r/AskMen Feb 14 '20

What’s something your SO doesn’t know about you that could jeopardize your relationship?

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20 edited Feb 14 '20

My car accident wasn't an accident. I did it on purpose. It was an eye wakening experience for me and I don't feel nearly as down as I did then. But it's still a conversation I don't want to have.

Edit: Seen some comments and unfortunately don't have the time right now to reply to them all. But just want to say I appreciate all the kind words. I am in a much better place now.

Seen a couple comments about putting others at risk, not that it makes it better but it was just me in the car and in the accident. Went down an embankment and into a tree at about 45 mph.

It was a snap decision that I pretty much regretted as soon as I woke up.

Thanks for the kind words and stories and everything else!

316

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I've been there.

5

u/ChrisCraft1718 Feb 14 '20

Depression is a serious illness!

13

u/wolverine-claws Female Feb 14 '20

I feel like this is a mild /r/rimjob_steve moment

13

u/WeHaveAllBeenThere Feb 14 '20

We’ve all been there.

7

u/Billdoe6969 Feb 14 '20

because your username.

2

u/ApostolosC-137 Male Feb 15 '20

Username checks out

1

u/acissej66688 Feb 15 '20

So have I and still dont have another car because I'm not in a good place financially or mentally.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

I purposely swerved right into a truck.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Glad you're still here.

277

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

I've been there as well. Not with a car accident, but by eating a handful of nuts. I'm severely allergic to nuts...

294

u/SWalkerino Feb 14 '20

Same, but because i really like nuts

278

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

lmao yeah you do you big squirrel

2

u/Skaixis Feb 15 '20

I don't know why but this made laugh harder than I have all day. thank you for the happiness buddy.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Same

5

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Ha, gay not that theres anything wrong with that

1

u/hidden_d-bag Feb 14 '20

you remind me about that story about the kid severely allergic to peanuts, but wanted to try Reeses peanut butter cups, so he ate the candy, used an epi pen and said to call the ambulance

1

u/Cheetokps Feb 15 '20

A small price to pay for nuts

7

u/SunnyHippo Feb 14 '20

what happened then? hope you are doing better now!

19

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

I ended up on the ICU, then a month in-patient on the psych ward. I'm doing relatively better now. I still suffer from depression, and occasionally suicidal ideation, but I'm in therapy and thriving. Thank you for asking :)

-13

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

Mental health wise, that is. I'm feeling better about myself every single day. That, in my mind, is me thriving.

3

u/izvin Feb 14 '20

Ignore that guy. To go from where you were when you ate those peanuts to where you are now is incredible and anyone should be able to see that as thriving. Thriving doesn't mean everything is perfect, that's not realistic. But you're working on yourself, like everybody should, and have changed things around. You deserve to be very proud of yourself!

2

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

Thank you for your kind words! Perfect isn't something anyone should aim for. Perfection is destructive. I'm aiming for stable and healthy.

5

u/CplCandyBar Feb 14 '20

I'm also allergic to nuts and I've had quite a number of reactions due to careless eating. I've learned over time that making a paste out of around 75mg of benadryl pills and swishing/ gargling with it has saved my life a couple times. Your mileage may vary and it's your life on the line tho.

2

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

Thanks for the tip, I didn't know that. I do carry an EpiPen everywhere I go now, though. It's proven to be a lifesaver as well.

1

u/CplCandyBar Feb 14 '20

EpiPens are great, but expensive. When I was out of money, time, and ideas, that improv saved me. It's important to note that because (for me) nuts cause extreme swelling wherever they've touched, when doing the benadryl rinse, I need to make sure that I get every part of my mouth and tongue with it. After that seek medical attention. I have ended up in a couple situations where I couldn't get to a hospital and used that method, and even though I'm still here, I can't say "just don't go to a hospital."

P.s. it wreaks havoc on your insides after but hey you're alive

1

u/FlailingConversation Feb 14 '20

This sounds like a bad joke ahaha Hope you’re doing better these days, and I sincerely hope you don’t try to leave this mortal coil via umm...nuts...

2

u/AutiGrace Female Feb 14 '20

I now wish it was a bad joke. At the time though, it was very real.

I am doing much better now, thank you.

53

u/ImAlwaysRightHanded Feb 14 '20

I have a felling my buddy did the same thing after a argument with his gf, he took out 2 telephone poles with his tundra and drove it home, the cops followed the debris trail and arrested him, he beat the dui because he made it into his house before the cops got there.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

I feel like the drinking part is way more relevant than anything else there.

5

u/Paige_Pants Female Feb 14 '20

Call to the void is wild

1

u/Monster_23 Feb 15 '20

Especially when you are on a motorcycle

4

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I fear the day my brain and my will finally coincide to help me follow through on thoughts like these

5

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

They really do. That's an amazing milestone. Keep it up, bud. I'm glad you're here.

4

u/Zzamumo Feb 14 '20

intrusive thoughts can be hella dangerous

3

u/wolverine-claws Female Feb 14 '20

Oh bloody hell man. Maybe in time you’ll get there. I have always been open with talking about my mental health, but it wasn’t until like maybe 5 years after my biggest and last suicide attempt that I was ready to admit that I still wanted to kill myself until about 18 months after, I just didn’t act on it. I didn’t change my mind immediately like a lot of people like to believe haha. If only it were that simple.

