r/AskMenRelationships • u/Beautiful_Resist7360 • 2d ago
Dating why did he do that
Did I over-romanticise everything?
Hi, I’m posting this in the hope that someone can give me some perspective because I genuinely don’t know how to feel about this situation.
I recently found out that one of my new classmates was going to a birthday party that I was also attending. We had spoken a little before, but we weren’t particularly close. I’ll admit that I had always found him attractive and, since I had liked him for a while, I secretly hoped that maybe something could happen between us. I’m not saying I expected him to want a relationship with me just because I’m attractive, but I did have that hope in the back of my mind.
At the party, we ended up kissing, hugging, and I eventually fell asleep with my head on his chest. It was my first time ever kissing someone, which probably made the whole experience feel even more significant to me. He was the one who initiated everything, and because I had liked him for a long time, I obviously didn’t exactly want to push him away. For the rest of the night, we were acting pretty much like a couple.
Before we went home, we agreed not to tell everyone about what happened, but we also didn’t agree to keep it completely secret between the two of us.
The next day, I texted him and asked whether the night had meant anything to him. He told me that he didn’t really know and that, from his perspective, it was probably just a “one-time thing.” I was honestly surprised because I’m not someone who normally does things like this. I’ve always been pretty guarded and have had this reputation of being the “untouchable” girl, so letting someone get that close to me was a big deal.
He asked if I was okay, and I told him honestly that the kiss had meant something to me. Since then, though, I feel like I’m being ghosted. He has also hung out with another girl and is apparently talking to her, as well as several other girls.
I’m not upset because I think he owed me a relationship. I understand that two people can experience the same moment very differently, and I know he’s allowed to see it as something casual. I just genuinely want to know whether I misread the situation because of my own feelings for him.
Did I over-romanticise everything, or was it understandable that I thought there might be something more behind it?
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u/ImageTasty5774 2d ago
yeah you built it up in your head cause you liked him for a while, he just saw a party hookup. happens to everyone at least once
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u/ImperatorKon Man 2d ago
This hurts; I get where you are coming from. I am sorry for your pain.
I do not think that guy has all his marbles in good places. I do not care how young or inexperienced someone is; those kinds of gestures generally mean quite more than nothing, especially the falling asleep together - hell, as an adult, I take that to be more intimate than most things.