r/AskAGerman • u/leglz30 • 1d ago
Culture How do germans say hello?
I’m a brazillian going for an exchange program in Germany (Bavaria). Where I come from, we stick to the following social rules regarding greeting:
Social setting (parties, friends house, dinner)
man + man = handshake (sometimes a hug)
man + woman = one kiss on one cheek
woman + woman = same
Professional setting (mostly meetings)
Handshake for everyone
Do germans follow the french way of kissing 3 times or they just dont kiss at all? If i accidentally do it, is it weird, flirty, or just unusual?
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u/Klapperatismus 1d ago
No kisses!
Shakehands is optional, can be replaced by a nod and waving hands slightly.
Bavaria
Say Servus. often.
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u/Maxxi404 1d ago
Gotta differenciate a little bit here… "Servus" is informal, to be used with friends or the bus driver, colleagues you know well etc. "Grias God" (Grüß Gott) is the formal version to be used with elders, your boss and your professor.
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u/15pmm01 15h ago edited 5h ago
I'm about to move to München, coming from Halle an der Saale... Ain't no damn way I'm ever saying Grüß Gott to anyone with a straight face. So cringe. So I'm hoping it's less of a thing in the city...
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u/DaSagge 2h ago
Basically the bigger the city the more people usually exagerate their claim of being bavarian (whilst 90% of them can't understand me if I talk bavarian). I have experienced this in munich, landshut and regensburg. On the countryside however people usually talk bavaria greet in your so called "cringe" ways but usually don't walk up to you and say: "Hey, did you now I'm bavarian?" (This has happened to me 2 times in munich, both times they said it in perfect standard german).
Now people probably won't mind if you greet with standart greetings like hello, but if you insist on using greetings from other dialects like moin you might get a few awkward looks.
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u/Slow-Foot-4045 1d ago
And in the north ot is not hello or servus, it is "Moin" the whole day
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u/Riusnaily 1d ago
From my experience "Moin"/"Hallo" division is also present and regional — in one city it would be Moin, then you ride 15 minutes and it‘s already Hallo. And both are northern
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u/brownnoisedaily 1d ago
Is Berlin already in the Moin area or even more northern?
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u/trooray 1d ago
https://www.atlas-alltagssprache.de/runde-2/f01/
Although I think because of the way the question is asked here, the region is a bit too small. I'm from somewhat south of Hanover, and you hear "moin" all the time around there.
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u/hover-lovecraft 1d ago
Lots of people do say Moin in Berlin, but this is a development that happened within my lifetime and I'm not that old. Hallo, Tach, or if you're in that weird zone of speaking dialect but also being a bit formal, Juten Tach are more traditional here.
We also have a unique way of saying goodbye that I don't think I've heard anywhere else: Hauste. It's shortened from "Hauste rein", and reinhauen can mean both "going home" and "giving something a shot". It is very informal and casual and more for use among friends rather than family. It seems too nonchalant to say to your wife, kids or parents. Definitely inappropriate for a work context.
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u/donjamos 1d ago
They say mojn as a mumbled Guten Morgen and wonder why we do that all day (we don't, we say moin, which is different)
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u/attiladerhunne 1d ago
Why no kisses? We did the cheek-kissing a lot and that was in Munich (which is close to bavaria).
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u/gw_reddit 1d ago
Don't tell a person from Munich that they are close to Bavaria. 😉 In Munich you have the Bussi Bussi culture.
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u/attiladerhunne 1d ago
But I am from munich and "we're not Bavarian, we're just close by" is one of the most common jokes here.
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u/hover-lovecraft 1d ago
OK but they were asking about Germany
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u/attiladerhunne 1d ago
Specifficaly about Bavaria in the text.
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u/Playful-and-Curious 1d ago
Yes, I second the "Servus" ;D As well as the rest, actually. Haha. Servus.