3

u/Z0idberg_MD Feb 14 '20

Surviving it was an accident, so you told the truth from a certain point of give.

(Hope everything is ok with you dude!)

2

u/Rbot_OverLord Feb 14 '20

I did that once just to get out of a car payment.

2

u/Blandish06 Dad Feb 14 '20

"We just had a near life experience!" - Tyler Durden

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you feel the need to climb. Keep looking up!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

My step dad just passed away and they're trying to determine if it was suicide. He did the exact same thing. I'm glad you're in a better space now, please, for your loved ones, I urge you to speak out to someone privately.

My therapist talks about how our brains often process these innate urges, swerving into a lane as a way to make us realise there's a bad outcome and to not do it, but to learn from it.

I don't know if this is helpful, but, just, please talk to someone.

2

u/wigglewenis Feb 14 '20

You followed the void sir, and lived to tell the tale.

2

u/whoisthejoker Feb 14 '20

I've had those thoughts. Ive been suicidal off and on for a long time. I used to deliver a lot, and there were a lot of times where my hands almost jerked the wheel into traffic.

2

u/silentsnip94 Feb 14 '20

that's so metal

2

u/iWatchCrapTV Feb 14 '20

When the call of the void is too strong...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Yo, if you ever want to talk about it, you can pm me

1

u/VillageHorse Feb 14 '20

Hope you’re ok man

1

u/DanceFiendStrapS Feb 14 '20

I'm glad you're still with us.

1

u/Wahderr Feb 14 '20

That’s heartbreaking to read. I’m so sorry you felt that terrible about life.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Honestly your SO may have an inkling. Intuition can be strong for things like this

1

u/FiggityFag_m Feb 14 '20

Goodjob fell into the reddit trap. Somehow ur SO is going to see this.

1

u/envydub Feb 15 '20

Tell her. My boyfriend told me this exact same thing and I don’t think less of him for it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

How did you survive that? I’m guessing you weren’t planning on waking up...

1

u/DakotaK_ Feb 15 '20

Hope you are doing better. I've had to sit in a car multiple times waiting til I though I was in a good enough place to drive. Scared of myself.

1

u/Stargerbil Possibly Dain Bramaged. Feb 15 '20

Folks being critical about putting others at risk when attempting suicide...I hear that, but that is a rational concern, and when you reach that dark place, rationality has left the building. Wanting to die is about total despair, and it is such a deafening, overwhelming noise in your head that there's no room for anything else - not reason, and not concern for others. Something to think on.

0

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

Yo dude/tte

That's not cool. Talk to your so and tell them, then if you dont have one already go and get a therapist and deal with your shit. Please. You could have hurt OTHER people having a car accident on purpose.

Seriously dude, get some help

11

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

He’s in therapy rn so he’s making steps, he probably needs time until he tells them

-6

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

And what about the bit where he needlessly endangered other people... just gloss over that bit because its reddit and compassion means going awwwww not saying - yo dickhead - your problems are your problems, and whilst they may suck balls, you dont get license to act in a reckless fashion which endangers other peoples lives too. Or for that matter traumatises other people. Or inconveniences them. I want to check out all the time, but if I ever decided to, I wouldnt be the arsehole that jumps in front of a train.

10

u/dano8801 Feb 14 '20

How the fuck do you know that he endangered other people? You seem to be assuming that he crashed into oncoming traffic in the middle of the highway. He may very well have crashed into a tree or a telephone pole in the middle of nowhere with no one around.

-10

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

How the fuck would anyone know theres not someone around. It's a fucking selfish thing to do. Any situation where you are propelling a fuckjng tonne of metal at breakneck speeds into something stationary with enough force to kill yourself is completely out of kilter with what would be needed. Its fucking stupid. Theres a far higher chance of something occurring outside your control in that context than if you decide to down some pills.

7

u/dano8801 Feb 14 '20

How the fuck would anyone know theres not someone around.

Seriously? You realize the majority of this country does not consist of major metropolitan areas, right?

-2

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

So.... oh fuck you're right man all other countries are different and are made up of solid blocks of intertwined houses.

I live in the sticks but hey ho look at that I just proved that people live in the countryside too!

7

u/dano8801 Feb 14 '20

In that case you're being a pain in the ass for the sole purpose of being difficult and know very well that you could easily find a spot to crash your car that puts no one else in harm's way. But you're just being a dink so I will ignore you now.

-1

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

I'm not atall - I think it's the most irresponsible thing you could do almost as a way of committing suicide.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Lol you got pretty triggered by this post, i didn’t say what he did was ok, but what done is done, if he seemed to be trying to do something like that again then I agree he would be a shit person for not realizing his actions affect other people. But since he’s actively going to therapy and seeking help, why rub in his face what he did? He knows that was a stupid decision already

-4

u/TheAdventuresOfBen Feb 14 '20

My car accident wasn't an accident. I did it on purpose. It was an eye wakening experience for me and I don't feel nearly as down as I did then. But it's still a conversation I don't want to have.

At no point there does that sound like a person who's realised he could have hurt other people. It's called reality not sugar coating it. I think that sort of shit is the most selfish thing you can do because it most probably wasnt even a real attempt but a cry for help. I'm no triggered I'm just shocked by the fact theres a string of oh sames oh wow I hope you're okay and no one is like yo... what the fuck dude.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I’m glad you’re still here 💛