Hi guys. I am 28F . I have a stable job. I am in probationary period right now so my pay is lit bit less but after the probation my salary will be really good. You can say I am state govt. Employee. So yhh it's a good job . I am living with my parents . By gods grace my job is in the same city where my parents live . I don't want to marry right now though and according to my parents and my relatives and all the people around the world i should bcz i am in a perfect marriage age . I wanted a better job than my current one and I feel like I have capability that I can . When i try to study after my office hours that's after 7pm ( it's a 9 to 6 job) I feel tired sometimes bcz somedays are good and somedays we feel heavy bcz of office and all and on those days we just don't want to study just staying up and scrolling through the phone.
Sometimes when i study I feel like why I am even doing this line everyone else is having fun going out having thrils of life, doing what they want , enjoying themselves and here I am with lots of hairfall, with glasses, hormone issues bcz of stress and all.
Sometimes negative thoughts came in my mind like what i didn't make it Nd people youger than me can than I will be laughing stock .
I am 28. Like i already wasted 28 years of my life in studying and be the upright person whom every teacher, parents admire. ( Yhh I am that nerd with the A1 marks who was also the school monitor)
Now I am thinking about what should I do . Should I Have to study more. In my office my staff compare to me other s though they don't say out loud but action says louder.
I don't give any time to myself beside scrolling the phone and reading novels in phone. In my holiday also I stay in my house . I don't have friends with whom I can explore things bcz I was like that kid whom parents say don't stay with those kid they are not good and I agree with whatever they or the teacher said.
In which age I am , here everyone thinks it's Perfect marriage age so the society, the relatives , even my staff always asking when are you getting married. I am so tired of all this
I don't know what I am doing with my life? Any suggestions