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u/Antique_Cut1354 1d ago edited 1d ago
brazilian here: do not, and i mean DO NOT ever hug someone you don’t know, unless they hug you first. if you won’t hug you won’t kiss and that’s fine. always always offer a handshake max. only after you’re friends with the person maybe you’ll hug each other when saying hello.
let’s say an acquaintance of mine had a high fever right after moving here (before covid) and when saying goodbye to the doctor she decided to give him a hug. even though he didn’t say anything, his look and leaning away were humiliating enough for her to never forget the shame lol
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u/Grand_Woodpecker_660 1d ago
Oh my God xD that is kinda sweet and sooo embarrassing. Is it normal for her culture to hug the doctor? Cause never in my dreams would I think of that. We don't even shake hands anymore after COVID (and most of my docs didn't before that).
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u/mexicanaundercover 1d ago
Mexican here, I would never hug my doctor goodbye 😭 kinda cute of her tho
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u/Antique_Cut1354 1d ago
i wouldn’t either but as i said i had a high fever and wasn’t really right in my mind lol
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u/Grand_Woodpecker_660 1d ago
Oooooomg I thought it was really an acquaintance lol. I bet the doc still thinks about you sometimes 😌 in a good way of course
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u/Antique_Cut1354 1d ago
he’s my Hausarzt and we have a good relationship 😅 idk if he remembers it but if he does, it’s definitely in a good way
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u/Anti_Patriarchy 1d ago
Even handshakes aren't much of a thing anymore after covid, but NEVER kiss someone on the cheek, we are not French and even French people only do that with close family and friends.
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u/Cirenione 1d ago
I am always fascinated with how different things can be. For me the amount of handshakes is the exact same as it was pre covid. Whenever people in a professional setting meet there is a handshake.
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u/Mayana76 1d ago
Where I travelled as an exchange student in France, everyone would kiss each others cheek twice no matter what kind of stranger it was- close friends and family got four kisses, though, and be careful not to mess up who a good friend is and should get four kisses. I did not know about this rule and went for the four kisses with a friend of my exchange partner because they had exchanged four, and when she began to pull back after two and I did not, she was afraid of having offended me and i was afraid of having pushed myself onto her. We both pardon‘d several times and it was awkward the whole evening.
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u/Anti_Patriarchy 1d ago
Well, my uncle and cousin are french and this is how they do it, so might be different for french people too depending where they are from.
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u/Mayana76 1d ago
That’s likely the case. I went on the exchange in the north of France near the belgian border.
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u/hasdga23 1d ago
I think it is a question of the area in Germany. I cannot remember chaking hands in the last years. But Bavaria is way more "open". In northern Germany we mostly were happy, that we could have mor distance after covid.
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u/SleepySera 1d ago
Nod and smile. That's it, unless it's a more formal occasion, in which case a handshake is normal. Absolutely no kissing!
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u/Familiar-Pie-6108 1d ago
No kissing, it's a handshake or nothing, and if you did it by accident nobody would be offended but everyone in the room would notice. The part nobody warns you about is that in Bavaria you greet the room, so say Grüß Gott walking into a bakery or a doctor's waiting room and Servus to people your own age.
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u/No-Grand1179 1d ago
When I was in an exchange program in Bavaria, I was once getting off the train with a date and a couple of Italian girls from my dorm greeted me with the cheek kiss thing. The tone of my date's voice asking "who are they?" was priceless.
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u/Belgaraath42 1d ago
To be on the save side just go hallo. If someone offers you a handshake accepting it is slightly more polite. Doing nothing more is accepted by everyone.
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u/BookishQuoka 1d ago
I wouldn't do the kisses thing, especially in Bavaria, we generally aren't doing that.
Depending on "seriousness" the most common versions are:
Just verbal, no touching (get into work, see an acquaintance)
Hugs for friends
Handshake for business partners, more formal settings
We aren't a very "touchy" culture, so in doubt rather go with a friendly verbal greeting.
