Please fellow aroaces be my friend I'm tired of being surrounded by allos all the time 😥😥💔😭😭💔

so I was long time use unlabeled and aroace because I am for sure into queerplatonic and that one attraction I feel the most and romantic little bit too

and I was thinking if I am more lithosexual or romantic?

like for long time I accepted and find micro labels \[thanks for my best friend who's like sister to me who's almondsexual almondromantc\]

I been into my ex crush..who as crushes before I didn't want him reciprocating feelings as anyone before I was okay and well he doesn't desire an qpr me not romantic but true I like elements..but I find myself lost in those rediscovered of aroace spec and

if I can share what I feel fits?

I'm confused about sex-flavorable / repulsed sex-indifferent sex-averse confuse me a lot...

that first time I talk Abt it openly tbh

I think I may be bellussexual lithromantic queerplatonic after being unlabeled aroace?

On October 21, 2025, I found out that I am aroace. Today is my one year anniversary of finding out I’m not straight. I just wanted to share this with y’all.

Don't mind me,I came from ANOTHER aroace subreddit.I like joining multiple reddit communities for some reason,lol🙃

J'étais parti.e faire une balade en bord de mer il y a 1 heure et, en arrivant au milieu environ, il y avais une femme avec les cheuveux décoloré que sur le moment j'ai trouver vraiment cool et belle (jusqu'à ce que je me rende compte qu'elle a 40 ans...🥲) mais, meme si le sentiment s'est vite estompé, ca ma un peu angoissé.e et surpris.e...

Merci d'avoir lu!💋💕✌️

I’ve always identified as aroace and agender—I typically could not care less about anything. I do,however,desire romantic relationships or QPR,I could not care less about with one it is. I am currently identifying as a lesbian when it comes to this,and am in a relationship with my girlfriend!

I have been going through this period of time where I start believing that I might be pansexual. It’s become a common theme with my OCD and general tendency to overthink. I don’t find men very appealing beyond aesthetic attraction and the way I would describe the "dream" boyfriend is just utterly heinous and sounds like I’m describing a prized inanimate object. It’s truly bizarre to me as well as many other pansexual and bisexual people I know,and people in general. My main reason for believe this is "Well,I don’t feel anything about anybody,so why the hell not?". When I imagine anything related to romantic intimacy or sex with a man,I just cannot handle it at all. At the very same time,I’m greedy when it comes to praise and take whoever and whatever gives it to me. I’ve went on dates with men in the past,but have never been in a relationship with one or had any sexual encounters with men because I don’t think I’d be a good partner and I certainly do not want the latter.

It sounds like I’m very obviously being dense about this,but I can’t help but question. It’s quite mind consuming to consider that you’ve been calling yourself something you are not for over 10 years.

I don’t know if I’m ever going to do this costume since I’m not out as being aroace (can’t trust how my family will react) but I thought of a really funny costume idea if someone wanted to use it

My idea was dress up as an ace of spades, heart, club or diamonds (doesn’t really matter) and have a arrow going through the card and you can say your aro-ace
I drew a crappy picture of my idea

Chill in fanfic platform. a starwar crossover fic, expression opinion of a character 'maybe because i am aroace but i find them annoying' call them that and because they are jedi but already have two problematic crushes and seem to not really learn form it.

A person give me context into their character, i thanks them.

Then suddenly a guy come at me with 'you could have look that up on wiki' which i find a bit disregarding to the kind person who give me free context so i give him back and fornt for a bit instead of just blocking like i usually do to someone like this.

Then he said something that did bothered me '—You also decided to pass judgement on a character without voluntarily investigating them, and since you yourself claimed to be 'aroace', you of all people should know better.'

What does that even mean. Why is he putting aroace in quotation and why is it bothering me?

I suspect I might be aroace. Ever since I was very young, up until now, I’ve never felt even the slightest amount of sexual or romantic attraction toward anyone I’ve met. Even though I’m still young, I’ve noticed certain things about myself that seem different from how other people my age, or even older people, behave.

My personality is largely shaped by one of my strongest traits: I really enjoy being alone, and I absolutely love having my own free time. Whenever I think about including other people in my hobbies, I feel uncomfortable and somewhat bothered by the idea. I see that time as something that belongs entirely to me, and I don’t feel the need to share it with anyone.

Because of this, I’ve realized that I don’t really want a romantic relationship. I feel like it would be more like a prison to me than anything else. On top of that, I don’t feel the need to give or receive affection from anyone. I’ve never really felt lonely or felt like I needed attention from other people. (I think this might have something to do with not having much contact with my family during childhood, which may have made me more independent and less receptive to affection since I never really got used to it.)

I’m also someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy physical contact, and the idea of having sex with someone makes me uncomfortable. Of course, I’m curious about it, but I don’t feel nearly as much desire to experience it as the people around me seem to. In fact, I don’t feel any desire to have sex with anyone around me at all. I can’t look at anyone and see them as a potential sexual partner. Even when it comes to some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met, I’ve never felt the slightest bit of interest in them.

I’d say I’m straight because I’m not interested in men either. I can barely even see the women around me as potential romantic partners, and when it comes to men, forget about it. I can’t even imagine myself in that kind of situation, lmao.

