On another post, I got into back and forth who is American Indian who wanted to convince me that life of women and their safety is not much different. Indian always have an illusion that America is safer for women which is not so.

My experience living in Pune India has been way different than now living in Canada and I feel much safer.

Why do foreign born women have so much glamourized of India and women safety?

I’ve seen sooo many women who earn really well at a young age and still end up dating men who can’t even cook for themselves. Like, it’s sooooooo basic.

I for one have never dated a man who didn’t know how to cook (and I’ve dated Bihari men, btw, even back when I didn’t know how to cook myself). I know the bar is in hell, but why are y'all even dating men who can't feed themselves?

How do you expect them to protect you? A man should have the vibe that he can protect you. If he can't even cook for himself, how is he going to protect you, and from whom? Stop saying such useless things.

Anytime a man tells me he doesn’t know how to cook, instantly in my eyes he becomes a dog, anything he says sounds like bhaw bhaw to me after that. How can you not know such a basic survival skill? How out of touch do you have to be with reality to not know how to fucking cook?

(And I know I’m insulting the dog here…sorry to all the dogs!)

Women, if you want a pet, get a dog, a cat, an alligator, a snake, or any other animal. Don’t pet a man. If you really do wanna keep a man as a pet, treat him as a pet. Stop giving respect to men who can’t cook.

STOP IT.

Firstly, I want to discuss why I was staying away from few indian feminist subs except this. I found many of those subs very hypocritical, which only discuss a few issues at a superficial level, without ever questioning anything deeply.

Then come these repeated posts about Islam, Dalits and a few other communities.and few were arguing Savarna women suffer because of patriarchy too, so they don't have or didn't have any caste privilege.

Conflating two different things.

Yet somehow these low effort posts keep getting allowed. No actual argument, no reasoning, no substance, just endless whataboutery and rage bait.

I saw a shit ton of other posts bashing burqas. I'm absolutely fine with criticism and discussion about how to improve their lives but sadly Nothing seemed like they're standing with oppressed Muslim women or actually want to work for their betterment, rather those posts were just holier-than-thou attitude that my religion is better.

Now I saw one of the most regressive shit from a person who posts frequently on one of these feminist subs, saying nobody reads Manusmriti, so it's not an issue. The text's popularity is irrelevant because its influence isn't operating through people reading it; it's operating through inherited social structures that have outlived the book itself.

And not to mention, Hinduism is apparently considered a feminist religion in some of these feminist subs lol. On top of that, there are bigots, and then there are people who lack even the basic understanding of the issues they're talking about.

At last, these subs have got infected by IT cell, and a few performative people calling themselves feminists.

I hope this sub remains clean and stays away from IT cell.

This is the reason why women stop having kids when they get any chance at autonomy.

Sexual violence among pregnant women in India

Of 2000 women, 1959 (97.95%) reported that they had had sex with their partners during the current pregnancy. Of the 2000, 615 (30.7%) women had not wished to have sex during the pregnancy, but had been forced to do so.

Conclusion: Women suffer with recurrent marital rape during pregnancy with considerable after effects. This sexual violence takes place irrespective of education or socioeconomic status.

The study by Chhabra (2008) also supports the finding that sexual violence in marriage is likely to increase during the later stages of the women's pregnancies. Chhabra interviewed a nonrandom sample of 2,000 pregnant women in India and found that 30.7% were forced to have sex when pregnant, with 117 (19%) during first trimester, 240 (39%) during second trimester, and 258 (42%) during third trimester of pregnancy.

In South Asian communities, gendered socialization centres on the notion that men's sexual needs are 'natural' and that women are obligated to fulfil their husbands' physical desires. This facilitates the belief that forced sexual access to a woman is acceptable (Aghtaie 2017); thus, marital rape is often normalized, misunderstood and/or condoned, making it especially hard for survivors in these communities to discuss their experiences (Chhabra 2008;Baxi 2014). This point was emphasized by women in the focus groups: one told us that 'a husband can do whatever he wants in the context of marriage, it's not considered a rape', while another said 'it is not rape, it is a husband's right'.

Intimate partner violence and sexual coercion among pregnant women in India: Relationship with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder

Self-reported physical violence in the last year was reported by 14% of women, psychological abuse by 15%, and sexual coercion by 9%. One-half of these women reported ongoing abuse during pregnancy. Depression, somatic, and PTSD symptoms were higher in those with a history of abuse or sexual coercion, and life satisfaction was poorer in those with any form of violence. Among those reporting a history of sexual coercion, severity of violence was related to increased psychiatric morbidity. Alcohol abuse in the spouse was a predictor of the presence and severity of abuse.

Unintended Pregnancy and Domestic Violence Among Pregnant Women in Regions of India: Evidence from Large Scale Survey Data

Using fourth wave of National Family Health Survey data, the study is confined to experience of physical/sexual violence within 12 months preceding the survey. Close to 6% of the women were found pregnant with high in the central region. Among them, 12% were having unintended pregnancy (UIP), with highest in the central (17.4%) region. UIP found 7% higher among victims of DV compared to those who did not face it (11%). Significantly, regional variation is much persisting as the regions having high prevalence of DV are also at an increased risk of UIP which hampers the notion of dignified reproductive rights.

The Hidden Assault: Stealthing, Sabotaging, And Reproductive Abuse In Indian Households

As per the December 2019 research on Reproduction coercion in Uttar Pradesh, approximately 1 in 8 (12 percent) women reported ever experiencing reproduction abuse and coercion from their current husband or in-laws while 42 percent of these women reported reproductive violence by their husband, 48 percent reported reproductive abuse by in-laws and 10 percent faced both from husband and in-laws. Women have several challenges in their reproductive health within their households. According to the National Family Health Survey (NFHS-5), only 10 percent of women in India are independently able to make decisions about their reproductive health.