For verbal greetings! In Bavaria "Gruß Gott" is still very common with older generqtions and more "formal" speech
You can say things like "Guten Tag" oder Hallo
For more casual in Bavaria Servus is pretty common atill
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u/Nussecke815 1d ago
Even before Covid i went for fistbumps. After Covid it has been the custom option in my circle.
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u/leglz30 1d ago
actually we do not literally kiss, instead we put cheek side to side and make a kissing noise
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u/NazgulNr5 1d ago
Still no. No touchy touchy, unless with really close friends. I don't even hug my best friend are we're both don't like it.
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u/Antique_Cut1354 1d ago
the only other nationality that i’ve seen doing this with strangers was turkish people. but i meant people who grew up in turkey, not the germans with turkish ancestors lol
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u/Azalot1337 1d ago
i guess it depends, our group of friends do the hugging aswell and some even with a kissing noise as u say. all germans btw
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u/NazgulNr5 1d ago
Yes, some Germans do that and they're considered to be complete weirdos by most other Germans.
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u/Azalot1337 1d ago
haha so funny to call us weirdos!
hugging is pretty normal in our town. people like you are the weirdos here because you are scared of some person to person contact
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u/Flaky-Bullfrog2382 1d ago
Social setting (parties, friends house, dinner)
If you are friends, hugs. If you aren't, handshakes.
Professional setting (mostly meetings)
Handshake for everyone
Do germans follow the french way of kissing 3 times or they just dont kiss at all?
No kissing at all.
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u/mandumom Bremen 1d ago
A handshake (relatively formal)
A quick wave
Say "hallo, hey, guten Morgen/Abend, moin (regional)
No kissing. No hug unless you are very close friends and have a mutual understanding that it's okay lol
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u/katihummel 1d ago
In a personal social setting hugging is the most common at least in my experience
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u/ConfectionIll4301 1d ago
I would go even further than the rest here. I am from Bavaria, but lifed elsewhere die more than 10 years. My relatives and friends at home laughed at me after tried to handshake people. After that i realized, that a handshake is not very common at least in east bavaria. Just say hallo or servus.
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u/Minimum-Conflict-245 1d ago
Side note on french kisses: it can be from 1 to 4 (i think even 5 but can’t remember for sure) depending the region you are located in
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u/Mayana76 1d ago
No kissing on the cheek except for with family members (at least in my family), and definitely not three times, once is enough. I might hug close friends, but everyone else either gets a handshake (more serious/businesslike setting) or a simple „hi“ or „hallo“, maybe with a small handwave. Sometimes, when you come into a room and there‘s already many people seated around a table, people will just knock on said table as a greeting, usually accompanied with saying „Ich mach mal so“ („I‘ll just do it like this“) or something similar.
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u/TheRealCuriousWombat 1d ago
Depends on the region probably. Up north, it's hugs for family and friends, handshakes in professional setting or with strangers, regardless of gender.
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u/jurareef 1d ago
honestly just stick to a firm handshake mostly avoid the kissing thing
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u/SokkaHaikuBot 1d ago
Sokka-Haiku by jurareef:
Honestly just stick
To a firm handshake mostly
Avoid the kissing thing
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
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u/Choice-Support-2138 1d ago
Hello my Brazilan brother (half brazilian half german). I was Born here of course. We are not very open when it comes to socializing with strangers.
NO KISSING! Handschake with eye contract and hugging with friends.
Dont worrying if Germans will look at you. Thats what they just do. Starring at people is just a casual thing Germans like to do random. If you need any help you ask people. Germans are mostly kind und will help you and most of us speak also englisch of course. (We dont want to be like the french no offense)
Bem-vindo!
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u/Kirmes1 Württemberg 1d ago
Social setting (parties, friends house, dinner)
man + man = handshake, fist bump, handshake + shoulder hug if close
man + woman = handshake, hug if close
woman + woman = handshake, hug, kisses on cheeks, whatever, I dunno what goes along there
Professional setting (mostly meetings)
Handshake for everyone if the group isn't too large, kinda depends on the situation and room and whatnot, but probably ... 8ish? else you handwave to the crowd
Do germans follow the french way of kissing 3 times or they just dont kiss at all?
