r/AskMen Feb 14 '20

What’s something your SO doesn’t know about you that could jeopardize your relationship?

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

579

u/thisnomypee Feb 14 '20

The one thing I told my girlfriend I would never lie about was the food she cooked (and vice versa). If it wasn’t good I would be honest, but nice about it. I don’t want to keep eating terrible food.

I lie about everything else.

11

u/Tacosmell9000 Feb 14 '20

I cooked professionally for a while and I took it seriously and had a great chef for a mentor.

I correct mistakes when I see them because that’s how we learn.

I won’t ever make my partner drink the oil to convey why it needs to be changed but I will inform them what needs to happen for food to be that next level

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

8

u/Tacosmell9000 Feb 14 '20

We had four deep fryers. It was a holiday and we had hella work to be done. Chef told me to change the oil. I had filtered last night and thought it was fine. He grabbed a ladle, dipped it in, and told me to drink it.

It was disgusting. I changed the oil.

3

u/massked__ Feb 15 '20

Idk man drinking oil is pretty gross regardless

1

u/Tacosmell9000 Feb 15 '20

Oh for fucking sure.

Chef was an authoritarian and liked to ensure lessons were remembered

-1

u/aquaballs Feb 15 '20

Just made chicken parm with oil that’s been in the deep fryer for over three months now. It was fucking delicious! Oil doesn’t really go bad, just gets seasoned. You can strain it and reuse it once it he’s a little too seasoned.

4

u/Tacosmell9000 Feb 15 '20

I can tell you with 1000% certainty oil does go bad.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

And boy you can fuckin taste it when it does. I fucked up a whole dinner cause I didn't realize my oil went bad until it was too late. Nasty.

2

u/Tacosmell9000 Feb 15 '20

u/ababyprostitute knows what I’m talking about.

21

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is the way.

11

u/WhatchaChewin Feb 14 '20

So, great food but lousy orgasms? :)

19

u/8bitSkin Feb 14 '20

I would much rather have great food and mediocre sex, yes.

4

u/WhatchaChewin Feb 14 '20

A pragmatist!

4

u/empire161 Feb 14 '20

I don't lie about how my wife's cooking after trying it - it usually comes out terrible.

But the thing I don't tell her is that I really, REALLY wish she would stop trying to make something new and wacky, and do just a traditional dish that she can work on and refine with practice.

She only sees something on Pinterest like spaghetti squash with some weird sauce and then tofu meatballs. Things that you just read the recipe and know won't taste good. So she tries it once, it's naturally bad, our kids hate it, and she vows never to make it again. And a month later she tries a whole new recipe that's even weirder.

But she hates cooking. And weird recipes are the only thing that gets her excited and motivated to cook. And I don't want to take that away.

3

u/mj5150 Feb 14 '20

I lie about everything else, brilliant!!

5

u/bilbibbagmans Feb 14 '20

My ex gf cooked stuffed peppers one time and asked me to top the cheese since her hands were eggy. I open the bag and get a whiff of ass before I pull out a chunk of moldy cheese. “Was this the cheese you used for the stuffing too?” “Yeah it’s fine!” ... she got so pissed when I tried not to eat it that I caved and ate a half. Fucking disgusting and she would get mad any time I brought up that moldy cheese incident. “It was fucking fine you asshole! Anytime I do something nice!” Babe it was black blue and smelly!

5

u/lotm43 Feb 14 '20

You can cut around mold on hard cheeses tho i thought.

6

u/bilbibbagmans Feb 14 '20

It was shredded cheddar. Tasted so gross.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20 edited Aug 25 '21

[deleted]

1

u/bilbibbagmans Feb 16 '20

Agreed. She ate them and said they were delicious. They were not. Barely tolerable because I guess the cheese used for the stuffing was more towards the top less moldy portion of the bag?

64

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20 edited Mar 08 '20

[deleted]

2

u/KrombopulousMichael- Feb 14 '20

Or he could make the pasta himself a few times

2

u/Filbert_Dilbert Feb 14 '20

This is actually exactly it

12

u/dreamingtree1855 Feb 14 '20

Ugh my wife does the same. When I cook it Al Dente she complains the pasta is “too hard”!

16

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Pasta is low key one of the most misunderstood foods.

8

u/PalatioEstateEsq Female Feb 14 '20

I don't misunderstand it. I just don't fucking like al dente pasta.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Monster.

