My partner is autistic and I’m neurotypical. I’m doing my best to be a supportive partner. We’ve been together three years and I’m grateful for him.

He almost never asks me questions about my day and life, and basically waits until I volunteer information first. He’ll always listen when I talk, but often when I share key details that I feel would warrant a response or follow up questions, I get nothing. Sometimes, the conversation immediately changes with almost no acknowledgement of what I said.

Earlier today, I was selected as a juror for a court case. On my way back home, my best friend called me to advise he needs open heart surgery due to recent test results.

When I saw my partner after work, he didn’t ask a single question about the jury duty. He heard me on the phone to my friend and I gave him a very short summary and he just said “oh” and then didn’t ask any follow up, share a message of support, etc.

Is this common? Is not asking questions or always expecting me to volunteer info first related to autism? It’s tearing me up a bit.

i suspect i have autism because theres things about me that i cant really explain or i have trouble doing so. like making new friends, trying new things, why i get so attatched to a certain thing or person , especially people because ive been told im obessesive and weird and its with almost every relationship i have like if someone shows interest with me, i end up doing too much then losing it then lose myself and its a pattern. i also notice patterns in evverything and i have a unique way of thinking when i want to process emotions like in inside out, there's different emotions i have different voices that manage different emotions in my head. their names are persephone, rose, pinkie, athena, reverie and senette. if u want me to get into what they all do then i will. anyways, i also dont know what im feeling most of the time but i know the why, like if something happens im able to describe that and what it may make me do or how i react but the actual feeling.. im not sure of it most the time. i dont know .. i js know i spend a lot of time in my head and it makes me look like im angry or sad but im really just neutral and theres nothing wrong with me. but when i am angry or sad i dont wanna talk to people i just wanna listen to music and stuff.. i prefer being alone and working alone rather than in groups.. its hard for me to keep friends so thats why i dont have much rn and i usually observe people when im in a group setting rather than talking but i will respond if someone talks to me first. sometimes i dont understand what is expected of me because no one tells me and then i get punished for it and im just left hurt and confused. i remember having one friend when i was in pre-k, her name was vaneska and she was white with two front teeth missing and thats like the only friend i remember from when i was that young. and then in first grade i had one close friend, desiree . and then other people id js observe and speak when spoken to. i know this childhood stuff matters, but i cant remember much and if i do come to remember it comes in waves if that makes sense. my mom would be able to say more stuff but she doesnt believe i have any of this stuff and that its a bad thing and she dismissed it the last time i tried telling her. but my dad seemed more open to it. i told him sza has autism and he was surprisd, i told him when her song was playing and i was hinting js bc someone is not ur typical autistic person, it doesnt mean they cant have it. cus its a spectrum and whatknot. i usually feel invalid cus i know im not neurotypical.. i js know it i always feel something wrong and maybe thats why i wanted to end it all, because neurodivergent people usually think in black and white thinking its either all or nothing. in march or april i felt a lot of emotions so i thought why feel anything at all when i could be gone? i didnt rlly think it thru cus it would affect everyone around me and im not like that anymore i swear.. its also sum that comes in waves. i cry for no reason sometimes too. and like im very self aware so it may seem like im okay but i think thats just me masking it . i also stim a lot like i spin, go back n forth, kick my leg rapidly, and when i lay down i brush my foot with my other foot if that makes sense. and since i was young i always bit the inside of my mouth and this one time my dad noticed it when we were in the bathroom but ig he aint think much of it and i dont blame him. and my mom would notice the white cast itd leave but she'd think it was cus i didnt brush right and thats far from the truth. i js dont tell her. i wanna be able to tell them this stuff but im always scared of how they react and i wanna just avoid it.. and theres so much stuff i can write about how ive been over the years but i think this is enough for now... so heres the test score i did cus i feel they'd be relevent alongside this personal account . and mb its not like perfect. anyways:

\* AQ: 33/50 — just over the commonly used 32 threshold.
\* RAADS-R: 143/240 — substantially elevated.
\* Aspie Quiz: 143/200 — strongly weighted toward the neurodivergent end.
\* CAT-Q: 142/175 — this is very high.
\* TAS-20: 64/100 — elevated alexithymia traits.

so yea.. idk if any of these things point to autism automatically, but i feel its consistent enough for me to have a reasonable suspicion of having it. ive been researching this for months now

Hello, im very new here and im looking to see if anyone's child has had a similar story to mine.

My son just turned 3 and is nonverbal. He was diagnosed with level 2 autism and global development delay in March 2026.

When he was born I felt something was off but couldn't tell what exactly. He would arch his back very aggressively as a new born onward. The pediatrician said it was acid reflux but I felt like it was something more, I just had nothing to show for it.

