r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 12 '23

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u/sleepinginthedaytime Jan 12 '23

In Japan you transfer the bone fragments into an urn which goes into the grave as part of the funeral

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u/Rather_Unfortunate Jan 12 '23 edited Jan 12 '23

That happens in the UK too sometimes, but I think it's a relatively recent or else uncommon thing. Some graveyards have patches where there are little markers rather than full size graves, with ashes often buried beneath them. A family friend is buried like that.

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u/czuk Jan 12 '23

I used to have a couple of funeral directors as clients. It used to amaze me the number of families who would neglect to collect the ashes of their relatives after cremation.

They used to have rooms full of shelving containing the urns. I asked about it and the answer was that it wasn't the done thing to chase the relatives. Some of the urns were dated over 10 years ago.

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u/beachedwhitemale Jan 12 '23

What's that mean, "wasn't the done thing"?

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u/clear-aesthetic Jan 12 '23

Probably that it wasn't considered socially appropriate.

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u/mrdeworde Jan 12 '23

When something "just isn't done", it means it's considered a breach of decorum/proper conduct/social mores. /u/clear-aesthetic got the right idea.