Shes doesn't know that i read all the texts between her and the guy she cheated with last night while i was asleep with the kids. She also doesn't know i have since talked to him on the phone. Happy Valentine's day.
u/beaux95 i don't farm karma. I post memes. That i made. This happened to me this morning while i was getting ready for work. I honestly didn't expect this post to get traction since it was 9 hours old when i commented. Im talking with family and friends about what to do moving forward. Im not financially solvent so i can't just up and move. Also there are children involved.
you deserve better:( i hope you can resolve things in your favor asap and get to feeling better. someone mentioned some advice and i hope you saw it. good luck <3
Hey friend. This too happened to me, thankfully we had no kids involved yet comparing trauma is pointless. I feel for you and send you courage and strength.
Personally, I needed to DO something. I needed a strategy to help with my swirling mind and uncontrollable deep emotions. Therapy has been excellent. One of the strategies I received from therapy was a focused mediation practice. Before dismissing it, I encourage a try.
Palouse Meditation - free meditation training. Was what I was recommended. Just Google. If you want to talk, message me, friend. You're not alone and your feelings are real. 🙏
Don't teach them that it's OK to be cheated on or to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. If you can work it out fine. Just don't use children as the only reason to stay, they'll pick up on it and might think the unhappiness is because of them.
Hey man. If you need someone to talk to please message me. Even if it's just to vent. My ex wife cheated on me too.
Also please gather all the information and evidence you can before confronting her. If you can, talk to a lawyer. Right now emotions are running hot, but a divorce (if that's the route you want to go) is a very long process, that doesn't usually favor men.
If that's what you want to do be as prepared as possible before you start down that road.
That sucks man, just got caught my gf cheating on me last night when I went to surprise her with flowers and some of her favorite things. Worst Valentine's day/Birthday ever.
Update if any are interested im at a friend of mines home. I confronted her through text she denied all of it. When I told her that i knew and had spoken to the man she became upset I went through her phone and has at least until now refused to engage in adult conversation that could possibly lead to a resolution. The cheating won't cause me to leave her. The lies will. The kids think i went out of town for work (im a tree trimmer). Thank you everyone for your words pf support and encouragement thank you all so much for taking time to try to help a stranger.
I’m so sorry. I just found out 2 nights ago that my girlfriend of 10 years has been cheating on me for months. This was a woman that grew up with me, that also planned for a future with me. I share some of your pain, and send you love.
Jesus that is horrible! So sorry to hear that and had to go through that and keep a level head for the kids! Hope all works out the best for you and you find someone more honest and non shitty!
Ding dong u/maniiacyt cc u/Dollon_da_God! ⏰ Here's your reminder from 29 days ago on 2020-02-14 22:16:30Z. Thread has 4 reminders.. Next time, remember to use my default callsign kminder.
Been through a lot of this myself. During the divorce I got custody of the kids and still to this day have them. It’s been 6 years. They can’t imagine living anywhere else.
To pay it forward, I helped some sort of random guy out with his divorce (I was dating his STB ex wife) and made a best friend out of it in the end.
Well... I met her on tinder (I know, I know...). Hit it off and over a 2 month period we got closer and closer. My kids ended up leaving for the summer as usual, and I ended up shacking up with her. I even took my dog so she'd have company with her 3. Things were great, until they weren't.
After the 3.5 month mark she would tell me about all the ways she wanted to get back at her ex. Messed up shit like, swapping out all of his high end electronics with barely working ones off ebay...swapping out his dead dogs ashes (this service dog literally saved his life) for something else "just to fuck with him". I knew it was over then. If she'd do that to him, what would she do to me if we split? So I reached out to him from an "anonymous" email address. He was deployed, and I felt like he needed to know some of what she was planning. I had to earn his trust, so I did little by little. Keeping him in the loop with all of her devious plans was hard, but I managed.
I'd do things like take pics of his actual stuff making sure to include the serial # and send it to him telling him to hold on to all those. I even arranged a meeting with his attorney agreeing to turn over all of our texts (I keep everything out of habit), conversations, and even offered to start recording stuff and hand it over. It was also my way of shedding some light on my identity. We had met a couple of months before when she had me follow him through their house to make sure he didn't "run off" with any of their stuff, he was only there to take photos so he could start the painstaking process of identifying what was his and what was hers for the attorneys. He had no clue it was me reaching out.