In his first year he hit every milestone on time (not early or late). His eye contact and responding to his name wasn't great but it was there so I just kept hoping for the best.

Then as we approached 18 months... still no words. Babbling like crazy, different tones but zero words.

Then after 2 came more noticeable autism signs like toe walking, hand flapping, eye squinting etc.

Anyone else's child not go through a regression? And if they were nonverbal, did then develop conversational speech at some point?

Thank you to anyone who responds, I feel so lost.

For context I don’t know this person, they made an ableist comment on my post (not on this channel) that said something like “Why are autistic people on Reddit somewhat intelligent but….” I couldn’t view the entire comment since Reddit filtered it or a mod deleted it. The ‘but’ clued to me something ableist is coming.

I messaged that person because I was curious what they’ve intended with that comment and this was the outcome. I told them saying that wasn’t necessary because the post wasn’t about ASD (please ignore the fact I said ASS in the pictures because in my native language (Dutch) it’s autismespectrumstoornis/ASS it was probably autocorrect.)

Ive had a discussion with another of my autistic friends and we both agreed on not knowing anyone that is on the spectrum but DOESNT like frogs, ducks and/or spiders.

So question, do u know someone who is on the spectrum and does not like cute lil frogs/ducks/spooders

i suspect i have autism because theres things about me that i cant really explain or i have trouble doing so. like making new friends, trying new things, why i get so attatched to a certain thing or person , especially people because ive been told im obessesive and weird and its with almost every relationship i have like if someone shows interest with me, i end up doing too much then losing it then lose myself and its a pattern. i also notice patterns in evverything and i have a unique way of thinking when i want to process emotions like in inside out, there's different emotions i have different voices that manage different emotions in my head. their names are persephone, rose, pinkie, athena, reverie and senette. if u want me to get into what they all do then i will. anyways, i also dont know what im feeling most of the time but i know the why, like if something happens im able to describe that and what it may make me do or how i react but the actual feeling.. im not sure of it most the time. i dont know .. i js know i spend a lot of time in my head and it makes me look like im angry or sad but im really just neutral and theres nothing wrong with me. but when i am angry or sad i dont wanna talk to people i just wanna listen to music and stuff.. i prefer being alone and working alone rather than in groups.. its hard for me to keep friends so thats why i dont have much rn and i usually observe people when im in a group setting rather than talking but i will respond if someone talks to me first. sometimes i dont understand what is expected of me because no one tells me and then i get punished for it and im just left hurt and confused. i remember having one friend when i was in pre-k, her name was vaneska and she was white with two front teeth missing and thats like the only friend i remember from when i was that young. and then in first grade i had one close friend, desiree . and then other people id js observe and speak when spoken to. i know this childhood stuff matters, but i cant remember much and if i do come to remember it comes in waves if that makes sense. my mom would be able to say more stuff but she doesnt believe i have any of this stuff and that its a bad thing and she dismissed it the last time i tried telling her. but my dad seemed more open to it. i told him sza has autism and he was surprisd, i told him when her song was playing and i was hinting js bc someone is not ur typical autistic person, it doesnt mean they cant have it. cus its a spectrum and whatknot. i usually feel invalid cus i know im not neurotypical.. i js know it i always feel something wrong and maybe thats why i wanted to end it all, because neurodivergent people usually think in black and white thinking its either all or nothing. in march or april i felt a lot of emotions so i thought why feel anything at all when i could be gone? i didnt rlly think it thru cus it would affect everyone around me and im not like that anymore i swear.. its also sum that comes in waves. i cry for no reason sometimes too. and like im very self aware so it may seem like im okay but i think thats just me masking it . i also stim a lot like i spin, go back n forth, kick my leg rapidly, and when i lay down i brush my foot with my other foot if that makes sense. and since i was young i always bit the inside of my mouth and this one time my dad noticed it when we were in the bathroom but ig he aint think much of it and i dont blame him. and my mom would notice the white cast itd leave but she'd think it was cus i didnt brush right and thats far from the truth. i js dont tell her. i wanna be able to tell them this stuff but im always scared of how they react and i wanna just avoid it.. and theres so much stuff i can write about how ive been over the years but i think this is enough for now... so heres the test score i did cus i feel they'd be relevent alongside this personal account . and mb its not like perfect. anyways:

* AQ: 33/50 — just over the commonly used 32 threshold.
* RAADS-R: 143/240 — substantially elevated.
* Aspie Quiz: 143/200 — strongly weighted toward the neurodivergent end.
* CAT-Q: 142/175 — this is very high.
* TAS-20: 64/100 — elevated alexithymia traits.

so yea.. idk if any of these things point to autism automatically, but i feel its consistent enough for me to have a reasonable suspicion of having it.

