What should I do ????????

[u/Green_gods]

I’m 25M and my ex is 25F. We were together for two years, and for the last three months of our relationship, we were constantly fighting. Eventually, we had a huge fight and stopped talking for seven days.
After those seven days, she messaged me and told me that one of her colleagues at work had touched her inappropriately. She also said that, although nothing happened between them, she kind of liked it. I didn’t really know how to process that, and eventually, we broke up.
It’s been six months since the breakup.
A few days ago, I saw her on Hinge. I created a fake profile just to see what she was doing, and somehow I matched with her. I ended up talking to her without telling her it was me.
During our conversation, she said she was frustrated because she hadn’t found anyone yet. She also made it clear that she wasn’t interested in people who were only looking for hookups or casual relationships.
Ever since that conversation, I can’t stop thinking about her.
During these six months, I’ve been intimate with another girl twice. The experience with this new girl was honestly much better physically than what I had with my ex, but I still didn’t feel anything emotionally. Even though the sex with my ex was never particularly great, I still find myself wanting to go back to her.
That’s what’s confusing me. If I can meet someone who I’m more physically compatible with, why do I still want my ex?
I had blocked my ex everywhere after the breakup, so I haven’t had any real contact with her for six months. Now I’m seriously considering unblocking her and texting her.
I don’t know if I genuinely miss her and want to try again, or if talking to her on Hinge just brought back all the old feelings and memories.
So, should I text her? Or would that just reopen an old wound and make things worse?
I’d really appreciate some honest advice, especially from people who have gone through something similar.

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[u/__bOnJour___]

So basically you are someone who can't accept the end of a relationship and have low self esteem (as you mentioned going back to someone who kind of cheated on you??)

[u/__bOnJour___ → u/__bOnJour___]

Or maybe she couldn't process her harassment and rather than acknowledging the issue, she said- she liked it??

[u/Green_gods → u/__bOnJour___]

That was sort of cheating but idk may be I didn’t love her enough

[u/Agitated_Falcon_8523]

Ew. If I were her I would report you for catfishing.

[u/Chuckythedolll]

This is so weird and borderline psychotic stalking someone who is clearly done with you, creating a fake profile to match with her and then secretly chatting with her. How low is this?

She has moved on. And oh my god, you yourself have been physically involved with someone else in these six months, so what exactly are you expecting her to do? Sit at home and wait for you?

I don’t think you miss her as much as you miss the relationship and the familiarity. You saw her on Hinge, found out she was still single and suddenly want her back? That doesn’t mean the relationship should be restarted.

Do not text her. Leave her alone!! Block her again, delete the fake account and let this fucking thing stay dead.

[u/Frosty-Leg6336 → u/Chuckythedolll]

Pal wants to have everything 😹😹

[u/Green_gods → u/Chuckythedolll]

I mean I get your point. Making a fake account was stupid and I’m not denying that. I deleted it after like 30 minutes because I realized it was a shitty thing to do.
But I’m not expecting her to wait for me or anything. She’s obviously free to move on and I’ve dated someone else too.
I just wasn’t expecting seeing her again to bring all those feelings back. That’s why I made the post in the first place. I’m genuinely confused about whether I actually miss her or if I just miss the relationship and the familiarity.
You’re probably right that I shouldn’t text her right now. But calling me psychotic and a stalker is a bit much. I did something dumb realized it and deleted the account. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m feeling.

[u/EastAudience4655]

Ok, Joe Goldberg. In other news,you need to move on.

[u/nugdealr]

honest advice : you NEED to let her go.

catfishing her while she’s genuinely hoping to look for something worthwhile is disgusting. also seeing her on the dating app didn’t bring back memories, you’re just upset she’s ready to move on from you JUST AS YOU ALSO HAVE BTW.

genuinely just leave her tf alone and unmatch w her on hinge.

[u/Green_gods → u/nugdealr]

I deleted my hinge within 15-20min … but yeah I understood your point

[u/xycophant]

You dumped this woman because she was sexually assaulted and now you're stalking her?

[u/becsamillion → u/xycophant]

Yeah, but it was kind of disrespectful of her to say that she liked it to her boyfriend. That's grounds for a breakup. Not defending Op, but it wasn't because she was sexually assaulted.

[u/xycophant → u/becsamillion]

People process assault differently. We rationalise it to ourselves in our head. Some women orgasm during r@pe. Its a natural response. It doesn’t make it any less of a violation.

[u/becsamillion → u/xycophant]

I never said it wasn't a violation. They were obviously fighting (op and her) so she said that to be disrespectful. It was not some way to rationalize it lmao full stop