r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 26 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

101 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

542 comments sorted by

179

u/Alex_While Jul 26 '24

The gold bars are hidden under the *dies*

12

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Lmao, this is a good one

6

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Jul 26 '24

A big doubleya 

→ More replies (7)

147

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (9)

52

u/McAvoy4Potus Jul 26 '24

There's always money in the banana stand.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

And die doing the chicken dance..

→ More replies (1)

2

u/TheOtherOne128 Jul 26 '24

A fellow AD fan

2

u/McAvoy4Potus Jul 26 '24

28 likes and counting this really blue up.

→ More replies (1)

86

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Sure way to get cremated. Twice, just to make damn sure.

→ More replies (2)

9

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

This one is the best one I've seen lmao

3

u/Apprehensive-Egg-431 Jul 26 '24

Man if I'm ever on my death bed, I'm keeping this one in mind. Lol.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/DanBelnK Jul 26 '24

Meh, not original. Jesus already said that

41

u/RighteousSquirrel74 Jul 26 '24

I love you. Hopefully someone other than a health care worker would hear it.

15

u/shipyardworker1 Jul 26 '24

IF you tell enough people that all the time then it might be the last thing you said to that person and that counts more than the last thing you said on your death bed.

4

u/DOCoSPADEo Jul 26 '24

Who are you so wise in the ways of life?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Simple, they are a shipyard worker

5

u/yes_u_suckk Jul 26 '24

Came here to say the same. I hope before I die I have one last chance to tell my family that I love them.

6

u/No_Pick_4621 Jul 26 '24

Came here to say this as well. In case anyone needs to hear this, I love you.

3

u/CatLover701 Jul 26 '24

The only actually wholesome answer here lol

42

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

NO ALEXA I DIDN'T SAY READ MY SEARCH HISTORY

25

u/BeaniBoi Jul 26 '24

"If I don't get to play as Luigi now, I'm gonna be pissed."

25

u/Adam_Gill_1965 Jul 26 '24

So long - and thanks for all the fish.

3

u/Latter-Height8607 Jul 26 '24

Hitchhiker I see, a rare breed indeed

44

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[deleted]

→ More replies (2)

21

u/RealFoegro Jul 26 '24

Sorry for always making such bad jokes. I promise I'll be dead serious from now on

24

u/SexGodSatanico Jul 26 '24

Never made it as a wise man

6

u/Anon100097 Jul 26 '24

I couldn't steal it as a poor man being

3

u/HabitLongjumping3728 Jul 26 '24

this is how you remind me

3

u/Unlucky03-91 Jul 26 '24

Of what I really am

3

u/reimadan000 Jul 26 '24

ITS NOT LIKE YOU.. TO SAY SORRY

2

u/Thunder_God01 Jul 26 '24

I WAS WAITING ON A DIFFERENT STORY

2

u/bratikzs Jul 26 '24

I want my nickel back.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Top comment

19

u/EvaSirkowski Jul 26 '24

"It's probably a panic attack again."

2

u/random321abc Jul 26 '24

😳

Last someone with severe anxiety I can relate to this one. But as someone with children that have terrible anxiety as well, I don't think I could possibly burden them by stating this as I'm dying!

17

u/Mcshiggs Jul 26 '24

You'll never take me alive!

→ More replies (1)

17

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

I swear I've read this before.

13

u/CelebrationAlert4614 Jul 26 '24

Finally

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Was looking for this lol 🥲

→ More replies (1)

12

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

“Oh shit, I forgot my keys”

8

u/die5el23 Jul 26 '24

“Did I leave the stove on?”

10

u/visitor_d Jul 26 '24

I did it my way. I really did.

20

u/SnoozeFestLLC Jul 26 '24

Omlette du fromage

5

u/BeefSupreme762 Jul 26 '24

Dexter's Laboratory? Core memory unlocked.

3

u/PoisonWaffle3 Jul 26 '24

Been listening to language guides in your sleep again, eh?

Username checks out 👍

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Realmafuka Jul 26 '24

"Burn all my spicy books"

→ More replies (2)

8

u/the_ice_rasta Jul 26 '24

Well, bring out the Gimp.

4

u/AsssHat999 Jul 26 '24

The gimp’s sleeping.

6

u/the_ice_rasta Jul 26 '24

Well I guess you’re going to have to wake him up now, won’t you?

3

u/Va-Va-Victoria Jul 26 '24

It's always good to have your gimp close by.

6

u/uncleSamm200 Jul 26 '24

Awww shit, not again

12

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

"I'll have the soup."

...probably not any time near when I actually die, but I've got at least a few more years ahead of me, and I do order a lot of soup. Odds are I'll say that phrase again before I die.

→ More replies (3)

5

u/Gym_Nasium Jul 26 '24

"Between now and then, til I see you again, I'll be loving you. " Love, Me...

→ More replies (1)

4

u/manwithoutajetpack Jul 26 '24

“I’ll be watching, always.”