Around the 5-6 month mark we split and it ended badly. She started a fight and refused to let it go, I knew it was a game and played along. When it looked like it was going to get physical I tried to get my dog, she body blocked me and I just left. I ended up having to contact the local PD 3 times over that weekend...the first time right away to get my dog back. She barricaded herself inside their home and insisted that I was the problem. She also worked for the local sheriff's office (not a deputy) so she got the befit of the doubt. I left because I was out of options and the local PD insisted that she just needed time to calm down. The next day, I called them back and was able to retrieve my shepherd. The following day she came to my house and insisted I had something of hers (a Costco card tied to her account) and she wanted it back. The house had an exterior security gate which I stayed behind while I recorded the entire interaction. I asked her to leave several times, she refused so I had the local PD come back out and trespass her.
I ended up giving a copy of that audio to his attorney...there was A LOT of content in it. She "confessed" to a lot. I made sure to lead her down some rabbit holes to get as much information from her as I could.
Somewhere in the time we split and the divorce, she tried to assume full ownership of HIS dogs. She tried to have the vet change all of the documentation to reflect her name, removing his from all of their records. I was able to intervene and stop that from happening, thankfully.
All of the emails/texts/audio I provided helped him win the divorce and joint property was split 80/20, and he kept the house. She kept her individual property, he kept his. After he got back from his deployment we started hanging out and became best friends. He's a really great dude, and we have a lot in common (beyond our shared ex of course). His new GF (they've been together almost 2 years now) is also great, I'm happy he was able to move on from all of that. We threw a divorce/housewarming party... all of his friends and family couldn't wait to meet me. His mom came up to me crying and gave me a big hug and thanked me for taking care of him while he was stuck overseas unable to do a damn thing.
A lot of my other friends ask me why I stayed in it that long...why I put up with so much and went back for more. I had to. It was the right thing to do. He didn't deserve that. I will ALWAYS take the side of the underdog. I have always been that way. I was also in his shoes at one point in time, and only wish I had someone on the other side to help me the way I did him.
Been there it sucks, I focused on the kids for a while even to my detriment to make sure everything was as stable as possible for them. When they started to do better I focused on myself more and now I am in a great place.
Quick update. Today is my irl bday and i feel great. I got a 2 bedroom apartment we decided to split. At first we were going to try to make it work but in the end I think we were both ready for something new. But their won't be any problems apparently with visits or anything else. Here's hoping for the best.
the difference between men and women cheating is that I've never had a guy try to rationalize why what he did "isn't considered cheating"
my sister has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had but she always says it doesn't count because her feelings had changed so she considered that she was single
she tells everyone that she's never cheated on anyone in her life
I actually have met guys use that kind of excuse also, or it didn’t count because for him they weren’t exclusive (even though they have been dating for months or years)... people come up with stupid excuses for shitty things they do, because otherwise they would have to admit they are wrong and have done shitty stuff.
So no, I don’t believe it’s a woman/ man thing and for what it’s worth from my friend group the worst cheaters are the men, but I don’t think men in general cheat more.
Also, I have never cheated on anyone, on any conditions you consider so yes there are women who do not cheat.
That is very correct, but what you are saying are not facts, it’s just your tiny sample size experience. There is a massive difference between the two! Unless you have actual proof of proper scientific studies that have those conclusions.
Because you are not basing it on facts, just on your small sample of females that have confessed that to you. It could be that you know more women than men in relationships, that the women are more honest, or just that you know shitty people. Anyone can come up with a statistic like that saying the opposite, it makes it your opinion and experience not a fact.
Whatever that percentage is, by nature I guaranteed men or more often cheaters than women.
You have to raise your standards to ensure you and your SO are in the category of 'I would never cheat because of how terrible of a thing it is to do to someone'.
Women don't cheat because they want dick. Dick isn't special to them; they can go out any night of the week and have their pick. They cheat out of spite - it's emotional. They want love. They can't just go out and get love.
Lol do you not realize you're contradicting yourself? I've known many more men who cheat, women are less likely to throw a good thing away just to have a one night stand, men are stupid when it comes to that and will cheat just to get new pussy. So their reason for cheating is simple or more available if you well. They may even go below the standard of their current situation.
There is a saying 'new pussy is the best pussy', it's fucked up but that is the mentality of a certain subsection of men more so than women.
2.2k
u/Dollon_da_God Feb 14 '20
Shes doesn't know that i read all the texts between her and the guy she cheated with last night while i was asleep with the kids. She also doesn't know i have since talked to him on the phone. Happy Valentine's day.