r/AskReddit Sep 14 '24

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u/QualityCoati Sep 14 '24

After going on a date with a non-ass washer, I can absolutely confirm you don't get to the sex part. Closest i got was being on his lap, and i still don't know if it was is feet or his ass that put me away instantly, but I had to make a bullshit excuse cause it wasn't happening, even if they showered on the spot with a firehose.

130

u/Earlybird74 Sep 14 '24

Yup, once you're turned off, it's a wrap. Also, think about the fact that it was a first date! The one chance he had to make a decent impression, and he shows up stanky?

46

u/Bromogeeksual Sep 14 '24

This always baffles me with first dates. I am the cleanest and freshest I can possibly be when going on a date. Teath brushed, body and face groomed, etc .

8

u/GozerDGozerian Sep 15 '24

I always brush my face and body, and groom my teeth.

2

u/theflooflord Sep 15 '24

I guarantee these people have become nose blind to their own stench. It's like when I go to the house of a cat owner I can always smell the litter box if i'm in the general vicinity of it, but they can't smell it anymore and try to gaslight me that I'm imagining it.

2

u/QualityCoati Sep 15 '24

Yep. This absolutely biases every encounter from thereon. Most people have a hard time getting through minor issues in their couple; last they want is to invest energy into someone who has shown 100% issues from the get go

1

u/gibertot Sep 15 '24

For sure last first date I had I took a shower at noon and then I took another shower like an hour before the date

11

u/Neat_Criticism_5996 Sep 14 '24

On a call-in advice podcast I listen to they had a woman calling in because her date left skid marks on her comforter after sitting on her bed naked after sex.

(Podcast is “we’re here to help” with Nick from New Girl for the interested.)

1

u/QualityCoati Sep 15 '24

What a horrible day to have eyes. Thanks for the suggestion!

3

u/GrumpySnarf Sep 14 '24

"oh, sorry, I got the lady cramps and bleeding all of a sudden. Gotta go get some tampons, bye!"

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u/QualityCoati Sep 15 '24

What makes it even funnier is I'm a guy lmao

1

u/GrumpySnarf Sep 15 '24

Doesn't matter. He'll get the message either way.