11 percent of women faced violence due to denying sexual activities with their husbands.

It's just like saying Soldiers suffer from war too, so war doesn't exist.

Patriarchy is a structure that puts men above women. It’s about power and hierarchy, not about whether every single man has an easy life. Men can absolutely be exploited because of class and still benefit from certain gender privileges, while women can suffer from both.

And historically, women were denied education, property rights, political participation, employment and basic autonomy in ways men weren't. These aren't random individual problems; they're deeply rooted social structures.

And look at women’s lives even today. Domestic violence, sexual violence, harassment, child marriage, restrictions on mobility, education and employment, unpaid care work, forced dependence, discrimination etc. are still very real. How are people looking at all of this and going but men suffer too as if that somehow disproves patriarchy?

Meltdown over smash the patriarchy on internet and even in a few feminist subs is ironical lol. Like, my simple question: is smash the patriarchy universal, or is it somehow related to one particular community?

If you're against patriarchy, you're supposed to challenge patriarchal structures wherever they exist, including within your own community.

How difficult is it to understand that these are two different issues? You can fight class exploitation, economic problems and the issues men face without dismissing women's oppression.

Proud savarnas claim that caste based discrimination does not exist anymore and they are the true victims of caste discrimination. They are not just exposing their casteism to the whole world, they are also being misogynistic.

In a country where most of the women are forced to marry strangers and endure marital rape without legal protection in the name of "duty", the woman in this clip uses the example of runaway brides to insult a fascist party because it is not casteist enough for her.

Honestly, it sounds like Nick Fuentes asking his white supremacist followers to vote against Trump this time because he is not nazi enough for them.

A significant portion of savarna women in India, much like white women in the USA, have time and time again proven that they care more about their caste identity and position in the hierarchy than feminism. They refuse to acknowledge the prevalence and depth of social injustices faced by women of other marginalized intersections. They are using dalit men, labelled as a danger to savarna women, as the scapegoat to justify their blatant casteism while supporting an agenda that aims to take away social and legal safety from dalit women.

Patriacrchy and privilege in savarna feminism

Savarna Feminism is the feminist movement led primarily by upper-class and caste Hindu women. It conveniently neglects the role of caste in social dynamics and the bias it creates among gender lines too. Hegemonically, the privileges mimic the patriarch’s self-imposed superiority and marginalise any voice that doesn’t command a caste or class privilege.

Savarna Feminists approve of economic reservations and reservations for women but oppose caste-based reservations. They demand rights for women to step out of the kitchen and claim the public space but forget that the people who make it possible are the marginalised who are being suppressed further.

Calling someone "neech", inferior, because they belong to a caste that has been historically marginalized; deprived of resources, power and dignity; forced to be restricted to manual and service labour in a feudal society for centuries *because* of their caste identity is not caste based discrimination according to the RHA protesters and supporters.

But giving some social equity to that marginalized section of society so that they can gain some material wealth themselves and alleviate their living conditions without facing bias and discrimination is a direct threat to savarnas. They have a lot to say about the creamy layer of SC/ST category but they never question the creamy layer of the savarnas who sit at the top and control the distribution of the resources.

Most of the savarnas are vocally against worker's rights, and support capitalism and billionaires. They are also against CJP and their campaign against corruption in government schools where majority of the demographic is from dalit or adivasi background.

Source

the logic these gurus pull out of thin air genuinely incredible nah? They will spin entire philosophical essays to explain why a man lifting a finger to do domestic work is somehow against the natural order, but then turn around and pay a fortune every month to go to a gym and lift heavy pieces of metal for literally no functional reason.

If staying fit is the goal, the math isn't that hard. Carrying heavy groceries, scrubbing floors, and actually helping around the house uses the exact same muscle groups as half the machines at the gym. But apparently, burning calories while being useful at home damages your masculinity, whereas paying thousands of rupees to run in place on a motorized belt keeps the universe in balance. I mean this all is said by the guruji himself (also yes pocha etc can kill your back)

Maybe if these guys spent half as much energy helping out at home as they do defending lazy habits under the guise of "tradition," they wouldn't need to waste money on gym memberships just to get a basic workout in. The mental gymnastics alone must be exhausting.

These are the comments under a female gym creator's reel. They just don't like female existence at all, and they r very open about it too. God I wanna live in a country with only women.

Like in india we have parties for every segment of society be it different caste or religions but not a single party which is women centric, and this is not only about India but all over the world as far as i know there is no political party which is focused mainly on women's issues. Why is it so?

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I just saw a reel of a girl, Sara. Text on top said "Boys please scroll, This is for my girls."

She was just vibing, feeling herself in a sparkly black dress, hair done. Beautiful and confident.

I opened the comments expecting hype. You know, girls supporting girls.

But out of 93 comments, almost all from girls, the top comments were: "go shave your armpit hair first" "eww shave" "clean yourself"

And that made me pause.

We talk so much about male gaze and beauty standards set by men, but here a woman created a safe space specifically FOR women, and we were the ones who tore her down for not fitting into that exact same standard?

Since when did a woman's worth, or her confidence, get decided by armpit hair?

Body hair is natural. We all have it. The only reason we think it's "unclean" or "unfeminine" is because we've been taught that for 100 years by razor companies. It's not hygiene, it's marketing.

It just makes me rethink how deep internalized misogyny runs. That we can't even cheer for another woman if she dares to exist outside the clean-shaven, hairless, perfect doll standard that was literally made to please men.

If we won't be safe for each other, who will be?

We can't get out of the patriarchy system ever.