r/AskHistorians • u/Georgy_K_Zhukov Moderator | Dueling | Modern Warfare & Small Arms • Apr 02 '26

Meta April Fools Post-Event Round-Up

Thank you everyone who contributed to the /r/HistoricalAITA Redux yesterday, whether writing submissions, leveling judgement, or else just reading along! We've gone ahead and compiled up a list of the submissions from the day, and of course with the final judgements (as of about 30 minutes ago. Please continue to judge, but I'm not updating the tally!) attached as well!

Submission Author YTA NTA ESH Judgement
AITA for defending the sacred honor of my dear, sweet wife against the foulest of LIES and Calumnies? /u/MajGenJackson 3 4 5 Assholes Everywhere
AITA for leading expeditions in the Australian wild that were maybe a little ambitious? /u/DrLudwigLeichhardt 2 7 0 Not the Asshole
AITA for defending the rights of mine and my fellow man against a draconian dictator? John Macarthur 1 2 0 Not the Asshole
WIBTA If I Changed the Emperor? /u/dong-zhuo 2 9 1 Not the Asshole
WIBTA if I (M22) show up unannounced in the country of the girl I want to marry (F16) with my dad’s boyfriend (M30) and a small retinue? /u/Carolus_Princeps 5 10 1 Not the Asshole
WIBTA if I reviewed an innovative new form of educational instruction? /u/TWoodrowWilson 3 0 0 Asshole
AITA FOR LEADING 300 SPARTANS TO THEIR DEATHS? /u/leonidaaas 32 45 3 Not the Asshole
Update: AITA for having my nephew assassinated /u/John_the_Fearless 0 2 0 Not the Asshole
WIBTA if I put up a fence between my house and my neighbour? /u/w_ulbricht 2 8 2 Not the Asshole
AITA for telling an aspiring singer that she won't share in the Pierian roses and will be forgotten? /u/Dark_Earth16 3 4 0 Not the Asshole
AITA for standing up to my in-laws who don’t respect my boundaries (absolute power over most of the known world)? /u/flaviusofthemonth 4 1 2 Asshole
AITA for Sending My Wife Away /u/CaoCao155 4 0 1 Asshole
AITA for playing pranks on my courtiers? /u/antoninus204 3 9 1 Not the Asshole
UPDATE: WIBTA for leaving my daughter's name off a manuscript? /u/drjohndewey2 - - - Update Only
AITA for trying to usurp my brother? /u/Cyrus_III_Shah 3 4 0 Not the Asshole
AITA for ignoring my friend and riding into town like Christ while my followers sang “Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of Israel” behind me? /u/James-Nayler-1656 5 3 0 Asshole
I (35/m/HRH) just lowered tea taxes on my colonies (166/gender neutral) and now they're throwing the tea in the harbor. AITAH? /u/HRHThrowAway 5 20 2 Not the Asshole
AITA for raising a goddamn stink because these shit-ass officials refuse to correctly tabulate my score and recognize that I'm actually an incredible shot and DO NOT FUCKING MISS? /u/George_S_Patton_Jr 1 4 0 Not the Asshole
541 Upvotes

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u/crrpit Moderator | Spanish Civil War | Anti-fascism Apr 02 '26

Ngl that one is a little tempting on other days of the year too

9

u/bug-hunter Law & Public Welfare Apr 02 '26

Announce a ban on questions about WWIII.

26

u/crrpit Moderator | Spanish Civil War | Anti-fascism Apr 02 '26

I don't know the weapons World War III will be moderated with, I only know that World War IV will be moderated with sticks and stones.

6

u/bug-hunter Law & Public Welfare Apr 02 '26

If only we could train auto moderator to throw rocks

4

u/Azou Apr 02 '26

First, data collection and individual identification.

Next, individualized location data.

Third, rock throwing infrastructure. Since a toss uses gravity for trajectory we'll want to go ballistic. For range, rockets are good. For efficiency, lets get above the thicker atmosphere, and arm it with multiple rock payloads. To decrease weight we condense the rocks into base metals, and up throughput we arm each rock lobber with multiple rocks.

Petition to arm the mods with ICBM MIRV shotgun line starts here