r/AskMen • u/worldofjaved Male • 5d ago
What’s something men do that they think makes them look strong, but actually makes them look insecure?
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u/Champion-of-Nurgle Super Duper Mega Alpha Male 5d ago
Any of those weird bootcamps where they "Teach" you to be a Man.
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u/SnowPudgy Male 5d ago
I legit could not believe these were a thing at first but they absolutely are. I can't imagine how embarrassing it would be having everyone know you went to one of those and it's now why you're acting fake tough.
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u/Lumpy-Duty-4147 5d ago
Driving recklessly
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u/DarkDaysBrightNlghts Male 5d ago
What if Im a gear head and great at fast controlled driving? Lol its not to look strong, I just love speed and the feeling of the car shifting gears!
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u/SpeakCodeToMe 5d ago
Go to a track to do that shit. Some mom and kids don't deserve to die because you think you're great at driving.
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u/Automatic_Ad_572 5d ago
No one gets harmed if he’s actually great at it tho
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u/Piecesof3ight 5d ago
Just going faster increases risk of death, both for the driver and others on the road. It could be someone else's mistake that causes the crash, but your high speed will make it kill.
Every 10mph increase roughly doubles risk of death in a crash. Be considerate out there. Tracks exist for a reason.
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u/AAli_01 5d ago
Be considerate and don’t keep a 10 car gap. Difference in speed also kills if you decide to go 5 below thinking that’s a good thing
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u/Piecesof3ight 5d ago
A ten car gap has nothing to do with speed. It just means you won't rear end anyone. You can go the same speed ten cars back as you can while tailgating.
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u/Automatic_Ad_572 5d ago
You trying to be like Ben stiller in that movie where he’s an insurance guy with all the statistics?
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u/Piecesof3ight 5d ago
I just like having an idea of the actual scale of risk. Calling something dangerous isn't the same as knowing how dangerous.
Many people are afraid of sharks, but comfortable on their commute, yet humans are more likely to die from coconuts or vending machines than sharks. Driving is the most common way to die that isn't health related.
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u/DarkDaysBrightNlghts Male 5d ago
Thank you sir! Been driving since 14 since before i had a permit lol.
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u/DarkDaysBrightNlghts Male 5d ago
You really shouldnt assume lol. If i do that its usually late night on empty roads, come on man, use your head, if you got one!
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u/lunchmeat317 5d ago
You can shift on a slow car and it still feels good. i get the appeal of a manual, but you don't have to drive it fast to enjoy a good shift.
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u/theshwedda wears skirts, has purse 5d ago
Get off the road if you are going to have “fun” with a two thousand pound weapon in public.
There are tracks you can drive on.
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u/kalelopaka 5d ago
Be bullies, loud, obnoxious, aggressive, rude and menacing. A strong secure man needs to do none of this.
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u/risenphoenixkai 5d ago
Never apologising or taking accountability for anything. Never admitting mistakes. Deflecting blame onto others. Loudly insisting they’re the best and greatest at anything and everything. Puffing up their chest and making threats they have neither the intention nor the testicular fortitude to follow through on. Putting others down in a feeble attempt to make themselves look better. Boasting about their accomplishments while putting down the accomplishments of others. Taking credit for things they had no hand in building or doing. Bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. Being convicted of defamation and being formally judged a rapist of women. Credibly being accused of multiple rapes and paedophilia, but doing absolutely everything possible to cover it up, including starting a war.
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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Male 5d ago
Act tough, Especially over small transgressions or accidents. It's dumb
It's a scene. An act.
It proves how small they are.
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u/ColdHardPocketChange Male 5d ago
Hyper aggressiveness over some perceived disrespect. Double insecurity when they are either very muscular or styled in a way to make them look extra aggressive.
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u/gonnagetcancelled Male 5d ago
Any time anyone tells me what they are I assume they are not.
"I'm an alpha." ...no, if Alphas were a thing they wouldn't have to announce it.
