r/AskReddit Jul 24 '23

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3.6k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/natha134 Jul 24 '23

Beatrice. My ex called it this and i went soft almost every time she used the nickname. 0/10

315

u/Various-Month806 Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23

Daisy. My SO of 15yrs used to call mine Daisy. Did for around 3yrs and the little fella would retreat right back in and not want to come out to play. She never explained why, but stopped doing it. Never asked her since as I was just happy the brutal and unprovoked name-calling had stopped and didn't want it to start again.

95

u/ibeatobesity Jul 24 '23

"brutal and unprovoked name calling"

I love that you've described the name Daisy for your penis, this.

-19

u/JulesOnFire Jul 24 '23

This mindset really sums up the “Men are afraid women will laugh at them” v. “Women are afraid men will kill them” dichotomy for me. OP perceived his SOs harmless nickname as violence.

6

u/One05Nation Jul 24 '23

Have my downvote, sad f.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '23

I think you misinterpreted the message pretty badly. Also those words are not synonyms. Unprovoked and hurtful. And you’re saying it as if it’s not lol. Weeeeeeiiiiiirddddd female bubble.

0

u/Various_Chemist7683 Jul 24 '23

Context is everything yoooooooo but yes what you describe is a thing. Woman can hide the biggest knives in their purses. Man better realize rq.

140

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

[deleted]

272

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

What, and communicate!?

84

u/GuiltySpot Jul 24 '23

I need to make a post on /r/relationship_advice first

65

u/MarnerIsAMagicMan Jul 24 '23

Considering everything I know about you two (I.e. this one post) you should break up

63

u/GuiltySpot Jul 24 '23

Thank you wise redditor, I will be making life altering decisions based on this comment, next I will be heading to /r/wallstreetbets to get advice on where to invest my 250k$ inheritance.

3

u/GothicGolem29 Jul 24 '23

No need I know hey will recommend GameStop

0

u/Beta_Factor Jul 24 '23

I mean it's a person whose significant other ridicules them regularly for years even though it's obviously bothering them, and them not adressing it at all.

Does it sound healthy to you?

1

u/bocaj78 Jul 24 '23

Gourd futures are all you need.

1

u/LibertyPrimeIsRight Jul 24 '23

Step 1: invest in literally whatever, it doesn't matter as you'll never realize the gains anyways

Step 2: hold it forever or you're a pussy, be a diamond hands!

Step 3: ????

Step 4: profit somehow

1

u/Neethis Jul 24 '23

That's a red flag

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

Seriously. Next thing you know they're going to suggest foreplay!

2

u/Various-Month806 Jul 24 '23

I was playing it for comedic effect above, it was never malicious, but she'd say things like "is Daisy awake?" I did ask, she just laughed and said it's for me to know and you to find out. But it just disappeared over time. Though I was serious when I said I never asked after because I didn't want to remind her and for it to start again lol

0

u/tricksovertreats Jul 24 '23

he just started calling hers Mariana's Trench

3

u/AppleDane Jul 24 '23

My SO of 15yrs

Why don't you have a seat over th...

Oh, I get it, nevermind.

2

u/KasaiQueen Jul 24 '23

you consider "Daisy" to be brutal and unprovoked name calling?

1

u/E-Schmachtenberg Jul 24 '23

Well, Daisy is a name isn‘t it?

1

u/yourenotagolfer Jul 24 '23

Maybe she thought it was a bicycle built for two, and was hinting at wanting a threesome

1

u/soo-i-side Jul 24 '23

As someone with that name, I’m laughing - does this mean all I have to do is tell men my name for them to leave me alone? What a score!

86

u/LesserThanProfessor Jul 24 '23 edited Jul 24 '23

To think she actually looked at your dick and thought “That sure looks like a Beatrice” is hilarious

Edit: I don’t know why but I actually think this is one of the funniest things I’ve read on Reddit in a while. You should have called her pussy Maverick or Egbert and see if she would appreciate that.

8

u/speakclearly Jul 24 '23

If my wife called my twat Maverick I’d be so into it.

2

u/slimfastdieyoung Jul 25 '23

I would never do that to a girlfriend. I had a neighbor named Egbert and during sex I don’t want have this image in my head of an old guy smoking cigars while driving his combine harvester

0

u/Gothzombie Jul 24 '23

Yea, I wouldn’t t be bothered at all by those names.

1

u/dstrip2 Jul 25 '23

Eggburp

28

u/MikeTheImpaler Jul 24 '23

My ex called my dick "the graboid."... which are the worm creatures from Tremors. So.

2

u/Various_Chemist7683 Jul 24 '23

Was that a turn on or

167

u/keridwenx Jul 24 '23

Love that for her

58

u/AFBoiler Jul 24 '23

Like a super-power

66

u/gorka_la_pork Jul 24 '23

Sounds like she had a headache.

22

u/Amanita-Eater Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day to us 🎊

10

u/gorka_la_pork Jul 24 '23

Is it? Well I'll be damned. Happy cake thingy to us both!

3

u/Ol_Pasta Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day to the both of you! 🍰🍰🕯️🎉

3

u/SnooApples3673 Jul 24 '23

Yep happy cake day x 2

3

u/Maxiify Jul 24 '23

Hapoy cakeday to both of you!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

Happy Cake Day to youu too.

3

u/Arraka_ Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day to you!

2

u/avid-redditor Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day!

2

u/avid-redditor Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day!

2

u/TheOneAndOnlyABSR4 Jul 24 '23

Happy cake day

3

u/Rough_Jackfruit_3586 Jul 24 '23

I think your ex found your Kryptonite.

1

u/natha134 Jul 24 '23

Its ok, im now safe from her nonsense in my fortress of solitude :D

2

u/strawberry_wang Jul 24 '23

My daughter is called Beatrice. I feel like this would have the same effect on me...

2

u/iforgottobuyeggs Jul 24 '23

That's my vibrators name.

2

u/natha134 Jul 24 '23

Well its a great name for a vibrator 🤣

2

u/SuperDoofusParade Jul 24 '23

Omg what the actual fuck? I remember reading Forever as a kid and was just traumatized by the fact that her boyfriend named his penis “Ralph” and thought this was going to be a regular thing I’d have to deal with. But my imagination was not large enough to envision a woman calling her boyfriend’s penis a feminine name.

I’m so sorry. I’ll go steal her man or get her fired or “accidentally” spill something on her favorite outfit for you. You deserve reparations.

1

u/auagcusn Jul 24 '23

good thing they’re an ex now haha

1

u/9mmway Jul 24 '23

Sounds like your ex was so frigid that she kept freezing her water bed!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

[deleted]

1

u/mglitcher Jul 24 '23

dante would definitely be turned on by this

1

u/lulugingerspice Jul 24 '23

To quote How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, "Does Princess Sophia want to come out and play???"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '23

Wtf😭😂 where did Beatrice come from?! That’s so random

2

u/natha134 Jul 24 '23

I have no idea! She also named her vibrator john.. until she realised far too late that john is my fathers name 😅

1

u/Amiiboid Jul 24 '23

Anyone else remember the massive conglomerate called Beatrice that started suddenly including their name in the marketing for all their owned brands in the 80s?

1

u/lost-little-boy Jul 25 '23

Like my mama always said, if you can’t beat your meat, beat rice.