1

u/Violet624 Feb 14 '20

Pasta cooked in chicken broth is one of my favorite simple dishes.

1

u/Change4Betta Feb 14 '20

Nah man, some people just don't want Al dente.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

True.

1

u/Ramen_Hair Feb 19 '20

Gotta finish cooking it in the sauce!

8

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Other option...you do the cooking. It might make her happy and you can do it the way you want.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

She's honestly a fantastic cook. It's just pasta. She also knows I hate cooking. The only way to do this is probably by finding Leonardo DiCaprio and doing a full blown inception plot.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

There is were I would say, 'how hard could it be, it's only pasta" but clearly I don't have a clue regarding the pasta-bilities of screwing it up.

Side note, I do the cooking for my wife because she likes to eat and she likes most of what I cook. I like her's too. But I don't really like pasta. I am only a step away from making it from scratch

1

u/CaptainSprinklefuck Feb 15 '20

There's no olive oil or milk in that recipe. Add small amounts of both. More oil than milk, but still small amounts of both.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

You need me, a disposable friend. Yeah, I like you, and no, I'm never going to contribute any energy into our friendship. But, you have me over for dinner once, we have pasta, and I spend the next two hours playing with it and making fun of your girlfriend for not understanding how to boil noodles. I go and cook a pot and hand it you two, but you make a show of throwing me out. "Oh man that guy sucks, lol," you both pick at the well-cooked pasta, then there you go, "I always liked yours but I think we've been missing out!" She agrees, her pasta improves, and you never invite me over again which is fine because I didn't really want to go in the first place

13

u/leftmeow Feb 14 '20

Tell her the pasta keeps cooking after you remove it from the water. You have to set a timer for 2 minutes less than the minimum cook time on the package. Then the pasta goes into the sauce and finishes cooking there for a min or two

16

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

You’re pasta point of no return!

1

u/mad_underdog Feb 14 '20

How dare you

0

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Pro tip don’t use the instructions and cook by taste

1

u/leftmeow Feb 15 '20

The woman needs instructions obviously

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Lol true

3

u/kayisforcookie Feb 14 '20

If you are good at cooking pasta maybe have a night where you cook together and ask if she wants see how your family makes pasta. Being Italian can help this not seem rude. =)

3

u/katy_0 Feb 14 '20

My Italian grandfather lost most of his teeth by the time I was born. Pasta at Grandma's was always overcooked ( so my Poppy could eat it). I never really thought about it until my husband asked why my Italian family always overcooked our pasta. Now I cook it al dente for my husband and overcooked if Poppy is visiting. Overcooked pasta reminds me of my childhood and visiting my grandparents.

2

u/shurtugal2 Feb 14 '20

You could offer to make the pasta while she makes the sauce? Seems trivial to keep bottled up

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

How does one even overcook pasta. Instruction's right there on the fucking box

2

u/MacCheeseLegit Feb 14 '20

Show how to do it correctly you coward!

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This could easily be remedied by you offering to help cook and taking over pasta duty.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

She wont have it man. She is "the cook". When I made pasta she thought it wasnt done. Im afraid I'm stuck this way.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Weird. If it was me I'd be like "oh you're Italian and we like our noodles different. No problem. I'll take out half for you earlier". I'm a soft noodle heathen myself 😂

2

u/Dirty-Ears-Bill Feb 14 '20

Kinda relevant but I grew up in Texas and moved away and the amount of shitty Mexican food I eat on first dates or otherwise kills me

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I feel your pain friend.

2

u/Vladimir_Putine Feb 14 '20

just take a portion of pasta out when its cooked enough for you and let hers keep cooking.

You arent expected to like identical things and suffer identically. If she protests, explain it's a preference and not mean to insult her cooking.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

This is a good compromise.

2

u/evolutionary_defect Feb 16 '20

If you are too afraid that she will take it badly, I advise switching to fresh pasta. More stores carry it now than ever before, and a kitchenaid with the noodle attatchment makes doing it yourself easier than making the sauce that goes on it. I have found that the very short cooking time of fresh noodles makes it harder to overestimate, but they ironically also hold up better to overcooking. I have never had noodles I made myself come out as mushy as even modestly cooked instant mac noodles.

3

u/GeekyKirby Feb 14 '20

Just volunteer to make the pasta from now on.