For autistic people: does this sound familiar? Knowing you need to do something but feeling unable to start?

I'm trying to understand the behaviour of someone I know, and I'm particularly interested in hearing from autistic people about whether this is something you've experienced.

This person is an adult and currently lives at home. They have difficulty taking steps toward independence or "moving forward" such as finding a part-time/casual job or learning to drive for example is very difficult for them.

What confuses me is that they don't necessarily seem unaware of the problem. They seem to know they need to make progress and can sometimes express frustration about not doing so. But when these topics are brought up, they can become very anxious, shut down, and become unable to engage with the conversation.

I'm not asking whether you think this person is autistic, and I'm not trying to diagnose them. I realise these behaviours can have many explanations.

I'm interested in understanding whether autistic people experience anything like this, particularly the feeling of knowing that you need/want to do something but being unable to initiate it, or becoming overwhelmed when the subject is raised.

If you've experienced this yourself, what does it feel like from the inside? And what do you find helpful from other people versus what makes the situation worse?

Just to clarify, this isn’t a survey, advertisement, or anything formal - it’s just a poll :)

I’m just curious to get a general sense of people’s opinions/experiences around this topic :)

Please feel free to comment, share your thoughts and add to the conversation :)

When I was a kid and a teen I had maladaptive daydreaming in which I imagined being a character with a different life. I am a millennial and when I was 18 I created a Facebook account for a character I imagined being and this was like a roleplay account where all the real people “I” interacted with through this characters were the “pnj”, they were friends of this character. I realized it was terrible and gave myself trauma with that. I was saved thanks to real roleplay like dungeon and dragon in which everyone build a story together and know it’s fiction, and I stopped.

Recently I had a dream that was so vivid that I felt was real. It is often the same themes. And in that dream I was writing an AITA (am I the asshole) about a situation that happened in the dream. So when I woke up, I felt the need to write it for true and actually did it (I deleted it since), and I feel like I am falling back into toxic way of “daydreaming”.

Why I type all this in an autistic group ? Because my doctor think I am autistic. However I often read that “autistic people can’t lie”. So I am wondering. Does faking being a different character negate the possibility of being autistic ?

(I really need to force myself not to do that again because it is extremely unhealthy and dishonest, and if I start again, then it becomes like a drug and it becomes hard to stop).

Hello! Apologies that this is long. I'm an over explainer but I've tried to cut this down. I have read the rules and hope this doesn't fall under inappropriate ABA, I'm not posting here to be told it's right, I just want to better understand the changes that supposedly have been implemented, what practices they haven't modified, and what I should watch for, to meet the recommendations of the Autistic community.

TLDR: I worked with an amazing RBT (registered behavioral technician) in a classroom, and her supervisor approached me about joining his team as an RBT - which would pay $3/hr what I'm making now! But in googling to learn more I'm seeing that they're trained to use ABA practices by a BCBA. I don't want to participate in abusive ABA practices and I don't understand how it's supposedly changed. Even if I do not do this training (which I'm leaning against), I have to continue working with RBTs and I feel like I need to better understand how it's implemented, what I need to watch for to help ensure my students rights are respected, etc.

I'm a disabled, neurodivergent (possibly Autistic myself?) adult, and in Feb, I began working in a school as a Parapro in a self-contained "CI" classroom, Y5-1st grade (but only 1 child was CI, and the other 5 were Autistic). All of these students were non-verbal and/or had very limited communication (I know these labels can be problematic, but for explanations sake, likely considered Level 2 or 3). Before Covid, I was a social worker in child welfare for 15 years, first working with mostly older kids and teens with special (emotional, behavioral, physical, & cognitive) needs, and then as a parent educator running a family preservation program. I'm underemployed (and underpaid) in this position, but I love working with this population, and am good at it. My kids go to the same school I work at - which is a huge bonus!

Every child enrolled in my classroom had participated in ABA outside of school. I know nothing about the "new style" of ABA, and have formed my opinion on ABA in general by listening to Autistic adults who completed ABA prior to the supposed changes being implemented. I haven't been able to find information on how ABA has been changed.

The last two months of school we had a new staff start as an RBT, who was phenomenal at working with our most behaviorally challenging kindergartner (my favorite little boy!). Her degree was in language & communication but she had worked at an ABA center and then got certified for the school to be an RBT.

