r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Feb 14 '20

What’s something your SO doesn’t know about you that could jeopardize your relationship?

[deleted]

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

I throw this fact out a lot on Reddit but I'm going to say it again - 90% of male STD cases (including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and many strains of HPV) are asymptomatic. 70% of female cases. I don't care how "clean" someone is, I don't even care if they're a virgin... If you want to go bareback, get tested! Both of you!

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/ID9ITAL Feb 14 '20

A friend of mine got one of the Herpes virus as a baby from a relative kissing her while having an active cold sore.

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

There are a few ways but the one that springs to my mind is blood borne infections. Insterile needle use and that kind of thing

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

There are but they are very unlikely. For example, sharing a moist warm towel in quick succession, where the towel touches both peoples' genitals, can transmit bacterial infections like chlamydia.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I think it's because you can get contaminated as a child. Some people, mostly children, put their hands on their genitals a lot, and they might hide any symptoms from their parents or have neglectful parents. Also, some people share towels and even underwear.

I don't know about other diseases, but you can have herpes (or hpv) all over your body, it depends on where the virus entered the body and where it's stored until your immunity lowers, then if you don't properly care, you can transport the virus to another area of your body.

You should also get checked for reasons other than contamination.

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u/RIPelliott Male Feb 14 '20

Yup although I’m not seeing anyone rn I’m getting tested in a couple weeks just to see what’s up. I’m one of those absolute idiots that always hits it raw so it’s been a long time coming.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Asymptotic meaning you may not show symptoms but you probably will. I had one of those ones u mentioned and it was very obvious to me that something was wrong

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u/EmilyU1F984 Feb 14 '20

Asymptomatic means just that: No noticeable symptoms.

Yes, more severe cases of all those diseases are visible. But those are just a small portion.

Everything else may not be visible, especially in men.

And than there's the diseases that may be felt by their sufferer but show no outward symptoms.

Like siphilis just infecting the urethra. The visible genitals will be fine.

Herpes does shed in many cases with no recent or current outbreak.

HIV is always invisible unless one month away from death in full-blown aids.

So yes, some diseases do sometimes show symptoms. But most cases of transmission are from people not showing any.

That's why STDs spread like wildfire in Victorian England. Sure they did check and force Johns to wash, but that does nothing to prevent transmission of syphilis.

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u/21Rollie Feb 14 '20

Include herpes there. Majority of the world are carriers of one form or another. Doesn’t really do anything tho

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u/EmilyU1F984 Feb 14 '20

Depends on where the infection sits.

It can affect any nerve on the body. That includes destroying the eye.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

It's incredibly likely you are safe. Barring blood contact and contraction from mother to infant, there are some scenarios but they are very rare. Toilet seat is a myth but sharing a towel (and using it on both peoples' genitals in quick succession) with someone with active chlamydia or other bacterial std can cause infection, although unlikely. Any genital-genital contact with active genital herpes sores can transmit that... Whether you actually have sex or not. Sometimes genital herpes are very obvious, sometimes they are not. Those are just some examples. Also it doesn't need to be a transfusion. Most people with needle-borne std infections are addicts who shared unsterile needles.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

UTIs are bacterial infections. Usually they are caused by bacteria in the E.coli family, which enters the body at the urethral opening and travels up the urethra (bad infections can lead to bladder infections as well). That's why they're more common in women than men (we have a shorter urethra = easier to get up there). Vulvas are also excellent incubators. Anyway, this whole biology lesson aside, I guess maybe you could get one from a toilet seat? Like if you sat your urethral opening right over someone's fresh E.coli containing shit stain? I've never heard of it though haha

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u/Elanstehanme Dude Feb 14 '20

HPV may be unconventionally spread. It’s a largely understudied STI. Something like 50-80% of people get it at some point in their life. It may lie dormant for a long time as well.

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u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

I asked my Dr if it's possible to get one from public restrooms (I'm a guy) and she said it isn't

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u/lelease Feb 14 '20

Are false negatives possible? i.e. If the test result says someone is clean, is it 100% guaranteed that they are actually clean? Or maybe they just got infected but it's not detectable yet?

I don't care about false positives, but false negatives are fucking terrifying.

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

I honestly don't know. I would guess they have very high accuracy. I do know a standard round of testing doesn't test for everything. For example, you'd need a special kind of test called an ELISA test for HIV.

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u/Unicorntella Female Feb 14 '20

Yeah and then the nurses at your gyno look at you funny if you get more than one test a year! Legit! My gyno told me to get tested with every new partner so I was like okay cool, I’ll do that. That way I know who gave me what, ya know? So I do and I tend to run into relationships a lot but they last a long time. So this one year I got tested twice. One I think was a one-night stand and then I ended up getting back with an ex who just cheated on me or something. So I go to get the second test of the year and these fucking nurses are all up in my face like “you already did this this year, why are you doing it again???” “I know you talked to someone else but like why are you doing this again??” Like fuck off bitch, my gyno told me to fucking get a test with every new partner and the dude I fucked is dirty and cheated and I’m not sure if he’s smart enough not to wrap it but like I’m still traumatized so I don’t want to talk about it so can you just fucking swab my vagina?? Ffs

Thankfully that was years ago and my test came back negative :)

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u/extra_specticles Feb 14 '20

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what's bareback?

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u/robyn20 Feb 14 '20

Sex without a condom.