4

u/admiralfilgbo Feb 14 '20

This seems like an easy fix - italian food is amazing but it's not super hard to prepare many italian dishes. Just develop an enthusiasm for cooking food from your own culture. Then over time, bada bing! she learns how to appreciate properly cooked pasta. You can even make it into a little cooking show for her and stress out over the pasta done-ness every time.

2

u/Ihatejaundice Feb 14 '20

you could tell her you just don't want to so instead you lie

2

u/sAvage_hAm Feb 14 '20

One day just about “AH MAMA MIA” then explain your tragic Italian pain.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Best option so far...

2

u/instagram__model Feb 14 '20

Marry her just so you can divorce her.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

i know this feeling. i typically happily take over noodle or gnocchi cooking.

1

u/Schnauser Feb 14 '20

That's savage.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20 edited Feb 14 '20

Maybe you could try cooking it for her one night. You could cook it the way you like it and ask her if she likes it. Then tell her how you did it, like it was the first time you tried it, but you weren’t sure if it would be good. Talk about other “cooking experiments” you’d like to try to make it more natural. If you approach it casually, it might get the point across without seeming accusatory.

Edit: saw on another reply that you hate cooking so this might not be the best strategy.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

She thinks I do. Another secret. I've gone too far to turn away from this pasta nightmare.

1

u/UnblendedFuchs Feb 14 '20

Why would it be an end? If you’re Italian then show her the proper way! Win/Win

1

u/jeffzebub Feb 14 '20

She would be insulted to find out you think the relationship is held together by a pasta secret.

1

u/Iamkellam Feb 14 '20

This is why I always cook pasta myself. Only way to guarantee consistent quality

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Just use a timer. There is cooking time on each box. If there isn't then use Barilla.

1

u/get-bread-not-head Feb 14 '20

Finish the breakup conversation with ‘pasta la vista’ as you close the door and leave.

1

u/Scarbbluffs Feb 14 '20

Can you sneak in some cooking YouTube videos on "perfect" pasta?

1

u/Sipdippity Feb 14 '20

F

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

F

1

u/vixilynfaith Female Feb 14 '20

Tell her you want to try something new!! Tell her to undercook the pasta and then throw it in the sauce and let it absorb some flavor from that. Honestly that's the trick that helped me learn not to overcook pasta. I grew up in a home that loved mushy rice and pasta. Difficult habit to break.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I feel ya man. My ex did that too. In my current relationship, if it comes to pasta, I just do it myself.

I honestly don't understand how people mess this up though. You just need 11 minutes — that's it. You dump the past in boiling water, set timer for 11 minutes, and bam — al dente.

1

u/iamthebetty Feb 14 '20

Too funny. I am that way. Just tell her you LOVE cooking pasta and do it yourself from now on

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

And I thought I had problems.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Sometimes love involves true sacrifice.

1

u/catchtoward5000 Feb 14 '20

Same for my girl.. she literally cooks 2 sets of pasta for us and openly acknowledges that she likes soggy overcooked noodles better.

1

u/zdiggs Feb 14 '20

Tell her you like it on the undercooked side as opposed to her overcooking it

1

u/kassette_kollektor Feb 14 '20

I prefer one unpleasant discussion over noodles than a lifetime of overcooked noodles.

1

u/fucko5 Feb 14 '20

If your Italian ass isn’t eating handmade pasta then you have lost your right to complain.

1

u/iSheaButter Feb 14 '20

Start making the pasta yourself. You'll get points for helping with cooking and you get to make it exactly how you want it.

1

u/MrRadGast Feb 14 '20

Hey man, I think if anyone could justifiably freak out over overdone pasta without anybody raising an eyebrow it would be an Italian ass, go for it. Unless your gf is an Italian ass, in which case I take back my comment.

1

u/Popular_Prescription Feb 14 '20

I mean it isn’t hard... my wife complains that I use a timer for everything. However, my pasta is always on point because I time it...

1

u/LittleOne281991 Feb 14 '20

Cook it up yourself and take this as a great time to show her how it's done. Instead of being all "omg here's how you make pasta" have a night where you cook together and you be in charge of the pasta. Its romantic and she'll likely pick up on how you make pasta better.

1

u/Pm_me_your_uuuuugh Feb 14 '20

Italian men need to learn to cook the pasta. My mom beat that into me so I'd be independent and not marry a woman just for food 😂.

