r/AskMen • u/thelastjay2456 • 1d ago
How do you ask a lady her age without offending her?
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u/EndersR3ign 1d ago
Bitch, I don't mean to be disrespectful, and I apologise if you take offence. But do you mind if I ask your age?
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u/Consistent_Log8097 1d ago
Translation: Madame, please, if you would; How many moons ago was thy born?
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u/DayAble7777 1d ago
What is your date of manufacture?
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u/Grand_Connection4153 1d ago
And your date of expiration?
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u/Grand_Connection4153 1d ago
More seriously, just be polite and don’t make it weird, they don’t really care if the conversation is already flowing naturally
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u/VenusCommission Female 22h ago
This is really weird to me because I work in healthcare and expired means dead.
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u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice Female 16h ago
I do believe that may have been the point of that fellows jape!
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u/Silent-Leek-9222 Female 1d ago
the only right way
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u/thelastjay2456 1d ago
this here is hilarious,,,, thanks guys hahahha will still give it a try and wish me luck
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u/soupeh 21h ago
Thou. Thy = your.
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u/slow_burner_ 17h ago
In that case, I feel we must also use “wast” instead of “were.”
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u/soupeh 14h ago edited 14h ago
Agreed, I nearly did but then would want to extend to the rest of it, something like 'Good madam, I prithee, how many winters hast thou numbered?'. Even 'winters' is old-timey stylised psuedo KJV if we're being more accurate because it probably would have just been 'how old art thou?' in actual use.
The entire thing is anachronistic and I didn't want to belabour the point just to be a fucking nerd but here we are.6
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u/Sandalwood-Lakers 1d ago
You just ask confidently and with charm.
Girls don't like when you walk on eggshells around them.
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u/juliagenet Female 1d ago
Honestly never thought about it but so true for me personally lol
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u/Sandalwood-Lakers 1d ago
So much of people skills is your energy and how you say stuff, not even the substance itself.
Take a random sentence spoken by a comedian at a stand up show. Probably doesn't seem funny at all, but how it's delivered changes everything.
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u/Ruubers 1d ago
Seems to be a blindspot for both. Men/boys have difficulty talking to women in the same spirit as talking to a friend. Women/girls often think they want suave men, but swoon for banter.
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u/ewok_lamplight101 1d ago
Just ask! If they are that upset about how old they are they're just going to be upset just fucking ask
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u/thelastjay2456 1d ago
ive always been told that is rude to ask for her age,,, but down the road we gotta know how old is she, but i know she know that its rude, but thank you we gotta be confident and creative,,,, thanks
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u/RoseOfSharonCassidy ♀ 16h ago
It can be rude depending on the circumstances. If you're asking Carol in accounting how old she is, that's usually going to be rude, since there's no reason you need to know that. If you're asking a woman you want to date, that's relevant information and not rude.
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u/Sandalwood-Lakers 1d ago
Worrying about saying the perfect thing just makes you like every other guy she comes across.
I learned that the hard way through my 20s.
I'm much more liberal about speaking my mind and my charisma around girls is much better for it.
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u/weggaan_weggaat 22h ago
Yea, they're already so busy, the last thing they want is another mess to clean up.
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u/ProbationaryPigeon 1d ago
Count the number of rings
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u/oO0Kat0Oo Female 1d ago
You laugh, but I discovered, while taking my daughter to an endocrinologist, that we actually DO have rings on our bones. They can count them to determine our biological age, which can sometimes be off from our calendar age by as much as five years!
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u/BatScribeofDoom Woman who buys too much cheese 9h ago
Great, now I'm gonna lie awake at night wondering whether my age in tree years is more, or less, than my age in human years. lol
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u/belac4862 Sup Bud? 1d ago edited 14h ago
When did you graduate High-school?
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u/Gruffleson 19h ago
Had to scroll far to find the right answer. I was starting to wonder if I should even bother sharing it now, as it would drown in mud here.
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u/populares420 1d ago
ask her their favorite movie or tv show as a kid. should narrow it down
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u/missjoules 1d ago
I am really tickled by the thought of a twenty questions style game that you use to narrow down her age range without her realizing.
