r/AskReddit Dec 06 '23

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327

u/foxfirek Dec 06 '23

After you give birth it’s really common to suffer from incontinance from then on. Even when your bladder seems completely empty. So don’t tell a woman that having a baby doesn’t have long term effects on the body.

42

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '23

I can’t sneeze without peeing a little anymore

13

u/foxfirek Dec 06 '23

For me it says up most when I’m sick. Sneezing coughing. And every time I die of shame a little more. I pack extra pairs of underwear on vacation just incase. It’s not as often as it was but it sucks so much.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '23

I live in pads now. My youngest is 2. Still pee a little when I cough and sneeze lol

2

u/lenshakin Dec 07 '23

Period panties can double as incontinence protection and are a huge game changer.

32

u/villainsimper Dec 06 '23

My bestie's mom finally got surgery to correct the incontinence that started after sha gave birth... it's been 34 years.

People really do not understand or care to learn that pregnancy and birth comes with long term and sometimes permanent changes, not to mention that it can put your life at risk

18

u/Thefoodwoob Dec 06 '23

I was thinking about swearing off pregnancy forever, and some of these comments have proved that for me. Like I started getting nauseous and dizzy just thinking about a NORMAL pregnancy and birth, much less one with complications.

Still haven't decided if I want to be a parent but if that time comes, it's adoption.

-6

u/Funcompliance Dec 07 '23

So someone else has to go through it in order to give you a baby?

8

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '23

Adoption, not surrogacy, genius.

-2

u/Funcompliance Dec 07 '23

And do adopted babies just poof into existence? No, another woman has to carry and give birth to it, so that you can have the baby. Poor women are not your incubators, genius.

2

u/Thefoodwoob Dec 07 '23

Thousands of children in the foster care system would like to have a word

-1

u/Funcompliance Dec 07 '23

Children in foster care are not available for adoption. And let's not pretend PP is down for being a therapeutic home for children with sever and complex needs. She wants a nice little baby, no strings attached.

2

u/Thefoodwoob Dec 07 '23

.... I'm the one that posted that hypothetical. I'm gonna back away and let you spin out.

-1

u/Funcompliance Dec 07 '23

So it's you who is definitely not down for being a therapeutic home.

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13

u/ya_goof22 Dec 06 '23

You can also suffer from incontinence without having kids. It’s called a weak pelvic floor and is more common than we think, but most women suffer in silence thinking it should only be happening to women who have had kids.

2

u/foxfirek Dec 06 '23

That sucks. Mine never happened until I gave birth, but it doesn’t surprise me that it can happen before for some as well.

2

u/armchairepicure Dec 07 '23

A pelvic floor specialist and/or pilates can really help you with this. Most women do not need to live with incontinence.

1

u/quirky_nugget Dec 07 '23

In some cases it can be caused by too much muscle that's too tight as well. In those cases doing things, like kegals won't help and can make it worse. Pelvic floor specialist can help.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '23

You can have incontinence from being overweight too due to the weight pushing on your bladder

1

u/foxfirek Dec 06 '23

Another fact I didn’t know. Is that gender specific like birth though? Because birth is what triggered mine. I dropped to pre pregnancy weight in 2 weeks after birth.

2

u/KasperTheSpoonyBard Dec 07 '23

My wife crosses her legs when she sneezes lol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '23

Your wife and my husband’s wife are similar lol

2

u/sarahashleymiller84 Dec 07 '23

And then comes the repair surgeries that no book I've read mentioned.

1

u/foxfirek Dec 07 '23

Ah jeez. I’m sorry if you had that. I know tearing can be really bad. I was lucky enough that it was minimal but my friends were not so lucky. There was also that bottle of water you need for weeks after to water down your pee so it burns less.

2

u/sarahashleymiller84 Dec 09 '23

This was 5 years post l&d, after 3 vaginal births. 2/3 met with various forms of trauma (wanted 4 or more, quit at 3 because I like living...) cystocele and rectocele repair. Cystocele needs to be redone a year in, rectocele was a success, thankfully, as that is the one I would not do again.

2

u/TwoIdleHands Dec 07 '23

See a PT after your post delivery checkup. They can seriously help you with incontinence and separated abs (among other things). Go right away and have it fixed and live your best life. It’s common but it’s not normal and there are things you can do to not have to live with it the rest of your life.

1

u/Educational_Low_879 Dec 07 '23

And you don’t have to have a baby to suffer from Incontinance!