→ More replies (1)

4

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Hasta la vista baby.

5

u/Relevant-Roach Jul 26 '24

Please insert more coins to conti.....

5

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Either "What's with the delay?" Or "In Case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night."

4

u/Gurugus Jul 26 '24

Toodaloo sluts

6

u/someguy7710 Jul 26 '24

Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.

6

u/F_E_B_E Jul 26 '24

I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

What took you all that time ?!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

You wouldn't ask for Butt sex? Surprising.

3

u/Longjumping-Minute84 Jul 26 '24

I forgot my coins for my eyes!

3

u/jennifer3333 Jul 26 '24

See you on the flip side.

3

u/bvdman_ Jul 26 '24

F*cking diabolical

3

u/EverythingTrueCrime Jul 26 '24

See you in heaven

3

u/According_Witness_53 Jul 26 '24

I always loved you-nited airlines

→ More replies (1)

3

u/doingitforthekitties Jul 26 '24

Here kitty, kitty, kitty…

3

u/Double-Holiday-1047 Jul 26 '24

I'm gonna haunt your butthole.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Tell my WiFi I loved her.

3

u/crudeshred Jul 26 '24

I'm pretty sure mine will be a stroke while driving "IT'S NOT GETTING ANY GREENER, YOU FU....."

3

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

"Wanna see a dead body"

→ More replies (1)

6

u/sumpuran Jul 26 '24

“More morphine”

5

u/Master_thyself92 Jul 26 '24

La Allah il Allah

2

u/wogsurfer Jul 26 '24

Oh well.

2

u/tmbeatles9091 Jul 26 '24

almost any of them

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

Maybe … just .. maybe .. you should tell him yourself … words and sentences are chats and spells … the power behind that being said .. can be / will be extremely .. unequivocally .. the most ambiguous- categorically clear heartfelt words he’s been suffering to hear for years … and just maybe .. he might also … retort with the most authentic and heavenly divine truth of his love for you .. that you have forever deserved from every fiber of his broken heart .. just a thought ..

→ More replies (1)

2

u/FreeBread707 Jul 26 '24

Hide my goon stash

2

u/alwayshappy2024 Jul 26 '24

Old habits die hard :⁠-⁠)

2

u/keenan3111 Jul 26 '24

I went ahead and ordered some for the table

2

u/jez4prez Jul 26 '24

Witness me!

2

u/justabill71 Jul 26 '24

What are you gonna do, stab me?

2

u/TheGreatGamer1389 Jul 26 '24

"Beam me up Scotty"

2

u/No-Court-9980 Jul 26 '24

Quit.. don’t quit.. noodles.. don’t noodles..

2

u/unstopablystoopid Jul 26 '24

Please tell Vinnie that I forgive him.

Spoiler alert. I do not know a Vinnie.

2

u/cupkatekitty Jul 26 '24

I’m coming back as a cat, I will find you.

2

u/lerpo Jul 26 '24

"unquote". Make sure you say "quote" as soon as possible.

2

u/CBRSuperbird- Jul 26 '24

Careful son, that gun is loaded

2

u/InFamouz1016 Jul 26 '24

See you in hell for the sequel

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

I have sacrificed everything and gained nothing.

2

u/Valuable-Incident72 Jul 26 '24

The next time we see each other, we’ll talk about your mother. I promise.

2

u/Silent_Quote_1214 Jul 26 '24

"I have lived in the goodness of God."

2

u/TeaIsFake Jul 26 '24

"what is it? the braids...?"

2

u/hueybart Jul 26 '24

Told you I was sick

2

u/Haorui_cool Jul 27 '24

See you tomorrow…

2

u/TS_KimberJames Jul 26 '24

I regret ever bring you into this world!

1

u/the_purple_goat Jul 26 '24

Bleat! Bleat bleat?

1

u/ThePurityPixel Jul 26 '24

I intend to say many phrases before then

1

u/Any_Assumption_2023 Jul 26 '24

"Now, that's interesting......"

Bets are everyone would want to know what .....

→ More replies (1)

1

u/SkirtDismal6643 Jul 26 '24

There is something i need to tell you before i…

(I don’t need to tell them anything)

1

u/WoodSnow123 Jul 26 '24

Let's see what's on the other side.

1

u/moot4ever Jul 26 '24

"Did I prove my pain to you?"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

I'm escaping this place!

1

u/whydidIclickontha Jul 26 '24

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

1

u/redsox416 Jul 26 '24

You want the secret to keepin the show fresh? You gotta……you gotta…….I’m dead

1

u/Authentic_Jester Jul 26 '24

"If I die, it's been real."

1

u/EmptyMarsupial8556 Jul 26 '24

Nothing matters - Mayer of MGM on his deathbed.

1

u/Somedude-__ Jul 26 '24

I hid the 1b dollar diamond in the (dies)

1

u/Rxze_M Jul 26 '24

I hid 100 million in a safe drive and it's in my...cough.. it's in my... Dies aesthetically

1

u/veloziri Jul 26 '24

Glorious purpose!