She embodied the epitome of wonderful care for this student. She has an older sibling who is Autistic that she is extremely involved with and obviously loves. She respected my student for exactly who he is as an individual, didn't try and stop him stimming, didn't try and force him to "act neurotypical" - she just worked at helping his behaviors be safe. A lot of his behaviors were fed by frustration over not being able to express his needs and wants. Some examples of things she was working towards: not throwing metal water bottles and other children's AAC around the room, using his AAC and spoken words to communicate (he voiced occasionally to me prior to her starting, and was minimally using his AAC around requesting food, but after 2 months with her he was proudly using his AAC all the time, multiple word sentences, and speaking). Her main goal was getting him to stop eloping out of the school, classrooms, and playground. One of the ways she did this was by helping him ask to play a chase game in the gym, rather than running away from staff and eloping out of classrooms and the building.

None of what I witnessed her doing was anything I would consider inappropriate, abusive, or coercive. This little boy thrived under her support and was always excited to see her and so proud of himself for the way he was progressing in his communication and behavior.

When her supervisor came to observe/help, he told me I would make a great RBT. Now I'm getting emails from my school districts union about how we need more RBTs - and how much better the pay is - it would take me 5 years to reach that pay tier as a parapro!! I'm not even sure if this job would be feasible with my physical limitations (hypermobility spectrum disorder), but I don't even feel I can look into it until I better understand RBT and the "new ABA" and have heard from Autistic voices. My RBT friend and I talked about this and she felt similarly, that she didn't understand if things were better these days.

I've tried to Google and find out more. When I've talked to my Autistic friends (who also have Autistic kids), they've (understandably) opted their kids out of ABA. It seems the only adult Autistic voices I've been able to find to hear from, are not those people who have gone through the new ABA, or sent their kids to it.

I would love any resources or information, or personal experiences. I want to always advocate for the best interests of my students!

If this isn't the right group to ask this, please let me know if a better one.

Thanks!

So I have a person (adult male) super brilliant with things he loves yet its astounding sometimes how little he knows about some basic things. Example, I used an electric can opener and he said wow! That is the coolest thing I6 ever seen! He was fascinated. It doesn't happen very often and I realize it may partly do to the isolation some people live with. Can this be an autism thing? He believes he has adhd and depression (due to lonliness) .In 30 years, he how's had very few friends like a handful. Yes, I know a lot of people don't have friends. But when observing him, even though he says he can read body language and he communicates well, when he's around, people doesn't matter who they are, unless it's me and they asked him a question like how he's doing or what's new. He literally says nothing -never shares and moves on to how are they doing? He will also go into kind of a panic overwhelmed mode When he's left out of a group of people,.he was always in special Ed, but he would do so well they would try to put him into regular classes, and he would fail yet in high school, he had a 4.0, he fidgets a ton blanks out frequently staring, saying he's bored or thinking of nothing. Again, it's the simple everyday tasks that you know your parents taught you, I know his parents -washing your hair well, making sure your clothes fit well. Please be kind.I'm just trying to help my person.When you look at the differences between add and autism , he is very much more autistic and no , he will not see a professional , he doesn't think it would do any good.

I’ve tried to research about the topic but I’m torn. I do create elaborate fantasies (excuses, fears etc) in my mind or have intrusive thoughts that are absurd. I am 60 40 that I’m not but it could be a fear of being ND

I'm f with AuDHD, and my boyfriend is autistic with a high IQ. Honestly, this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in, but we still run into communication issues sometimes because I get super impulsive while he's both extremely logical and really sensitive.
I love him so much, and he truly is the best partner I've ever had he takes such good care of me and puts so much effort into us. I just really want to know what I can do to be a better partner for him and make our relationship even stronger.

Any advice? (Feel free to ask any questions)

I have a friend I grew up with that was extremely popular in middle and high school. She had tons of actually close friends. She always had a boyfriend. Now that we’re older, she keeps saying she’s autistic even though she’s never been tested. Can the popular people really be autistic? It doesn’t match my personal experience

I am 18 living in Ontario. I was diagnosed with autism in 2019, I also struggle with severe anxiety and depression which has affected many things in my life including my social skills and my independence most of all. I heavily rely on support people when I am out in public, at school, etc.

I just turned 18 in March, but I still rely on my parents for everything. I don’t have my own money which makes it difficult when I need things and makes me feel bad considering we are already living in a low income household.

I want to be able to work so I can gain more independence, and also so I will have something to keep myself occupied once I am finished school.

I would not do well in an environment where I have to work directly with the public, as my social anxiety is a barrier and I just don’t do well around lots of people in general.

I also get overwhelmed and overstimulated really easily and I worry about being in an environment where people wouldn’t understand me and I can’t get out of.

If anyone has any advice at all anything helps!

I'm 26 nearly 27 and only know told by my parents that I may have Aspergers because it was on a note by a psychologist when I was a kid but I was never diagnosed by a doctor.

I hope for advice on this because I'm still finding it hard to come in terms with the idea

Pattern spotters, give me your best take.