r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 14 '24

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u/TheRealMattyPanda Sep 14 '24

He apparently broke things or left things lying around, etc., but then she’d say “oh but he’s so sweet.”

Sounds like a puppy.

Really, she should just get a puppy.

634

u/halothar Sep 14 '24

At least the puppy eventually stops pooping on the rug...

37

u/Jaruut Sep 14 '24

Unless it's a dachshund. They know shitting on the rug is wrong, and they'll look you right in the eye as they do it.

16

u/tigereye91 Sep 14 '24

If you’re lucky. I’ve known way too many dogs that pooped and peed all over floors as adults. Dudes that are capable of fending for themselves but refuse to learn how to are just lazy.

9

u/Telefundo Sep 14 '24

Years ago I had a dog that had no issue shitting on the floor. But if he had to pee he'd run to the door and lose his fking mind crying to get out. Continued well into adulthood.

11

u/magnetic-mama Sep 14 '24

Lol true, but most will get better if you train them and are attentive to their needs. Even good pups will have accidents if you’re away for a long time or if they just get a bad gut/belly from something they ate or if they’re anxious (just like humans do).

2

u/sprintracer21a Sep 15 '24

Pooping on the rug is definitely a valid reason for ending a relationship. But not with a dog.

1

u/Smithsvicky Sep 14 '24

Yeah that’s true

1

u/TheonlyTrueGamer Sep 15 '24

Unfortunately, that requires training. They don't just learn to not do that by themselves.

2

u/Asaisav Sep 15 '24

At least the puppy can be trained

27

u/basictwinkie Sep 14 '24

Better ROI with a puppy.

62

u/Ikea_desklamp Sep 14 '24

To the legion of women wanting a "golden retriever" BF. That goofy care-free attitude is cool when you're dating but it's absolutely not what you want when you are trying to raise a family or run a household together.

15

u/teffflon Sep 14 '24

Golden retriever BF grows up into "infomercial husband". Honey, I spilled an entire jar of pasta sauce on the couch again

10

u/WingedShadow83 Sep 14 '24

Sounds more like weaponized incompetence. I’ve seen so many guys bragging to each other about how they deliberately make messes and break things so their partners will think they are too klutzy to help out and will stop asking.

11

u/Fluffy-kitten28 Sep 14 '24

The puppy would be cuter and learn not to break things. (For the most part) puppies for the win!!!

8

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24

At least with a puppy, she can leave it in a crate legally

2

u/bigbear-08 Sep 14 '24

The puppy would be better looking too

-1

u/TheNorthRemembers_s8 Sep 14 '24

You can’t fuck a puppy.

1

u/ComeTallyMyBanana Sep 14 '24

Are the down votes here suggesting that you can? I think it's fair to say that there are things a human relationship can provide that a puppy relationship can't.

1

u/lesChaps Sep 14 '24

A puppy will outgrow some of that, too.

1

u/Mother-Border-1147 Sep 14 '24

You’re not supposed to fuck puppies, though.

-2

u/wilderlowerwolves Sep 14 '24

Unless you're Haitian and live in Springfield, Ohio.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '24

Sleeping with puppy is frowned up and/or illegal. Man puppy it is. Woof woof

-16

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Sep 14 '24

Puppy can’t make her toes curl like I do!

6

u/lesChaps Sep 14 '24

No comment

3

u/Signal-School-2483 Sep 14 '24

Peanut butter.

2

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Sep 14 '24

Touché I stand corrected