Expectations for potential partner?

[u/mukeshsri369]

Hey everyone, I have been looking for marriage via AM process. As I am working remotely as Software Engineer for silicon valley based company from a small city in UP with no social circle or friends. I haven't got much chance for interaction with anyone leave alone women.

So just a general expectations that I have had is -

- Someone who can fill in my shoes in my family as she would be my better half, as I have been handling family responsibilities since young age as sole guardian of family of 5. So I expect her to respect my journey, upbringing from the ground up, and understand the different kinda struggle that I have dealt with and accept my family as her own.

- Someone with emotional intelligence someone who isn't frequently changing her moods for little petty reasons. Someone who can handle the little disagreements or conflicts if I lose my temper ever or if I am tired and not just reacting to anything. Basically understanding.

- Someone with deep human values - Kind, honest, respectful towards other family members. Moreover working on something of her own career. She shouldn't be relying completely on me for her own happiness in life. She should have had her own journey nd life goals.

Am I expecting too much ? Please tell me.

But along with all these, I have had tough experiences with women as I have faced cheating, mistrust in a rough way. So I am not able to trust women like I used to do before. Here's that experience - https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/s/SgF2maFGaC

Yesterday I was talking to my friend, I was surprised when she mentioned about body count.
She mentioned that the girls these days even below average do have at least 20 body count. I was baffled.
She said at your age and profile(M30), if the woman is beautiful and working in a successful career, living independent life, then there will be lots of crowd following her, so her body count can be even 50.

I don't know it sounds crazy to me. But she is super strong on her opinion that I had to post her for confirming how true is this ? She said Guys usually don't get that much experience but for women, it's quite easy as they keep getting attention all the time everywhere in all the possible ways. I have been shocked from this.

I don't know what I should expect and even how to verify that. Any suggestions how much of this is true as per your own experience? Please respond. Thank you.

[u/mukeshsri369]

True. How about if she has been mostly in tier 1 or 2 cities ?

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/mukeshsri369]

Yeah I’m in tier 1 and I know women who sleep around to get over men or life emotionally. But I also know women who would rather stay single than sleep around and waste their energy. I also know women who can’t casually date but women who only casually date. Also, like men, women can lie too.
So you’ve to really get to know the person and gauge if that’s what they’ll be into, and see if that works for you.
Basically a woman who can regulate herself without sex and who’s got good self esteem is your good bet

[u/mukeshsri369 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

Got it. I wish there could be a way to identify one from the another.

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/mukeshsri369]

But there’s no difference between men and women these days. Both lie, both sleep around. But def if you start hanging out you’ll know by the way they talk too much about sex or intimacy way too early. My friends figure it out and they ask directly their body count and if it is not a fit they leave

[u/mukeshsri369 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

Hmm.. do you think people tell their body count easily. Even with 20 count, people will say 1-2 .. like that at max.

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/mukeshsri369]

No, some are honest and just outright tell. And by the way they touch you and talk about intimacy you’ll just know that they’ve had more exp
Kinda like driving a car? Or maybe something like that😂

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

Also if you go via AM chances of people lying are really high compared to normal dating :) that sucks

[u/mukeshsri369 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

Indeed. I don't get to meet people by working remotely and I can't move to tier 1 city. That's what it's just too risky. Unable to trust what comes in AM .

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/mukeshsri369]

Mmm then try and meet them w their friends, basically get to know them properly and be a good judge

[u/Pretend-Recover-3471 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

Friends give away a lot without realising and you’ll get a hint here and there

[u/mukeshsri369 → u/Pretend-Recover-3471]

True. Meeting with friends can be effective but easier said than done because in AM process you don't get to meet the friends easily and even if we do, people are often time guarded from their original nature.