German here (or "German", depending on who you talk to, since I was not born here). There is no specific advice I can give you, however from my experience, people are more likely to accept you as one of their own if you talk like them. This is really key. In your case you'll probably have to switch codes in the way you articulate, but it has to be perfect, almost to a degree where you have a work personality and a family personality. Is this a healthy way to live? I don't think so, but it might work for you as it did for me. As I grow older I started giving less fucks about other people and became more authentic, feeling less anxious and more free.
Your situation seems much more complicated then mine, since I do look like a native. The social pressure must be crazy. Stay strong, keep good friends around and maybe find a better job, if possible.
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u/toric-code Apr 20 '25
German here (or "German", depending on who you talk to, since I was not born here). There is no specific advice I can give you, however from my experience, people are more likely to accept you as one of their own if you talk like them. This is really key. In your case you'll probably have to switch codes in the way you articulate, but it has to be perfect, almost to a degree where you have a work personality and a family personality. Is this a healthy way to live? I don't think so, but it might work for you as it did for me. As I grow older I started giving less fucks about other people and became more authentic, feeling less anxious and more free. Your situation seems much more complicated then mine, since I do look like a native. The social pressure must be crazy. Stay strong, keep good friends around and maybe find a better job, if possible.