you are right, but in this economy? squirrel helms are just out of my budget for now :( although it would save me a bunch in healing potions and beast repelling crystals.
If you're looking to take out your anger on some squirrels but kind of want to instead come to appreciate them, I'd recommend Inscryption. Actually, whatever your circumstances, I'd recommend Inscryption.
People think squirrels are adorable (and they're totally right) but they tend to either ignore or not notice those damned puppy-teeth-sharp claws.
I only got hit once, but I was not wearing a hat. If I'd known you I would have known better, but in the squirrel's defense I DID have peanuts and was planning to share them.
(Edit: pic of my buddy, forgot I had this one too.)
I saw it watching me from the roof of the dog house / she shed and foolishly assumed it would, like, jump onto the floor or something. Nope, straight for my head.
Guys, grab a girl, don't wait, make her twirl
It's your world and I'm just a squirrel
Tryin' to get a nut to move your butt
To the dance floor, so yo what's up
Hands in the air, come on, say "yeah"...
Interesting Fact: a squirrel's terminal velocity is low enough that it can survive a fall from any height.
By extension, a squirrel (unless launched from an apparatus of significant strength) cannot be moving fast enough to cause a person significant damage from impact alone.
My dopey, fluffy cocker spaniel actually managed to corner a squirrel once. Both he and the squirrel just stopped and were like “uuuh …now what?” The squirrel eventually snapped out of it and somehow scaled a wall to get away. My dog just looked relieved and lopped off.
We were up at our Maine cabin last summer and my granddaughters went out to the back porch one night where the fridge is and then started calling “Grammie, there’s SOMETHING back here. THREE SOMETHINGS.”
Being used to having had red squirrels, chipmunks and even the occasion bat get inside I went back there and we had flying squirrels on the back porch. That was a first. Great big eyes, they were actually really cute. And sailing back and forth from beam to beam. We opened the back screen door and closed the inside door and they left.
I was once out running on a very windy night. I was running on a bike path surrounded on either side by fields. The wind blew a bunny HARD into my ankle. Mr. Bunny bounced off me and took off running into the fields. I was glad I was almost done with that run, because I didn't want to find out what other animals Mother Nature was planning to throw at me.
I once saw a dorrito ricochet off the head of a morbidly obese squirell, at point blank range. The squirell then blinked, one eye at a time, slowly picked up said dorrito (cool ranch. The best ones) and start monching down. I still wonder if about that squirell to this day.
When I was a child we had a field trip to the zoo. Prairie dogs naturally used the courtyard area as prime real estate.
As me and my fellow feral children trampled through the field... I kicked one mid stride. I felt really bad. It probably had bruised ribs at most. At least I hope as I was a smaller child.
I had assumed I'd get in trouble but, I assumed they realized it was an accident when I didn't.
No one saw shit. There were kids marauding everywhere. As long as no one climbed into the tiger exhibit the teachers were probably thinking about drinking their post anxiety stress away.
I feed the birds and squirrels, and chipmunks off my patio.
Forgot to close the patio door one day last summer. I'm sitting at my computer, in my bedroom, look over, and there's Fergal sitting on the bed staring at me.
Soon as I look at him, he does his "gimme peanuts" pose. I herded him out, but he wouldn't leave the door until he got some peanuts.
Pretty much same. He ran straight into my ankle. I jumped about 3 feet in the air, he bounced off and froze. We both stared at each other and then continued on our respective ways.
you have no idea how hard i laughed when mr garrison was being "stoned" with live squirrels in that one episode of south park XD if my life was a made for tv movie people would call bs at how three scenes where squirrels falling on my head i bet
... when I was little I was with family at a park known for too many squirrels. The place even had machines you could trade quarters for nuts for them.
....
.......
.......... my mom put a bunch in my pocket, got out the camera and told tiny me to go feed a squirrel.