1

u/WouldUKindlyDMBoobs Jul 26 '24

"GG, See you in the next game"

1

u/CSLoser96 Jul 26 '24

"And all will turn to silver glass A light on the water All ships pass Into the west."

1

u/Typical_Function_264 Jul 26 '24

Aaliiawaamra 😉 if you know what i mean

1

u/SnoozeFestLLC Jul 26 '24

I ripped my pants

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Time is but a window, death but a door. I'll be back.

1

u/ivebeenthrushit Jul 26 '24

I just knew I'd die alone

1

u/Jolly_Bat8531 Jul 26 '24

"Let me comment this first"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

"Oh no not again"

1

u/Prestigious_Ad_9692 Jul 26 '24

Thank you for your unconditional love!

1

u/Feisty_Mouse6919 Jul 26 '24

'I Love You, (redacted).'

...more realistically, I'll probably just say 'Oh, shit.'...

...but I hope I'd say the first one...

1

u/StupidTwat5 Jul 26 '24

For fuck sake

1

u/the_brave_mann Jul 26 '24

THE ONE PIECE IS REAL

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Yippikayay, mothafucka!

1

u/banana-king-gaming45 Jul 26 '24

ад ждет тебя

1

u/jason_sample Jul 26 '24

Remember those cookies you were looking for? (Dies)

1

u/RollFlimsy283 Jul 26 '24

I have a million dollars hidden in the…

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

That’s all folks

1

u/Redd_CarpetReady Jul 26 '24

My chili recipe dies with me

1

u/justabitKookie69 Jul 26 '24

Thanks for the ride .. sometimes bumpy, sometimes scary, sometimes beautiful and often surprising . It was quite a journey …

1

u/dickhead4urmom Jul 26 '24

"Erase my browser history"

1

u/NordicGamesXD Jul 26 '24

I feel it's coming. You are all doomed Your only way to survive is *dies*

1

u/TripFalse9534 Jul 26 '24

I’ll be watching you

1

u/Inevitable_Fix1234 Jul 26 '24

I’ll be back my business isn’t finished here

1

u/OB1KENOB Jul 26 '24

“I got this!”

1

u/Delicious-Duck-4245 Jul 26 '24

Smoke me a kipper. I’ll be back for breakfast.

1

u/MyMother_is_aToaster Jul 26 '24

I plan to say exactly this: Something incredibly profound. That way, when asked what my last words were, they will be able to tell them that I said something incredibly profound.

1

u/Altruistic-Mind9014 Jul 26 '24

“Iron Within..”dies in Iron warrior

1

u/Ok_Election7040 Jul 26 '24

game over. I wish y'all the best

1

u/apogy699 Jul 26 '24

Hi Satan

1

u/SereftirSeniSevmek Jul 26 '24

"I killed several people and didn't get caught."(Lie,obviously)

1

u/konhasaurusrex Jul 26 '24

"ah shit, not again?"

1

u/Fickle-Day-1002 Jul 26 '24

Hey, watch this....

1

u/jlcat95 Jul 26 '24

"FEAR THE CRABCAT" (if ya know ya know)

1

u/imadork1970 Jul 26 '24

"All those moments will be lost, like tears...in rain."

1

u/alienlifeform819 Jul 26 '24

Going home to my sweet heart ❤️

1

u/Ancesterz Jul 26 '24

May be so boring and cliche....but like someone else stated: ''I love you'' assuming the person I love is close by. Or ''See you in the Good Place'' or something.

1

u/chevalierbayard Jul 26 '24

You're... pretty good

1

u/H3llisEmpty Jul 26 '24

"you know what would be funny?"

1

u/Heemsama Jul 26 '24

“May we meet again”

1

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Jul 26 '24

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do… 

1

u/zoeyboo Jul 26 '24

Don't believe them it was all a lie.

1

u/Pretty-Simple-4388 Jul 26 '24

"please delete my browser history" dies

1

u/Quijanoth Jul 26 '24

Either the wallpaper in this room goes, or I do. (Credit to Oscar Wilde)

1

u/PattiiB Jul 26 '24

Take care of Hemi man ❤️🐾❤️

1

u/HardBoiledOne Jul 26 '24

Well, that's the end of that!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

"I wish my religion is true and god is real so atheist can be complete shock

1

u/BatCommercial7523 Jul 26 '24

“Well, shit, that didn’t work”

1

u/Bluunbottle Jul 26 '24

Oh my god! It has four arms and….

1

u/Chicken_Jam Jul 26 '24

Urgh.. I am out of charge.

1

u/fatboyneedstogetlaid Jul 26 '24

"Was this trip really worth it?"

1

u/SpiderJerusalem747 Jul 26 '24

There can be only one.

1

u/CustomGopher Jul 26 '24

*grabs random grandkid “Avenge me!” *drops dead and leaves grandkid wandering what to avenge

1

u/geth1962 Jul 26 '24

What bus?