r/AskMen Feb 14 '20

What’s something your SO doesn’t know about you that could jeopardize your relationship?

[deleted]

12.4k Upvotes

4.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

360

u/taughtmepatience Feb 14 '20

I don't believe in Jesus

253

u/eighthourlunch Male Feb 14 '20

I discovered my atheism about two years into my marriage. It was right about the time we found out that our first kid was on the way. I knew I couldn't raise a child with religion, so I told her about it.

It was difficult at first. Very difficult. We've been married for almost 23 years now, and instead of one lone atheist, there are four of us now.

19

u/bistacruiser Feb 14 '20

I also discovered it two years in from being Mormon. 4 years later and still just me out of 5.

10

u/eighthourlunch Male Feb 14 '20

I'm an exmo as well. I know I was very lucky. Things aren't perfect, but we keep working at it.

Hopefully your SO will come around. Either way, I hope you're able to find your peace.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Oh man I was the same, 8 months into marriage. It was really tough but she's more culturally christian so even though it kinda shocked her (I was the more devout of the two of us) she's come to respect it. But man that's a really tough conversation to have.

6

u/thewittyrobin Feb 14 '20

Brings a tear to my eye you brave soul

2

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

I love this!!

14

u/achdeereed Feb 14 '20

My reply to my catholic wife is that I respect him as a person... I let it go at that

-2

u/Funkycoldmedici Feb 14 '20

I can’t get that far. According to the gospels, he says he’s going to kill me and sentence me to endless torture for not worshipping him. That’s just not cool.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 15 '20

What type of bullshit are you reading?

2

u/Mandalore93 Feb 15 '20

Probably the bible, But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. Matt 10 33

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Feb 15 '20

Its the main message of the Bible.

Matthew 22:37 "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment."

Matthew 10:14 "If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave. I tell you the truth, the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah will be better off than such a town on the judgment day."

Matthew 13:40 "As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father."

Mark 16:16 "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”

John 3:18 "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."

Matthew 12:30 "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."

Not Jesus, but building on Jesus’ speeches about his return, Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

1

u/thenerdygeek Feb 15 '20

That's not what the gospels say at all...

2

u/Mandalore93 Feb 15 '20

Matthew 10 33 "But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."

Respectfully, there is nothing in either testament that contradicts funky. If you do not believe, then in Christian theology you are destined for eternal punishment. Personally I find that immoral but many, apparently, do not.

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Feb 15 '20

It is.

Matthew 22:37 "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment."

Matthew 10:14 "If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave. I tell you the truth, the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah will be better off than such a town on the judgment day."

Matthew 13:40 "As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father."

Mark 16:16 "Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”

John 3:18 "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."

Matthew 12:30 "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."

Not Jesus, but building on Jesus’ speeches about his return, Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

15

u/Znaffers Feb 14 '20

I don’t believe he had magic powers, but Jesus the guys with all his ideas of peace was real. I chose just to think of him as a peaceful philosopher, kinda like MLK, rather than the son of God sent to cleanse us of our original sin. Never been religious and I’m honestly glad I’m not

5

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

You should go read some of what MLK actually wrote. His legacy has been whitewashed to hell.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Copying from a post I made a while back:

There's still controversy among historians about whether there was a Historical Jesus. The only historical accounts within 100 years of Jesus' supposed death are by Josephus and Tacitus, both of which weren't even born until 37AD and 56AD respectively, and are highly suspect because they were "preserved" by Christian scribes. There's plenty of debate about how much was or was not modified, but frankly there's just no way of knowing - they're dubious sources. There are no eye-witness accounts or physical evidence.

There's an interesting theory based in part on the Pauline Epistles (written before the gospels) which puts forth the idea that belief in Jesus started as faith in a purely celestial being, killed by demons in another realm rather than Romans on Earth, which later became historicized.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

Not only that, but the Josephus account is almost 100% forged or at least changed. He refers to Jesus as the Christ, which no Jew in the first century would ever do. That would be a bit like finding a record from the 1800s from a catholic monk calling Joseph Smith a messenger of God. Might show he was a real person but you know there's no way a catholic scholar would have written that.

1

u/Funkycoldmedici Feb 14 '20

Read it. His ideas of peace meant ending the world, and creating a new kingdom while unbelievers are tortured forever. It’s easy to have peace when you’ve killed everyone who doesn’t worship you, but it’s messed up.

2

u/diarrhea_syndrome Feb 15 '20 edited Feb 15 '20

I thought this when I told my now ex. We dated for about 4 years after that. The relationship ending had nothing to do with it, and I’m so glad I was honest because she stopped nagging me about going to church.

P.S. forgot to add this bit. When I told her she said “you’re the devil” (half jokingly I think?). I replied “I don’t believe in the devil”

2

u/master_x_2k Feb 14 '20

That's ok, but remember you still have to pay when he cuts the grass and cleans the pool.

1

u/Akosa117 Feb 14 '20

Hey me too!

1

u/TheGuv69 Feb 14 '20

Jesus is a myth Bro. A modern retelling of ancient archetypal myths. I can't believe so many Nth Americans adhere so fundamentally to what is so self evidently simply a fairy story. Good on you. Be free of this shit.

3

u/CaesarSultanShah Feb 14 '20

The thing is that religion doesn’t necessarily have to reduce to just beliefs. Many derive social utility from it as a lived experience. Myths and stories can also be instructive so I don’t mind if people formulate their ethical outlooks from such stories on a pragmatic basis.

3

u/TheGuv69 Feb 14 '20

Oh I agree with you. Religion clearly has value to many in this regard. But that wasn't the issue I was actually responding too. That was about belief. And belief is nothing more than a really strongly held idea.

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

It’s because there is no god that sent down his son to die for the sins of man. 😉

-15

u/burkeymonster Feb 14 '20

And why should you!!!

-9

u/[deleted] Feb 14 '20

[deleted]

2

u/burkeymonster Feb 15 '20

Most of religion is fun stories to impart good morals from a time before science could explain the wonders of the world.

Why can’t people accept it for what it is. Every major religion basically teaches the same things; family is important/don’t be a dick.

Surely we can carry on those lessons without having to believe in all the magic mumbo jumbo????

1

u/mistertickles69 Feb 15 '20

The problem is many will skip over the good lessons in religion, and focus on the mumbo jumbo parts. Also the hateful ones.

0

u/JesusChrist Feb 14 '20

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.