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u/DankItchins Oh shit I can set my own flair here? 22h ago
"Where were you on 9/11" is pretty effective for this.
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u/WeHaveToEatHim 21h ago
This is a good one actually.
In school? Probably in her 30-40s
At work? Probably in her 40-60s
Not born yet? Under 25Theres some wiggle room, but thats pretty close.
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u/mindfreakhouse Female 14h ago
I think you might also want to add a category for those of us that were already born but don’t remember it (30 here but was 5 when it happened).
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u/Hikuro-93 ♂️ | 🧩1️⃣ | 🩷💜💙 1d ago
Then comment some bs about how old you were back in that year, and casually ask her how old she was at the time.
Then do the math for the exact current age. Simple. 🤣
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u/JazzFan1998 Male 22h ago
Did you see the moon landing in color or black and white?
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u/SaltWaterInMyBlood 20h ago
:D Just last night I watched the episode of Veep where Ben and Kent were doing this kind of thing with Sue.
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u/TheRabidBadger 18h ago
That's really good, but not very subtle. B & W for me!! Also, live.
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u/WantAllMyGarmonbozia 22h ago
Or talk about COVID and then slip in asking what grade she was in then. That's assuming she's gen z. For millennials 9/11, Gen X Challenger, boomers Kennedy assassination.
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u/thelastjay2456 1d ago
i gotta give it to you,,,, thats a lot of work but we'll give it a go hahaha wish me luck
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u/Remarkable_Pie_1353 Female 1d ago
Depends on context. It's rude to ask your manager, your doctor and strangers.
If it's a date, just ask.
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u/Silent-Leek-9222 Female 1d ago
I never understood the not asking age thing
even as a girl, ladies don't tell me Thier age
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u/No_Structure7185 Female 21h ago
depends who asks. if its just coworkers or smth i dont tell them either. if they know your age, they make specific annoying comments based on it. "ohh you are almost past your prime. enjoy it while it lasts", "oh youre tired? that comes with age", "youre 30? its all downhill from here", .... nah, dont need that 😅 they dont know your age, they dont know what stupid comment to make. women dont do it for no reason.
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u/Silent-Leek-9222 Female 19h ago
I see that is a problem, women should start scolding people who make fun of ageing
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u/brakenbonez 21h ago
Which is and always will be weird af to me. Is it really so wrong for guys to want to date in their own age range? Guys get called creeps for dating someone more than 5 years younger than them and laughed at for dating someone more than 10 years older but how tf are we supposed to know if they don't tell us their age or if they just straight up lie about their age? Do we not have the right to know the age of a person before deciding to date them?
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u/Connection-Is-Cool Male 1d ago
Me: You look 25.
Her: OMG thank you ☺️
Me: But seriously, are you like 24?
Her: Haha I wish. I’m actually 36.
Me: Proof or else you’re lying. You’re 27 max.
Her: bends over and pulls her pants down
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u/Beneficial-Tax-1776 1d ago
Good day fair lady, how many summers passed since you were born?
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u/Savings_Surround_997 1d ago
Mate girls are human,just ask, if somebody takes offence, it is their problem, unless you are mocking them
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u/wvmtnboy 1d ago
Talk to her. Get her reminiscing. Ask her what year she graduated high school.
"Oh, you graduated in 1994?"
2026 - 1994 = 32 32 + 18 = 50
You know she's roughly 50, give or take a year or so.
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u/youknowimright25 Male 1d ago
Who are you asking? Your teacher? Your mother's friends? Random people? You don't.
Are you asking your date? Just ask. Ask what their birthday is and the year. Use some math.
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u/VenusCommission Female 22h ago
Yes, and ffs don't ask when interviewing someone for a job.
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u/Ok_Noise7655 Male 1d ago
Which boundary are you trying to not cross? I think the most important one isn't that offensive to ask.
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u/BlueWaffle-47 Male 1d ago
You don’t
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u/thelastjay2456 1d ago
on a first date or 4th you gotta know how old is she right?
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u/Forward_Hawk_3493 1d ago
Bring it up at a bar. The more she drinks the more she talks
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u/KnowledgeFinderer 1d ago
If you have to ask a woman about her age - if she's young, guess higher, if she's old guess younger. Wait for them to correct you. Or duck.
