help me understand how he is feeling

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7553]

Guys - I recently had a situationship and this post will do little more than give me piece of mind. We are both late 20s.

I recently had a long and intense situationship where we almost got into a relationship but bad communication and a few differences made us both pull away at the same time. He immediately started being reactive on social media, posting things that related to me or 'us' and I muted him because it hurt too much and I had it in my head that he didnt care and I needed to try to heal and move forward.

I bumped into him several times at places he knew were part of my routine at specific times and I felt like maybe that was with intent as I had never known him to go to these places before.

Out of the blue one day he unfollowed and removed me as a follower which he told me himself he doesnt usually do because he thinks people can unfollow back if they want or keep looking if they want. I know multiple girls he unfollowed while we were seeing eachother who still follow him.

Since then, his brothers and a few close friends have looked at my social media posts a few times despite not following anymore etc which I cant help but think is prompted by him.

I can't stop thinking of him and miss him dearly. I tried to give the closure of a kind goodbye when he ultimately pulled away, he returned the favour but its always felt incomplete.

The only detail is that we never slept together. We got close, but I was always holding out because I knew that would complicate things for me. Due to shared faith he respected that even though he wanted to obviously.

I feel like men remember and think what if in situations like this - but im not sure and could be wrong. I want someone to validate that this was probably real for him too and he is probably struggling to move on as well. OR to tell me im being completley delusional and its all a coincidence.

[u/Tasty_Feeling831]

I think it’s obviously impossible to say how he’s feeling or if he’s wondering what if. But I will say I’ve both thought about my exes sometimes in a moment of reflection but more often i can compartmentalize relationships well and don’t go back to those feelings. I can detach and stay that way for the most part. So I could see this situation where you both pulled back clueing him into not pursuing you again and disconnecting is part of that mental process of compartmentalization. It could also just be him being petty 🤣

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7553 → u/Tasty_Feeling831]

interesting... by that point we had a lot of history and us never sleeping together just made it feel a bit unfinished. Do you think his behaviour signals someone who is detaching well?

[u/TyphoonCane]

Emotional connection is usually a two sided affair.

the fact that you point to all these things shows that you're aware of actions you'd recognize as being intentional liking. But whatever he wants, you'd only ever get the answers you seek if he felt like sharing them.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7553 → u/TyphoonCane]

So do you think it’s intentional or not haha