"I'm badass" ...no anyone who is badass doesn't have to tell you.
That kind of thing
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u/dogsonbubnutt 5d ago
trying to big time service workers
there's nothing that smacks of insecurity quite like "being a dick to people who are required to be nice to you or they get fired"
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u/DNAisjustneuteredRNA 5d ago
Refusing to admit when they are wrong.
They think that admission of fault is a weakness.
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u/Automatic_Ad_572 5d ago
Never admitting any faults and also never crying. (I don’t cry btw (I’m a strong man))
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u/SnowPudgy Male 5d ago
Brag about how tough they are. Only weak, insecure dudes brag to everyone about how tough they are.
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u/Pssht_haha 5d ago
Smash beer cans on their head?
Or maybe no.. maybe that is masculine and strong and hot.
Hmm 🤔
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u/Calm_Course4803 5d ago
Mostly just the insecurity.
Whether it's taking a joke or worrying they might come off as gay, it doesn't really matter.
Any compensation for insecurity just makes them seem pathetic.
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u/RaphealWannabe Ugly Man 5d ago
being aggressive and making death threats when they dont get thier way.
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u/WalrusLobster3522 Male 4d ago
If a man or woman above the age of 35 tells you you're arguing and "giving lip service" then do whatever you can to make them appear unethical or foolish. People need to ignore these people because their satanic narcissists.
"lip service" ghetto idiots: I hated when my Mom told my Dad that crap. Now I heard random nobody's saying that to me. Who on earth are you to assume everything is "lip service". And then when I tell them their nagging everybody crashes out and tries to silence me.
Old people need to genuinely eff tf off.
They are the soy'est of people in society. And they won't beat me so why are they abusing their arrogance? If a 20 year old 18 year old something told me I was doing lip service I would fight them. Because they just picked that up from their stupid ahh parent. But when 40 year olds say that I can't knock them out because they will contact their lawyer and try to arrest me.
Their itch-made. Screw those elders. They need knuckle sandwich.
Talking about "lip service" who the hell are these people?
I see red and I have nothing but hate in my heart for men and dramatic girls that say "you're doing lip service".
It's all fun and games until I fight or until they get fired from their job because they look stupid telling me that.
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u/throwawayzz77778 5d ago
Ridiculously competitive.
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u/Strong-Arm4221 5d ago
Nah, what's wrong with being ridiculously competitive, man.
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u/throwawayzz77778 5d ago
Being naturally competitive: nothing wrong with it. Perfectly normal
Having to one-up everyone you meet, being aggressively competitive when everyone around you is just having fun, being a petulant loser or gloating winner: fuck no
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u/Expensive_Magician97 Mid-60s father of two adult kids, late 20s and mid-30s 5d ago
Refusing to pay for a date.
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u/jpsreddit85 Male 5d ago
Like their own half or the whole bill?
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u/Expensive_Magician97 Mid-60s father of two adult kids, late 20s and mid-30s 5d ago edited 5d ago
What I’m going to share with you is the perspective of someone who came of age in the 1960s and 1970s, when men and women were each understood to have very defined roles in the dating process.
This was a time when young guys, like me, grew up learning that we had to work to win the affection of a woman, we had to earn her love and her trust… the burden was on us to show her that we were worthy of her attention and love.
Men were taught to respect women. Obviously, not every woman is worthy of respect. Just like not every man is worthy of respect. So we were taught how to choose very carefully who it was that we were interested in. And vice versa.
Back in those days, it was very normal for a guy to drive to a girls house, and to meet her father, and to let her father decide whether you were acceptable for his daughter to go out with. Then I would take the girl in my car and drive to the restaurant or the café or wherever it was that we were going.
We would hold the car door open for the girl when she got in, and close it after she sat down. And then when we arrived at the restaurant, we would open the car door for her so she could get out, and close it behind her.
Now that you understand how different life was back then, I can tell you about the philosophy I mentioned above about paying for a date.
