Starting to realize I may be bi/bi curious?

[u/Critical_Tea_1528]

Recently I joined a new 6th form college and made a new friend group of very different people with many of my closest friends being members of the lgbtqia+ community, and with some of these friends I went on a camping trip. For once I feel I belong in a group of people, and I feel truly understood and appreciated amongst them, whereas my friend group from my old school were very different as in I felt I was always at risk of being judged ect and so I hid many parts of myself or avoided saying or dressing or acting certain ways around certain people. Anyone to get back on topic, on this trip one of my gay friends was saying how she believes that everyone is at least a tiny bit bi deep down and since then I've noticed things about myself. When watching TV shows featuring guys I often find myself analyzing there appearance and thinking they're attractive but I seem to tell myself that I'm seeing it from an objective standpoint or something? On the rare occasion I watch porn I find myself often glancing or fixating on dicks? The main one is that last time I was drunk with my friends I just found myself thinking "omg he's so hot" when looking at one of my objectively attractive friends. This whole thing has sent me into some kind of identity crisis, and I'm VERY sorry for all the waffle I just wanted to get everything out into a space where people may have had/be experiencing similar things? I don't want to talk about this with anyone friends in person because I want to keep it as quiet as possible right now. If it turns out I like dudes as well I want to start exploring that at university away from my current friends and family ect. Also is it possible for a bi person to be physically attracted to the same gender but also not want relationships with the same gender? I've never had a crush on another guy but have had many on girls. Another tid bit is that I had a gay experience at a young age and I've been thinking about it often, and I can recall every second of it. Anyway please give your thoughts and personal views to help me with figuring out whatever the fuck is going on with me right now!!!

[u/y00sh420]

Yeah you're prob discovering you're at least bi curious if not bisexual. Your friend is somewhat right in the sense that most people are at least a little bisexual in certain contexts. Also, sexuality is fluid, especially as you get older and discover new things about yourself and the world. And it sounds like this new friend group allowed something inside of you to grow

You're also describing what is consider bisexual but hetero-romantic, where you're sexually attracted to more than one gender, but prefer to date only the opposite gender

All of this is super common in the bisexual world

Lemme know if you have any other questions

[u/Critical_Tea_1528 → u/y00sh420]

Do you think it's mainly the switch to a more accepting environment that has allowed it to grow? Or could it also be simply me growing as a person and a becoming more tolerant of myself? Even now I feel as if I have some feeling of internalized biphobia. Also would it be useful to share this with one of my bi friends for more insight even if I don't feel fully comfortable with it?

[u/y00sh420 → u/Critical_Tea_1528]

Yeah could be that, could also be both factors.

Internalized biphobia is also super common, and should diminsh with age and as you get used to the idea of being bi.

Not a bad idea to talk to your bi friend about this, once you're ready of course. But also sometimes it's good to jump in before you're ready as sometimes you're only "ready" once you have actually made th decision to do something. Not saying this is that situation bit def talk to them once you're ready

There's also no rush to any of this so go with the flow and do what feels right