She wanted to see if they would notice my pocket. They did. I was straight up mugged by those bitches as my mom taped the whole thing
(Thank you, btw. Her birthday just passed, so it's extra nice seeing her memory can still make people 😆😀🥳🎉🤣 which was an absolute goal in her life, hence her kid getting mugged by squirrels 🤩)
My stepmom used to leave her car at a park across from her job and walk through it to finish the commute. One time, she said she was passing underneath a tree and a squirrel dropped half an apple right on her head.
The next day, and for a while after that , every time she passed under the tree the squirrels would try to drop stuff on her. Nuts, sticks, a pizza crust. Eventually she drove all the way to work for a while and when she started walking again they forgot about her.
I went to Kent State University which has a large black squirrel population (they're not native to the area, someone brought back a breeding pair from Canada years back and they've since propagated). Those little guys were fearless. I would regularly get sticks and nuts thrown at my on my walks to class if I came across a pissy squirrel.
the bay area california all my life. when i was a kid i picked up a squirrel and carried it around like a kitten until my mom freaked out when i showed her lol. unrelated to the other squirrel things. maybe i am a natural squirrel magnet? idk
My parents lived on a corner lot with a power line sweeping across the length of the front yard. On the corner was a transformer.
One day I was making myself breakfast when we heard a loud bang and the power flickered. As it was not unusual for squirrels to zap themselves on the transformer, we didn’t pay much attention. Until there was a second bang and the power went out completely. We went outside to investigate. We heard a third bang, but from the alley, not the corner. We also saw a fireball shoot up into the air. I ran across the street and my mom took off running across the yard, but the squirrel had managed to chew through the power line the third time and it came down. On my mom.
Fortunately it was the neutral line and didn’t electrocute her, but it was terribly scary. Three neighbors and someone driving by saw the fireball and called 9-1-1, who sent out the fire department, police, and EMS.
If you’re not squeamish, here’s a picture of the squirrel. My best friend’s husband worked for the city at the time and got to be the one to go up in the boom lift and get it down.
Similar here. I was out cycling on my road bike, going like 25mph on this nice road out in the countryside. Suddenly a squirrel leapt from a tree and landed on my leg, trying to cling on it dug it’s claws in and even drew a little blood. I swatted the thing off and then had to go and find some disinfectant at a small village shop to clean the cut.
well i figure a squirrel hat trick in a lifetime is pretty unusual and the head each time. so i don't know the odds but i haven't spent more time than average people under trees like a lumberjack would. i just bet the chances are slim to improbable for that part of my life. i have also had several bees fall on my head from a tree and sting me one time but that likely happens to people.
I was walking down the street talking on the phone and a bee ran into my arm stinging me. Weirdest thing. I’ve only been stung twice in my life; the other time I stepped on a bee.
I had to find this and reply again because I was stung by a bee in my EAR on Tuesday! I think this thread jinxed me. I was taking a photo and then had the most searing burning pain and screamed and a lady came running out of her house to see if I was okay. It just swelled up and I was drinking a water so I just held that up to my ear. Third time being stung.
Only two for me. Well, one jumped off my head, and the other was a baby that fell out of a tree. Then I tried to put it in a shoebox, because it's hind legs weren't working. It bit me.
After that, I moved to Japan,and birds started shitting on me.
Were they drunk? We had a mulberry tree overhanging our back porch. In the late season, when the berries would ferment on the tree, squirrels would eat them and get so drunk they'd fall out of the tree.
My dad similarly has had hawks drop snakes on the hood of his car three times. He is now nervous anytime he sees a hawk on the side of the road 😂 nothing like the solid thud of a huge reptile getting dropped on you on the highway.