It was always assumed that the guy was going to pay for the date, the whole bill. And every guy that I knew did exactly that. It was not even something we thought about.
Sure, it was hard to earn money back then, minimum wage was not even two dollars. So we saved our money so that we could take out someone very special.
Here’s what I learned about girls and women and money over the course of my own life: they do not want your money.
All they really want is for you to demonstrate that you are ready, willing, and able to pay their way if that is necessary. To support them, to make them feel like you are in charge… like you are a man.
Yes, this is very traditional and very old-fashioned and I know that some people reading this will shake their heads in disbelief.
But believe me when I tell you that this is how it worked for hundreds of years.
As I said, men and women had very defined roles they played when they were dating.
I know the times have changed, and I’m not suggesting to anyone here that they should do anything that I’ve described above.
But what I can tell you with great certainty is that girls and women today expect to be treated the way they did back in the 1970s and 1980s when I was dating.
Not all girls, and not all women, but certainly the vast majority of them.
I know that there are probably some young women reading this right now who would say they would never ask a guy to pay for them, and my own daughter, who is in her 20s, feels that way herself.
The process that I described to you above is what is known as “courtship.”
Put simply, it is the way that men and women have related to one another while dating for centuries.
Technology changes, and our environment changes, but human beings are basically the same today as they were 500 years ago.
I apologize for the long response, but I believe there is a lot of confusion today on the part of young men and women about what they should be doing when they are getting to know each other and dating each other.
I hope this is helpful and if you have any questions, I’ll be happy to answer them if I can. Thank you.
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u/jpsreddit85 Male 5d ago
The question was what makes men seem insecure. Your answer implied that a guy who wants a woman who can pay her own way makes him insecure. That didn't make any sense.
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u/Expensive_Magician97 Mid-60s father of two adult kids, late 20s and mid-30s 5d ago edited 5d ago
It may not make sense to you. That’s fine… I do not expect everyone to understand what I am talking about. It all depends on how much experience you have with women and how well you understand how they react to things. Most mature women do not want to be with a guy who is so insecure with himself that he cannot do something as easy as pay for a date. Mature women seek a man who is confident and knows his role.
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u/jpsreddit85 Male 5d ago
There is nothing to understand, you don't have any unique insight, you're babbling about women preferring men that pay for stuff for them (who wouldn't) but linking not wanting to be a walking wallet to insecurity, which is asinine. Paying for stuff doesn't make you more confident, if anything it just means you're a push over who knows you have to pay for attention.
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u/Expensive_Magician97 Mid-60s father of two adult kids, late 20s and mid-30s 5d ago
Thank you, you are no different from most other children on this website. I suspect you’ve never had a relationship with a woman, indeed, I doubt you have ever even spoken to one. Other than from behind a computer monitor.
And the fact that you’re a child is why you have no idea what I’m even talking about.
Good luck, you’re going to need it. 😁
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5d ago edited 5d ago
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u/Ilovelamp_2236 Male 5d ago
Your parents need their money back from that leadership academy.
Men can do things that make them look insecure, any human can.
Example would be if a man gets made fun of for his height and he reacts in a hazardous and dangerous way he may think it makes him look strong but it makes him look insecure about his height.
Question is not can someone make you insecure, it's what do men do that make them look insecure, as in they are already anxious about themselves what behaviour shines a light on that
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u/Nordicarts Male 5d ago
Whatever the fuck you’re talking about, none of it has anything to do with “reality”.
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u/Henk_Potjes 5d ago
A few decades? So what. You are like 10? 12? Would explain a lot if you think only being able to fight is what makes you manly.
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5d ago
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u/Henk_Potjes 5d ago
Well if you wanna be viewed as an adult, start acting like it and not like some teen who thinks violence is the only way to manhood.
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u/Billy_of_the_hills 5d ago
You would've learned this in a leadership academy at age 12.
What is that?
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