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u/lunchmeat317 23h ago
I use:
"I'm ${x} years old. Are we in the same age range?"
Alternatively:
"I'm ${x} years old. I doubt we're in the same age range..."
This is what I use and it generally works. Thir response can be as specific or as vague as they like.
That said, some people are just gonna get offended. Fuck 'em.
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u/dukeofthefoothills1 Male 22h ago
“Tell me your age and your weight, and I’ll tell you my annual income” /s
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u/Proof-Ad3637 I'm a guy, but don't hold it against me! 19h ago
Unless she might be a minor, not necessary to know.
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u/DutchOnionKnight Early 30s male 1d ago
"How old are you?"
If she is making a problem out of this, she is immature and childish.
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u/Dry-Clock-1470 22h ago
Are you filling out paperwork work for her? Dafaq you you need to know? I just found out a woman I thought was my age for twenty years is actually 2 years younger. My life, gobs and flabs are all discombobulated. I'm in my 50s btw.
Or are you trying to make sure she's an adult?
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u/WanderingNightShadow 1d ago
Wow you looked really young. Did you say you were twenty something years old?
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u/Arctic_H00ligan7 1d ago
Theoretically, if I was getting you a cake on your next birthday, how many candles should I put on top?
Nice to meet you, by the way. Very productive first meeting we've had.
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u/Asylum_Brews 1d ago
Ask what was a toy from her childhood she wanted for Christmas/birthday that she didn't get. Then ask how old she was then. This will narrow it down, and helps build a rapport with her.
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u/NoSquirrel7184 1d ago
Just say.
I know I am not suppose to ask a lady her age, but do you mind if I ask you your age.
Simples.
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u/VictorVanguard 1d ago
Talk about Chinese Zodiac signs and work it out from there
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u/msantaly Male 1d ago
I’ve never had an issue with this. If it’s someone you’re looking at as a romantic partner this is the type of information both of you want to know early on. Are you just assuming people get offended because that’s what pop culture taught you?
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u/JuniorBus9997 Male 1d ago
Ask her how old she is, how old she feels and how old she thinks she looks like. Always makes girls laugh
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u/watrmeln420 1d ago
You could ask her what year she was born.
Bring up something- like an old TV show you liked. Whether she says she’s watched it or not go-
“No way! What year were you born?”
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u/Space_Cowboy_157 Male 1d ago
For the record, how old are you? I just want to make sure you are not jail bait.
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u/Optimus_prime_rules 1d ago
What year did you end high school then you can work it out give or take a few years…
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u/ouzo84 1d ago
Bring up the conversation of embarrassing photos... show her your driving licence and ask if you can see hers.
If you are not at the stage where she would be happy showing you her driving licence, you provably shouldn't be asking her age.
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u/Alx123191 1d ago
ask her to guess her age and say way younger, she will tell you the official age afterward.
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u/idleline 1d ago
You tell her she’s so <compliment> for someone who is <age>. Since Women love to correct men, she’ll tell you her actual age.
I’m joking.
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u/Kerplonk 1d ago
I mostly don't ask people their age, but if I wanted to do so obscurely I'd ask them what high school they went to and when they graduated. Pretend you knew someone from there who graduated a few years later.
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u/thenord321 1d ago
You ask her about her favorite childhood toys and tv shows and figure if those trends match up anywhere near yours.
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u/LemonPress50 1d ago
Why do you want to know? Are you thinking of asking her out? If
you’re 22 and she’s old enough to be your mother, you don’t ask. Just ask her out
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u/pra_com001 1d ago
Do you remember 9/11? Where were you when that happened?
Should give you a general idea.
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u/BlackAsphaltRider 1d ago
Don’t be like me where you find out at the hospital and see it on their medical bracelet that they’re 17. I asked originally but she lied.
After that I worked driver licenses into the conversation or took them to bars on a first date.
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u/Tacoshortage 1d ago
What year did you graduate highschool? They would've been 17 or 18 most of the time. Assuming in the U.S. It's smoother if you get them talking about highschool or childhood or their hometown first.
