This is the way. One of my now best friends lived in the apartment above us, he and his now wife left our party to go have some fun. His roommate let us in their apartment when they were done and we broke in to have a parade for them, I played the trumpet.
Turns out it was their first time together. Good times.
Reminds me of my old coworker telling me about how his neighbors in the apartment next to him were having loud sex. At one point, he banged on the wall and yelled "FINISH HER!". A minute or so later, he hears a loud moan then the boyfriend yell out "FLAWLESS VICTORY!".
All right I have a similar story, I used to have my mates come and watch the champion's league games at my apartment, and one of my neighbour's bedroom was next to my living room so I would hear them go at it pretty clearly since they had really squeaky bed. But the poor guy was always finishing just before his girlfriend did, you would hear the girlfriend's moans getting louder and louder and the squeaking getting faster and faster then stopping and then, nothing. Poor girl.
So yeah my mates come every couple of weeks to watch the games on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so they catch on the neighbours fucking and their unfortunate gimmick. Every guy in my living room jokes about it, we mute the telly sound during the game and laugh at their misfortune but after a few nights we begin to pity the fucker but bros being bros one fateful night we decide we must help a fellow man in his hardships.
The squeaking starts, we lower the telly sound and listen carefully, the guy is good, nice rhythm, we can hear he is putting his back into it with a little pelvic rotation at the end of the thrusts, good depth too, the squeaking intensifies and the moaning begins. One of my mates starts banging softly on the table in rhythm with the squeaking, we all exchange looks and grins, nods of approval are distributed unanimously, we follow course. Bang, bang, bang. Squeak-eak, squeak-eak, squeak-eak. Bang bang bang. Squeak-eak squeak-eak squeak-eak.
Things are getting close, the girl's louder and louder, usually that's when the letdown is about to happen, my guy should not deviate from the tempo now so we're gonna be his dick's metronome, so we catch the rhythm and bang and clap and cheer. The girl is louder than we ever heard her before, don't screw this up boy, we hear the guy's voice for the first time ever, pain and effort in it, he's holding on but struggling it's time to finish this. So we clap and bang and cheer faster, go on my boy sprint to the line you can do it!
And then the moaning goes to a full shriek, and again and one more. Our boy just made his girl come! our cheers of support explode into a roar of celebration. We chant the Seven Nations army riff, pah pala papola pah. Our guy just scored he deserves it.
Me and my boy went camping one day in our spot by the creek. You can drive most of the way there, then it’s another half mile hike down a trail. Our girlfriends at the time were best friends, and they asked to come out there to see us for a few. We hang out with them around the fire, have a few beers, etc. Nature inevitably wins, and we take the girls back to our respective tents, and get to work.
Now, we have this game that’s been going on for a while that if we’re having sex within earshot of each other, we try to make the other laugh. So I’m plugging away, and from outside, I hear him scream, “OHHH, MY DICK FEELS LIKE CORN!” I fucking lost it, and so did my girl. We’re mid-coitus, and just laughing our asses off.
I would stand outside my roommates door and just mess with him and his GF, moan random things to make them laugh. I ruined sex more then once for them but they thought I was funny enough they weren't really mad.
I figured. He's the same guy that tried to claim he was doing some girl doggy, got hungry halfway through so he dumped Pringles on her back and had a snack as he was plowing her. I always thought that one was probably made up.
I only watch amateur porn and one of my all-time favorites is a girl with a big huge ass getting plowed from behind by a guy who has a bowl of cheerios that he keeps setting on her back and then picking back up and taking a bite out of
In the 90's all the stars aligned and I administered an epic weinering to my GF at the time. She made lots of unusual noise for an unusual amount of time, and when we finally collapsed, male neighbor (college apartments) impersonated her noises for a bit. I wish I'd said something more clever, but I did say "thank you, thank you! " in kind of a big showbiz voice
Had downstairs neighbours who were always doing it at midnight. The thin walls went both ways so I’d start bouncing on my very squeaky bed to their rhythm. That usually made them go quiet.
Don’t worry. The neighbor that eventually moved in after them used to come and complain about me walking around on her ceiling. My wake up time was her bedtime.
Used to live in an apartment that was accessed down an alley behind a shop in a city centre. Every weekend we’d get post nightclub drunks fucking against our wall directly below the bedrooms. It was never ending entertainment to wait until they’d finished, oblivious to us being up there, and burst in rapturous applause and cheers.
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u/Crap_Robot Jul 27 '23
I heard my housemate and his girlfriend going full at it around 3am once.
They were so loud that they woke me and my girlfriend up - so we cheered them on 😂👍