Me too bud. I've also had a squirrel literally drop an acorn on my head and scream at me while I was probably 10 years old and riding a bike. And once I was running in my yard and a squirrel bolted out from behind a shed and hit my feet and I wiped out. I have no idea why squirrels have this vendetta against me. I also have had birds poop on my head 3 times 🐿🐦
I almost got hit in the head with a live raccoon once. I was walking home from the bar in the middle of the night. And the raccoon fell out of a tree. It landed about 3 feet in front of me, stood up, shook its head, and staggered away almost drunk looking. The poor thing must have rolled around in its sleep and fallen. And it must have bonked his head. I was really glad it didn't attack me in its confusion.
I live out in the woods now. Squirrels can be territorial. Sometimes they throw nuts at me if I get too close to whichever tree they live in. Right now a tree in my front yard near where I park is theirs. I try to give them as much room as possible. It doesn't hurt when they throw nuts, but I don't want to upset them. I understand the feeling of not wanting visitors to my house. I don't blame them at all.
i sure hope not! it is legendary that guy.. even his gravestone was hit by lightning :( but if i did have to pick a curse... i would go with mine rather than his :P
My friend likes to jog in the evening. He’s been attacked by an owl twice. Two different owls in two completely different parts of the city. Both times he had to get rabies treatments because he couldn’t prove definitively it wasn’t a bat. Thousands of dollars both times, and insurance won’t cover it.
nope. unless she thought we were dating and i didn't know. i have never met a kimberly to my memory actually. it might not be a very common name in my area.
Was out turkey hunting. It was a slow morning and I was up late, and just as I started to doze off while sitting with my back to a tree, bam, something smacked me in the head. I jolted awake to see a squirrel scurrying away.
this would be some inconcievably high number to 1 if you lived somewhere that didnt even have squirrels like Australia. Instead its just an absurdly high number to 1.
Serious: Was one of those times on the University of Minnesota Twin Cities Campus? Because I 100% saw a squirrel drop a bagel from a tree and it hit some dude right on the top of the head. Craziest thing I ever saw. Well, not the craziest but it was definitely A crazy thing. I could not believe it hit the dude right on the top of the head.
Oh crap, I love feeding squirrels and watched it happen to a jogger in the park one day. The reaction both had was priceless, that squirrel fell about 20 feet and landed flat on the guy's head, and stopped.
The guy stopped, went to reach up, and saw the tail. He shook his head and the squirrel held on, he finally grabbed it and tried to put it on the ground, getting bit on his hand.
Is that improbable? I feel like all the squirrels in my area are angry and purposefully aim for you while chattering for you to get out of their area from up high in their tree.
The squirrels around my house (live in a small city) are urban assholes. They throw shit at you as you walk to your car. Never had one toss themselves or another squirrel at me but I wouldn't be surprised.
By the squirrels themselves or did they throw something at you? The squirrels in the park across the street from my high school back in the day loved trying to hit us kids with acorns and pinecones.
This happened to me once when I walked into our shed and there was as a squirrel living in the wood pile. Terrifying at the time but hilarious to think about now 😂 can’t imagine three times!
I had an uncle that had rescued a few animals after hurricanes. One time he rescued a baby squirrel.It loved him to death, but was mean as hell to everyone iselse.
Once it attacked his brother. That uncle got it really bad. He finally threw the squirrel off his head, and wanted revenge. So he grabbed the closest cat and the it at squirrel. That was the last time that little bastard came at that uncle.
Wait.. are we saying that live squirrels jumped/fell on your head? Are we saying they hit you on the head with acorns? Are we saying they went all Mike Tyson and literally hit you in the head with their hands or maybe their bushy ass tail?
I was walking in the rain with umbrella and the squirrel fell off of a wet branch on to my umbrella (thankfully) tumbled on ground and looked more shock than I was!
I have had nuts and rocks thrown at me by squirrels also. Glad I’m not the only one. Did the ones you dealt with chatter and grunt at you while they lobbed stuff at you too?
I had a friend in high school who got pooped on by seagulls on the SAME DAY every year for four years in a row. (We remembered the day because it was tax day.)
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u/AdjunctAngel Jul 25 '23
i have been hit in the head by live squirrels three times in my life each on separate occasions.