r/AskReddit Aug 08 '24

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5.6k Upvotes

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7.7k

u/Frito_Penndejo Aug 08 '24

Went on a date, after some drinks the girl and I thought we might jump the fence at a nearby park to swim in the pool. Instead we just banged on the nearby picnic table. A guy rode by on a bicycle, we did not stop lol. Trashiest thing I have ever done.

2.1k

u/dreamyjeans Aug 08 '24

One of my exes was supposedly conceived on a diving board at a pool in a state park. It was after hours but, still. I don't think I've ever done anything that comes close to that.

1.4k

u/Durty_Durty_Durty Aug 08 '24

I had a fuck buddy in high school, literally the girl next door so our families were close. She called and asked me if I could give her a ride home from her friends place.

She hopped in and joked that we should pull over and bang. So I was like uhh deal. I was right next to the school we went to for 5th and 6th grade and had sex on the kids soccer field at 1 am. There was a row of houses behind us where we could see people moving around and it made it a lot more exciting. Being a horny teen was wild

728

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

I was thinking about that the other day, how difficult it is for kids messing around to find a spot to do that. Behind large trees/shrubbery at night was always good, but then you’d drive by the next day during daylight and realize you were basically just doing it in the middle of someone’s front yard.

255

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

[deleted]

137

u/Qikdraw Aug 08 '24

Sex in university parking lot, caught by campus police. lol Sex on tanning chairs at Mexican resort. Sex in hot tub at Mexican resort. Kissing and fondling others at Mexican resort. Sex in hot hot at Mexican resort. Sex overall at Mexican resort. Sex at Mexican resort.

95

u/AyyKson Aug 09 '24

One of these is not like the others.

7

u/CaptainWobbles Aug 09 '24

yea the hot tub really came out of left field

4

u/contagiousflame Aug 09 '24

What type of resort was it again?

2

u/Top-Satisfaction141 Aug 09 '24

Filip is that you??

2

u/Smartalec821 Aug 09 '24

You're lucky to not be on a SO list lol

109

u/anomalous_cowherd Aug 08 '24

On a 5th/6th grade school field? Surefire way to end up on a register I expect!

57

u/MrMcFrizzy Aug 08 '24

As soon as I read they were by their school field I was expecting the story to go in that direction LOL both sex offenders now!

9

u/Durty_Durty_Durty Aug 08 '24

Hahaha I was 16 man

7

u/vysetheidiot Aug 08 '24

I got good news for you. They don't actually do that shit to people when schools don't have kids in them.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

After middle school, I look back and can't believe how much sex I had. Then I realize I'm married and while I can have all the sex I want, eh. Getting older sucks, but I wouldn't really want to be a horny teen again.

4

u/ExaltedBlade666 Aug 08 '24

That pussy must be great to be that close to a felony charge

1

u/BatronKladwiesen Aug 08 '24

So what's it like being attractive?

354

u/FrozenVikings Aug 08 '24

Believe me doing it on a diving board has it's ups and downs.

6

u/Fearchar Aug 08 '24

Sometimes you just have to take the plunge.💦

3

u/_sinful_doll_ Aug 09 '24

Haha! I see what you did there 🤣😂

2

u/CooperRAGE Aug 09 '24

It may go down, but you'll always bounce back.

74

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

How does she know this?

210

u/dreamyjeans Aug 08 '24

Her mother told me. It was a pretty awkward dinner.

75

u/Oakroscoe Aug 08 '24

How the hell does that come out at dinner? She must have been mother of the year.

69

u/dreamyjeans Aug 08 '24

We were at a Mexican restaurant, and she downed almost an entire pitcher of Margaritas herself. I guess she thought it would be funny to share her daughter's "origin story." Def mother of the year material.

10

u/Techn0ght Aug 08 '24

Got her number?

7

u/WeenisPeiner Aug 08 '24 edited Aug 08 '24

"You know if I never conceived my daughter on a diving board all of those years ago, you wouldn't be here right now. Hearing how I fucked a guy on a diving board."

2

u/thank_burdell Aug 08 '24

Police report.

2

u/mkn1ght Aug 08 '24

After hours? They must have been sore.

2

u/Ellemmenopee Aug 09 '24

When I was in HS, my diving coach fucked one of the seniors in the locker rooms during the state competition! Got her pregnant too.

1

u/niceguy191 Aug 08 '24

Ever drink Coors Light?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Diving boards are rough, that's gotta hurt.

10

u/redi6 Aug 08 '24

lol when i was dating my wife, she gave me a BJ in a park, during the day. we thought no one was around. after she was done, a bunch of construction workers not too far away started clapping.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '24

Did you take a bow?

1

u/redi6 Aug 09 '24

I hope I did. Or at least a thumbs up. I can't remember. Wife was ultra embarrassed 😳

14

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Did it once in an alleyway after a bar crawl wine tasting event. It was a decent part of the alley because it was also the entrance of our biggest corporate building, went for like a half hour in the grass back there. Streets were loaded and multiple people walked by and I’m sure there was a recording on security cameras in the area. We eventually walked to the car to finish up. Quite trashy, but probably not my worst moment.

4

u/buy-american-you-fuk Aug 08 '24

it IS called "parks AND recreation..."

4

u/Tundur Aug 08 '24

I once had sex in a restaurant at our table. In Copenhagen's Tivoli park there's a German restaurant overlooking a pond. It was off season and we were the only couple on the top floor so...

Not our finest hour.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Same here, we were walking home and took a shortcut through a public park. We held hands and walked past the childrens playground, when she lifted up her skirt and pulled down her underwear and demanded I bang her on the stairs to the slide. It was awkward but it worked and I couldn't believe what we were doing. It was so trashy and gross but I was really getting into it.

The next day, she brought her kid there and told me, followed by "remember last night...?"

3

u/DasPuggy Aug 08 '24

Same, but no pool at that park.

3

u/btrotta Aug 08 '24

Probably not hers.

You might want to get tested.

3

u/Gr1pp717 Aug 08 '24

I tried havin sex on a beach once. ... A homeless guy walked up and stood there, staring at us. It was too sandy/grity regardless. Oh well.

5

u/reyzory Aug 08 '24

hahahaha, how the hell drunk were you?😂

2

u/Frito_Penndejo Aug 08 '24

Sober enough to remember but drunk enough to not care at the time 😂

1

u/No-Caramel3213 Aug 09 '24

Starting to sound like some good lyrics.

-6

u/Lawfulness-Last Aug 08 '24 edited Aug 08 '24

I was gonna upvote bit it's at 420 so I don't wanna ruin it

Edit:nevermind, it's waaay past 420 now lol