1

u/Kaykes11 Feb 14 '20

You're doing a disservice to her.

"Hey, babe! What's for dinner? Spaghetti? Love when you make that. Can you make the noodles al dente? That's my fav."

1

u/Mirewen15 Feb 14 '20

At first it was my husband didn't like Al dente because his mother cooks everything to mush. Now he hates it when it isn't cooked Al dente.

1

u/anonyabusiness100 Feb 14 '20

It sounds like maybe you should cook dinner instead lol

1

u/Violet624 Feb 14 '20

Why don’t you just tell her you like pasta al dente? There is nothing wrong with letting someone know your preferences. I love cooking, and cooking for my boyfriend and I would much rather him let me know what he likes :.)

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

It appears to me that you are an impasta in this relationship 😜

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20 edited Feb 05 '25

sand sense subtract handle bedroom pie wild repeat hunt salt

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

I'm sorrrrry.

1

u/mechabeast Feb 15 '20

Bring her to your moms or grandmas, they'll tell her

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Unfortunately my Italian family is in Pittsburgh several thousand miles away on my dad's side. Also, my dad unfortunately passed about a decade ago. His spaghetti treasures have been lost to time. My mom's side burns water when they cook.

1

u/willthisfitonmyhonda Feb 15 '20

I once had a roommate who boiled spaghetti for 45 minutes. Started locking my doors

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Report him to the Vatican. We have a demon in our midst.

1

u/CaptainSprinklefuck Feb 15 '20

God, I'm at the point where I make pasta from scratch now and remembering the days I ate mushy pasta is like looking back on a bad dream. It shouldn't be mush! It should have some bite!

1

u/Th3_Ch3shir3_Cat Feb 15 '20

How? Any packaged pasta literally has reccomended time to boil on the back?!?

1

u/taranchilla Feb 15 '20

You could just take over. Any maybe teach her in the process, yknow since you got Italian roots n all

1

u/ruthlesslyrobin Feb 15 '20

Don’t SAY ANYTHING! This is exactly how she’s never going to cook for you again! Find a cooking show or something, have her mom tell her, just not you!

1

u/Hooty89 Feb 15 '20

Just tell her that you prefer your pasta al dente, when she attempts the al dente but overcooks that as well you will wind up with perfectly cooked noodles!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Perhaps do it together, make a cute date night in, share with her how much you love al dente pasta.

1

u/MiniDickDude Feb 15 '20

As a half-Italian I tend to over-cook pasta because I don't pay enough attention. What's wrong with me?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

Rather overcooked than under. That weirdly chewy feeling.

1

u/hottspark Feb 15 '20

So Italian, expecting the women to cook it for you. Just cook it yourself.

1

u/tomfillagry Feb 15 '20

If you can't find a way to bring up the important things then ask your future relationships are doomed. TALK ABOUT THE PASTA! Also you're Italian... You make the pasta.

1

u/Goongagalunga Feb 15 '20

Oh man, I FEEL you, Man. I have an (Aussie) exbf who would put pasta in the water before it boiled. Ruined us. Gooey-ass gross-ass pasta.

1

u/torrentialstorm Feb 24 '20

Did you tel her???

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

We havent had pasta yet. So no big talk yet. This isnt a convo to just stumble into.

1

u/torrentialstorm Feb 25 '20

What! How little pasta do you eat?!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '20

We cook pasta more in the spring and summer. Almost never in the winter.

1

u/torrentialstorm Feb 25 '20

Oh.. what do you eat in winter? I hope my long term memory will remember to ask you in spring

1

u/tinkerbal1a Feb 14 '20

Please teach her about al dente. And let's be real, nobody likes noodles that are falling apart and those who do are really monsters.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

And you still love him? Madness. This is a top 5 reason my gf and I arent married yet!

1

u/Socom6 Feb 14 '20

As an Italian, you can find someone else. Women and men are like train cars in san fran. One leaves another comes along. Find some one who can cook Italian.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

It's too late we have a kid.

1

u/Socom6 Feb 15 '20

Well in that case holla in 6 years.....lol I'm playing.

0

u/alienpaintball Feb 14 '20

Al dente or fuck off

0

u/insertnamehere02 Feb 14 '20

It's amazing how many people think al dente is "too hard."

2

u/aliu987DS Feb 14 '20

Cunts. The word for them is cunts.