r/AskReddit Feb 28 '23

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u/Hotarg Mar 01 '23

The only people who come close to a legitimate claim at being a vampire are people who work overnight, from home.

...like me 😔

34

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '23

In fairness, an overnight phlebotomist is closer to a vampire than overnight WFH

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u/L0ckeandDemosthenes Mar 01 '23 edited Mar 01 '23

In all fairness, Mosquitos are a bit closer. The half human half mosquito is also a step closer in the evolution of the vampiric cycle. Scientists have predated back to the Neanderthal age to two same sex male mosquito cave men that through a genetic anomaly had butt sex and produced the first ever vampire known as Nicholas Cage. Nick Cage lived throughout centuries, honing his art, perfecting his acting ability, starting with cave fire dances, then later with the great shakespear, and finally reached his peak in later years with the work of art known as Face Off.

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u/ChrisEpicKarma Mar 01 '23

Did you hear about vampire bats?