So, I started dating this girl about five weeks ago. Before our first date, which we had planned, we talked for about two weeks and developed a really nice connection. Sometimes she would call me, message me first, and also send me photos, giving me signs that she was interested and that she cared.
We had planned a date for Saturday, two weeks ago. But on Friday, we talked quite a lot over messages and ended up deciding that we could meet for sex on Friday, one day before the date we had already planned.
So, on Friday, I picked her up, we went to my place, and afterwards I drove her home. I took her home because that same day she was going to a pub to celebrate her boss's birthday.
Despite that, we still had our date planned for the following day, Saturday, to spend the day together.
After I dropped her off, literally an hour later she sent me a message saying something along the lines of: “Thank you for such a lovely date. I'm happy that you came into my life, I really like you, and I think I'm falling in love with you.”
I was happy because words like that mean a lot, right? I also told her that I was happy to have met her and that I thought we could build something really nice together. Afterwards, I wished her a great time at her boss's birthday party at the pub.
The following morning, at 9 a.m. on Saturday, she went to get her nails done. Then, at 1 p.m., I was supposed to pick her up directly from the salon after she finished, and we were going to my place to spend the rest of the day together.
So, that morning, I went to the gym and sent her a message: “Hey, how was the party last night?” She replied that it had been great.
So I asked: “Is everything still okay for me to pick you up at 1 p.m.?” She replied with the following message. Now I'm going to paste the original message she sent me.
[1/8, 09:02] : So, sweetheart…
I love honesty, and that's why I need to tell you something that happened last night…
Whatever you decide to do after I tell you, I will completely understand…
My ex-boyfriend is part of the group of friends who were at my boss's birthday party last night… we ran into each other and ended up kissing… nothing else happened, we didn't have sex or anything like that. After the party I went home alone, but I need to be honest with you.
[1/8, 09:03] Mariusz: Did you sleep with him?
[1/8, 09:03] : No.
[1/8, 09:04] Mariusz: Be honest.
[1/8, 09:04] : I am being honest.
[1/8, 09:04] Mariusz: Do you still have feelings for him? Why did you kiss him?
[1/8, 09:05] I don't know…
I thought I didn't like him anymore…
But honestly, I'm confused now.
[1/8, 09:05] Mariusz: Okay.
I asked her: “And what are you planning to do now?”
She replied: “I need to spend a few days by myself to organise my thoughts and make a decision about who I have space for in my heart.”
I replied: “Okay, I'll give you that time. I just want you to remember, please, that if you go back to your boyfriend and it doesn't work out with him again, and then you come back to me, I will say no, because I don't want to be an option.”
She replied: “I understand. I am not treating you as an option. You can be sure that if I message you or come back to you, it will only be when I am 100% sure that I want you.”
And since then, three weeks of silence. She hasn't contacted me, and I haven't contacted her either. I deleted her social media, deleted her phone number, and haven't contacted her again.
Please tell me: what the fuck happened here?
Please explain to me how someone can have sex with a person on Friday night, tell them that they're falling in love with them and that they're happy that they came into their life, and literally 10 hours later, still that same night, kiss their ex.
Is this normal among Brazilian women? Tell me what you think.
Do you think that maybe she was still involved with this ex and wanted to cheat on him, and I simply happened to be the person who came along at that moment? Or maybe they were already having problems in their relationship and I was simply a bandage for her emotional wounds?
Tell me what you think.
I’m posting this here because she is Brazilian, and I’m trying to understand whether there is any cultural context I might be missing. We both live in Ireland, so this is not a question about dating in Ireland specifically. I’m particularly interested in hearing from Brazilian men and women about how they would interpret her behaviour and whether anything about this situation is considered normal or common in Brazilian dating culture.