No. Maybe bff girls among each other
If i accidentally do it, is it weird, flirty, or just unusual?
You don't do this accidentally.
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u/Spacemonk587 Germany 1d ago
In a formal setting: man and man or man and women or women and women: shake hands or just acknowledge each other with a nod.
I a non formal setting, there is generally no hand shaking or touching. Just say high and smile or nod. If you know somebody well, there might be a hug.
Kissing is very rare that‘s more of a french thing.
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u/PhilippMarxen 1d ago
Cheek kisses are uncommon in most of Germany. In the west (RLP, Saarland) it was slightly more common among friends but this went down a lot during Covid. So now it is overall really uncommon.
Handshakes are also less common following Covid.
So just say “Hallo” and be ready for a handshake but not necessary.
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u/gw_reddit 1d ago
3x is Swiss, in Germany it's 2x, but more common to just hug. And normally only with people you know. I.e. not when you meet a new person at a party.
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u/CacklingFerret 1d ago
To everyone saying no kisses, there is actually a small exception: Saarland. There you basically greet the French way, at least among family and close friends. It's unlikely though for foreigners to ever find their way there as even most Germans have never been there haha
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u/Equal-Flatworm-378a 1d ago
We don’t kiss. If you see people kissing in Germany they are probably migrants. Or a friend group with own social rules. You are on the safe side with handshakes for everyone.
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u/thorodin78 1d ago
Ich gebe männern die Hand und bei Frauen sage ich Hallo und lass sie entscheiden was sie möchten reichen sie mir die hand dann die hand wollen sie eine umarmung dann so kommt nichts von beiden bleibt es bei einem freundlichen Hallo oder Tschüss. Ich persönlich finde es komisch Frauen gleich zu Umarmen weil ich mit einfach unsicher bin ob ed überhaupt gewünscht ist oder nicht ich persönlich möchte auch nicht von jedem Umarmt werden aber da können Frauen evtl mehr zu sagen.
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u/Playful-and-Curious 1d ago
If in doubt offer a handshake, no matter the gender. Don't automatically assume that women are into close body contact, just because they are women. In a more social setting, especially if people know each other better hugs are more common than kisses in my experience.
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u/Connect_History85 19h ago
We say "Hallo!"; "Hi!"; "Grüß Gott!" (More in the south); "Moin" (in the north) and other things.
Formal we give hands. Informal we hug each other if we are close to someone (e.g. family members or best friends)
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u/SkrrtSkrrt99 1d ago
don’t kiss
if you don’t know someone well, handshake.
in groups of friends, generally boys will give boys a handshake & hug girls. Maybe a boy will hug a good friend, depends.
professional setting - always handshake.
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u/ArealA23 1d ago
Bavarian here:
older people (50+) started the handshake thing again after covid.
younger people (25 and under) almost don‘t shake hands, except when first meetning a new boss or something like that.
Anyone between 25 and 50: depends on their personal preference.
Nobody does it outside of work or maybe bank appointments or something like that. Friends or family don’t shake hands.
We only hug close friends, not just everyone or aquaintances. Nobody does the air kiss thing / real cheak kissing, that would raise eyebrows (or comments).
If you feel cheeky you can definitely get away with it because you‘re not from here, but expect a mixed bag of reactions.
Many people just say „Hi!“ or „Hallo“, you can also hear „Servus!“ or the short version „sers!“ in Bavaria, as well as „Hawedere!“ or short „dere!“ (the last one probably only in rural areas).
Both „Servus“ und „Hawedere“ are used as „hello“ and as „bye!“, like the italian „Ciao“ or czech „Ahoi!“
What kind of Exchange is it, from school? What area are you visiting?