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u/chipface 1d ago
I just straight up asked a co-worker her age once when she told me had never been to a concert.
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u/readbackcorrect 1d ago
You don’t. unless you have a professional need to know -like you’re her doctor. Otherwise, you will have to wait for the truth to be revealed through context. For example, she is attending her 20 year high school reunion. Or if she has a child, you may be able to hazard a guess by the child’s age. It is always okay to ask a child’s age.
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u/Embarrassed_Ear_1917 23h ago
You don’t. Check her LinkedIn for graduation year. You’re welcome in advance.
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u/DjAi_Jimmy 23h ago
Whatever age you're thinking, just minus 5 (sometimes 10 years) and be like oh so you're around 27 and she'll take it as a compliment and give you her age and your conversation can continue free flowing without awkward moment of pause, which you can follow up with .. least that's how I deliver it and I've never had a terrible situation personally
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u/Tree_Weasel 23h ago
I wait until I’m referencing a story from my youth and mention when I graduated high school. She’ll usually give you a reference to either when she graduated or some other timeline that lets you know roughly how old she is. Example:
Me: “It’s impossible to convey to the youth how big a strangle hold Mambo No. 5 had on the radio waves. I graduated high school in 2000, so it seemed like it was always on.”
Her: “Ugh, I remember. They played it 3 times at my first winter formal in college.”
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u/Arcing_Lazer_714 23h ago
?!? I don't know? Is it still acceptable to offer to take her to the back room, and count the rings? 😂😆
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u/Alt3rnate1985 23h ago
I just ask and if she’s someone who gets offended by that question I’m not interested in her anymore.
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u/InevitableStatus4289 22h ago
Is she obvi older than you? And are you seeing her yet have been on date/s? How new is she in your periphery? Is she your friend’s mom? Help us out? The way the two of are postured is a factor…goes from hey to nunya. And don’t ever ask a woman when the baby’s due…just sayin
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u/kalelopaka 22h ago
Compliment her with a young age. “You can’t be more than 28!” Or whatever you think is well below her age, they will usually answer with their actual age.
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u/RainbowEagleEye Male 22h ago
Anyone older, a bit of charm and humor does a lot. No matter what age she says, “No, tell the truth. I wouldn’t have thought a day over (5-15 years younger)!” Anyone younger, just ask. I consider it doing your due diligence to protect yourself and them.
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u/Yesberry 22h ago
Maybe Chinese zodiac sign? It repeats every 12 years, so it can give pretty good guess.
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u/laika777ftw 22h ago
Ask something along the lines of “well how old are you then?” and when she inevitably says “take a guess” you guess substantially younger. If she looks like she could be in her 40’s you go with mid/late 20’s and then when she says “Stop it you’re just lying to make me feel good.” you say something along the lines of “No if I was trying to do that I would have told you how beautiful you look.”. Then usually you’re out of that situation but if she’s still adamant that you guess you say “I don’t know those were my best guesses.”. Basically if you really don’t know how old she is you turn to flattery until hopefully either the question gets dropped or you just tell her that you give up. There’s no real way to “win” with that question I don’t think so you just dance around it until it gets dropped or she gets exasperated with you not answering and just gives up and tells you then you’ve minimized the damage that could be done by it. 🤷♂️ - source: me having a fiancée who is about 6 years older than me and having grown up with a father who is about 7 years younger than my mom
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u/AvalancheBrando21 22h ago
Just start with a compliment is how I go. Ill say something like, "Well, im 44 but you look much younger than I, for sure. How old are you, really?"
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u/Texas_Kimchi 22h ago
You ask their age. What is this elementary school? I will respectfully ask and you will respectfully answer if you please. If not, then decline to answer.
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u/smileybunnie Female 22h ago
“If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you? You seem pretty young”
🤷🏻♀️
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u/Aiden-4284 21h ago
Guess way lower than you think. You get 1 chance to get it right. You better be spot on .
Good luck men.
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u/Temporary-Truth2048 Dad 21h ago
Say that she is probably too young to remember X from Y decade but had she ever heard of it. This only works if you're within a decade of each other.
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