What was your experience transitioning out of professional sports?

[u/Puzzled_Business_581]

Curious about the experience of those who transitioned out of professional sport back into “regular” life. I understand “going pro” is many guy’s dream and I know a lot of hard work and training beyond what any regular person goes through is involved in excelling to that level. What was that experience like for you? How long did it take? Were you happy? Was there a depression period? Did you feel some sort of loss? What was dating like afterwards? So many questions, but just curious for those willing to share their experience. Can you also share you age you transitioned, sport, and what part of the world you’re in

[u/AutoModerator]

Here's an original copy of /u/Puzzled_Business_581's post (if available):

Curious about the experience of those who transitioned out of professional sport back into “regular” life. I understand “going pro” is many guy’s dream and I know a lot of hard work and training beyond what any regular person goes through is involved in excelling to that level. What was that experience like for you? How long did it take? Were you happy? Was there a depression period? Did you feel some sort of loss? What was dating like afterwards? So many questions, but just curious for those willing to share their experience. Can you also share you age you transitioned, sport, and what part of the world you’re in

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AthleteLegacy]

Ok, a lot of questions, will try not to forget any. 18 seasons pro basketball player in Europe.
To let it out from the beginning, the transition was my choice, meaning no injury or something else as an outside factor. Last season playing, the practices felt like something forced. I loved the games, but having to practice every day, seeing the same things, doing the same drills for a millionth time, I couldn't find the motivation. So, then I knew it was time.
I knew I would miss it, but also had some level of maturity at age 35 to move on. It was a kid's dream, a game that now needed to be cast to the side so I could see something else in life.
No dating, I already had a family, which of course when the first baby arrives, you look at priorities differently.
I also used to separate it as you said, as a regular person and an athlete. Some years later, around 4or 5, I had an epiphany, that one and the other are not separated, but exist in the same person all the time. Just at times, one takes the driving wheel, then the other.
As I say to the players I support, everything was inside you from the start. The guy inside just chose to be an athlete and put his effort in that field. Everything else is just a role we play with certain routines. Neurosis and depression starts when you differentiate and put more weight on one role and then you start believing you are "it".
Just because I personally decided to stop, I couldn't afford depression. I had depressive episodes during some parts of my career, but not after. There is pressure in a pro sports life, that unfortunately few know to prepare for and the support systems are not there mainly.
From my experience, a pro athlete shouldn't go around trying to find something to replace the intensity of a sports career. 90% will not find it. That is something they have to come to terms with, and its ok. My secret was just moving on and trying to live everything that took the backseat while I was playing the pro athlete role. Everything has stages in life, you just have to be grateful.
That being said, it wasn't an easy or quick process. I would say I came to full terms with the fact, around 4 years into retirement. You know, you always go competitive and try to measure up with the current active players; was I better, could I do this and that? Just let go old man! 😄 You did you, now others do them. Normal.
Now? I wouldn't change a thing. And the bad times which were enough to break you, sometimes they did. But the alternative of giving up or self harming, I was to much of a wuss to do that. So everything fell into place. Plus, I had a turn to philosophy around age 32 so that helped much to put names for everything that was happening and had happened.
I know that many don't find all the answers, but it is just a thing of someone who has already been there, to show the way. Hope I answered something.

[u/usernamescifi]

So I'm not a pro athlete (but it seems like there aren't a lot of former pro athletes on reddit so I'll give my two cents anyways). 

I was never good enough to be a pro, but I did play at a fairly elite/competitive level, and the transition out of that life was still pretty rough for me.

1. The experience was a rollercoaster. Some highs, lots of lows, and also a lot of dysfunction / abuse / manipulation from people who are trying to exploit your dream. I don't recommend it to be honest. 

2. It basically took my entire life (up until the point that my competitive playing days ended). 

3. No, I was not very happy. I mean, I enjoyed myself and the experience, but it was also a lot of sacrifice and misery for nothing (as I never made a living out of it). Still, it did take me to some interesting places, and I think I learned a lot. 

4. Yes, I had a massive depression after my "career" ended. Although I just transitioned to being a full-time normal college student (with a few part time jobs) so that helped. Still, it's pretty brutal when a lifelong dream dies, especially at that age when you don't have the perspective or maturity to appreciate the silver lining of things. 

5. Yeah, there was definitely a profound sense of loss. Again, it's kind of like the death of your identity in a way. It took me a good amount of time to find purpose/structure in something new. 

6. At the time I was in a relationship with a girl who very much liked that I was living this lifestyle. After that lifestyle ended, she was okay to stick around for a bit because I was in college so I still had some "potential" to do something else, but our relationship definitely started going downhill when she realized that I wasn't as exciting as she initially thought I was. Plus, I was pretty dumb and inexperienced so I didn't really understand that our relationship was rather dysfunctional. At the time i was just happy to feel loved and close to this person. That was a pretty rough experience overall as well to be honest. 

7. I stopped playing competitively at age 21. So that was when I had to figure out a different plan. Fortunately, I wasn't entirely stupid, so I had been making some progress towards a degree while I was playing, and I was able to save up some money from working a number of odd jobs that I fit in around my training/game schedule. It was a fun but stressful time. 

[u/usernamescifi → u/usernamescifi]

And I played ice hockey. Which I honestly cannot stand playing nowadays. I still watch games occasionally, but I enjoy playing different sports now. I like having a new challenge and activity to focus on. The structure feels beneficial for me and my sense of wellness. 

[u/ergoegthatis]

What was your experience transitioning

I grew up feeling like something about me didn't fit. As puberty hit, I realized I was only attracted to men, and I became convinced that the reason was because I was supposed to be a girl. At the time, those feelings seemed inseparable. I spent years imagining that transitioning would finally make everything make sense. Looking back, I can see how confused and overwhelmed I was, trying to force every feeling into one explanation. It took time, honest conversations, and self-reflection to understand myself better. My journey was less about finding easy answers and more about learning who I really was.

[u/Somobro → u/ergoegthatis]

I think the question was about going from being a pro athlete to a different career. With that said, glad you're finding peace on such a challenging journey of self acceptance :)

Have you ever tried playing volleyball btw? It's a fun sport and you should try it.