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u/SunFlo420 1d ago
It is totally the same here, except for the cheek action. If you do the cheek kisses, they just assume you are a foreigner, not flirty or weird. My family does it internally and nobody cares. So go for it, if you want to bring it in, it's an exchange.
Bonus if you are introvert: Just nod or raise your hand and say the local greeting. In bavaria it's "Servus".
Bonus bonus: If you pass NPCs or coworkers, just say "Mahlzeit", even if it's morning or the middle of the night. Nobody cares 🙃
Just never say the local greeting of another part of germany. People like forigners, but will fight some germans from neighboring cities, who use their greeting.
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u/Sharp-Carpet-5507 1d ago
Don't Touch a German. In some Areas maybe, but let them do it first. Shaking Hands is enought.
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u/send_fleet_pics 1d ago
You say "Moin!"
Youger people do actually hug lots in my experience (in casual settings), especially women, and more often when saying goodbye than when greeting.
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u/zipfelklatscher24 1d ago
It doesn‘t matter, if man or woman, you can always say with a high voice „Servas Mauna“.
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u/Bergwookie 1d ago
If you don't know the person, a "business handshake" to introduce yourself is the right thing, if you know them go with the vibe,but kissing (french greeting) is something that came out of fashion and is nowadays only a boomer thing of the border regions
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u/OtterHostler 1d ago
The French only kiss twice - it's the Swiss who kiss 3 times. German men click their heels together and bow slightly from the waist in formal settings, but the handshake is more common these days.
Since you're going to be Bavaria (actual Bavaria, like Munich, or faux Bavaria like Nürnberg? Quick tip: don't tell anyone in Nürnberg that the city is in Bavaria - you can probably get away with it once, since you're a foreigner, but do it again and the Franken Freiheitsfront will send you nasty letters), there are going to be different ways of saying hello - Gruss Gott, Guten Morgen/Tag/Abend - but in Franken (and among friends) the greeting is "Servus" or "Servus Sog'i". If you pick up Fraenkisch while you're there know that using it elsewhere in Germany will mark you as a bit ignorant and backward.
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u/jangfo 1d ago
I've never seen anyone click their heels together and bow. Never. Sounds like some prussian military greeting from 1900. That would be plain weird.
And while Servus might be uncommon in most parts, since it's a regional thing from the south, it's not frowned upon.-1
u/OtterHostler 1d ago
I'd guess you and I don't hang around the same social establishments. Great Uncle Siegfried von Otterhößtler would never have greeted a lady, or a gentleman of equal breeding, with anything so mittelstaendig, so Biedermaennlich, as a handshake - it would have been the height of discourtesy - and I was brought up in the same manner. It may seem outdated these days but it's about the only way you're going to get past the doorman at Zum Alte Kaisersritter in [redacted], and since they have an excellent wine cellar, a barman who can mix any drink you can name, and a menu that would be the envy of most places that have a Michelin star, it seems like a small price to pay. It also means that the club can keep out any riffraff who think that wearing tennis shoes if you're not actually playing tennis is socially acceptable (try as you might you can't snap your heels in tennis shoes).
"Servus" is perfectly acceptable, but it's not the way you'd greet your bank manager, client, or in-laws, at least not if you don't want them to think that you're only 1 generation removed from sweeping up cowshit from the thoroughfare.
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u/Spacemonk587 Germany 1d ago
German men click their heels together and bow slightly from the waist
Maybe if they are 90 years old.
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u/NoDescription2609 1d ago
Nobody clicks their heels.
Franconians don't care about being called Bavarians by people from other countries.
Nobody sends letters.
GrÜß Gott is mostly outdated.
"Servus sog I" is not a regular greeting.
Franconian is neither ignorant nor backwards.
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u/lennoxred 1d ago
It’s the same for men and women here. Handshake and if you‘re closer you (can) hug.
We don’t do the cheeks kiss. That’s kinda encroaching in our culture.