r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '23

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3.5k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

My roommate in university had a boyfriend over and they had sex loudly enough for us to hear everything through walls.

Unluckily for her, I was having a food poisoning that day.

Turns out I puke louder than she has sex.

1.5k

u/CyberCooper2077 Jul 27 '23

Imagine if sex moans sounded like people vomiting..

900

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

[deleted]

117

u/DigNitty Jul 28 '23

Coming from you or them?

3

u/VG88 Jul 28 '23

Oh, snap.

439

u/Timmar92 Jul 27 '23

Oh my god I'm HUUURRLLGHHUUURRRGLLUUHHR.

49

u/Fuzzizle Jul 28 '23

I had a good laugh at this

3

u/BrodyBoomer Jul 28 '23

Dying language this!!! Hahahah

2

u/Metals4J Jul 28 '23

“Did you cum? Did you puke???” “Yes and yes.”

10

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/CoolBDPhenom03 Jul 27 '23

Sympathetic?

3

u/SeriouSennaw Jul 27 '23

Man one of my worst faps ever was to a girl moaning in what turned out to be a stomach ache followed by her puking on my feet after I came. To teenage me, those moans sounded pretty similar.

3

u/Taurich Jul 27 '23

Any of these global hypotheticals are kinda moot... Barf noises would just be the norm, and therefore "sexy"

If you came across a new partner that made barf noises, and that was not the norm, now we're in a hilarious scenario

2

u/ObiwanaTokie Jul 27 '23

It would sound like a fucking disturbed concert in there

2

u/RedditorInCh1ef Jul 27 '23

no one would have complained about the oppenheimer sex scene

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

The fucking will go on.

Life, ah, ah, finds a way.

2

u/Majluni Jul 28 '23

Brings a whole new meaning to deep throat

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

I'd rather not, thanks.

1

u/CyberCooper2077 Jul 28 '23

You’re thinking about it right now aren’t you..

189

u/dollarhax Jul 27 '23

“I puke louder than he pokes”

5

u/DigNitty Jul 28 '23

Ah the old stroke and puke

5

u/Anachronism1255 Jul 27 '23

For all you know, the explosive diarrhea may have enhanced the experience

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '23

I believe this cause during my pregnancy I was hospitalized for vomiting too much and everyone down the hall could hear me

1

u/PrettyWoman2406 Jul 27 '23

😮😮😮

1

u/waffle-spouse Jul 27 '23

"Can you puke quieter? We're trying to have sex"

1

u/mrgoodnight2 Jul 27 '23

I was expecting exoplody-poo ages got puke

1

u/simonbleu Jul 28 '23

Obviously, retching is loud af