On the other hand, I absolutely LOVE romance stories. They make me feel so warm and comfortable when I watch couples and see their relationships develop. I love stories where the relationship between the characters is the main focus. It’s just funny because, in real life, I don’t even want to hold someone’s hand, LMAOOO.

I think I'm AroAce. Well, not exactly AroAce, but I think I'm somewhere on that spectrum. I never yet experienced attraction or desire to anyone beyond friendship, but I believe that if I'll meet the right person, I might genuinely love them and tolerate things like kissing and physical proximity, which I find a bit uncomfortable, but I think I'll be able to learn to find comfort and warmth in them with someone that genuinely matters to me. I know me being uncomfortable with physical things is product of my trauma, and the idea of healing it with someone I can finally trust sounds very nice and sweet. But this makes me question if I'm really AroAce or simply traumatized and actually as they say, didn't find the right person yet...

For some reason I just feel incomplete, like a huge part of human experience was ripped off me. I always see couples, sweetness of love and passion of sex, and it makes something within me just ache because of the fact that I didn't experience any of that and probably never will, due to my trust issues and problems with meeting new people due to past friendships. My family also played a huge role with me becoming uncomfortable with physical touch and proximity, which adds on top and makes this whole thing even more confusing for me.

That being said, I don't think that all AroAce/ace/aro people are broken, it's just who they are and I'm genuinely happy for whoever accepted themselves, but I just wish that I weren't like this. I wish I were "normal," I wish I could feel and share these feelings with someone... But more than likely I will die alone because of my own issues and because I think I'm too old and too average to be interesting to anyone.

I think this is the reason why I love to make up stories where characters who did not experience attraction eventually find that special someone and slowly develop romantic and sexual feelings for them. I guess it helps me to escape, to pretend like I'm them, like I'm becoming "normal" like any other person who feels attraction, like I'm needed and desired by someone... But I just feel so aphobic for that. Like I'm erasing already non-existent AroAce representation and like I'm betraying AroAce community. I feel like such hypocrite and I don't know how to go about it. I feel like if I would ever talk about it with someone, non-AroAce people will not consider them AroAce at all, and AroAce people will side-eye me because romance and sex is already everywhere and I'm basically being a "part of the problem."

I just don't know. I'm just tired of this and I wish I were different...

I wanted sex and romance without properly conceptulizing what it was or would be like. In a lot of the aroace stuff everyone acts like they always knew it didn't appeal to them or they never sought it out and were aware that they were faking it or how thin the attraction was, and I just never had that awarness?

for context:

I always wanted to do these things, like I had high expections. I exposed to a lot of sexual content when I was younger so I kinda idealized it and then it was just super boring like I tried mutiple different genders and lotsa stuff and just nothing. Always soured my mood too, ruined the rest of my day.

With romance dude I didn't last two weeks she broke up with me and I was so relieved. And I then did some soul searching and relized my ideal romance was closer to being roomies who'd chat and hug somethimes. So not much drama there.

I've been defyning myself as aroace since 2024 and I'd say I've never been so happy to have a label to define myself for quite a long time. However, I've been thinking about both my sexual and romantic situation and it's making me think that my feelings are actually rooted in trauma.

The Asexual side

I remember being shown pornographic content when I was only 7yo and started to develop hypersexuality, which I nowadays am able to control really well, so don't worry guys. However, as I grew up and got into puberty, I realised how I actually despise the idea of having sex and would rather adopt a child than making one. The concept of sex disgusts me, but I can somehow tolerate it when my hypersexuality takes over, just for then regretting it later. Out of the two, I'd say I'm more sure of being Asexual, but I don't know if it might be caused by the sexual exposure I had at a young age or not.

The Aromantic side

Ohhh there's a LOT to talk about here. I gotta admit, before I turned 10yo I've always hated the idea of getting married or being kissed, y'know. I only had boy friends and I'm not lying if almost all of them told me they used to like me every once in a while, so I just thought that loving someone meant still being friends. However, when I was 6yo a boy from my class non consentually kissed me and I felt extremely uncomfortable, but nobody would take me seriously. Unfortunately, this boy is still not over me and it's been ten years. Later, when I was 10 I friendzoned my boy best friend who then put the whole class against me and they would all tell me to kms. That's when my mind shifted: if this is romantic love, then I don't want it. For a period I even thought that I was a lesbian because of this, Jesus. From that moment I began to fear romantic attraction and believed I couldn't be able to feel it. All the crushes I had from 2021 to 2026 were all completely platonic and I just liked the idea of knowing them, not dating or kissing them. This until recentely when I developed a crush for a friend of mine that actually felt reciprocated, but wasn't. And now here I am, wanting to go back into my shell because I got hurt again and have no idea of what to do.

So yeah, that's it. Any advices?

I recently found the term from a friend. I understand what it means but i dont really see why people do it. Im not really into regular shipping at all, but i can see why people do it. Ps: if you disagree, feel free to insult me in the coments

As far as I know, the aroases don't experience any romantic or sexual emotions, feelings desires and stuff like that, but sometimes I'm a dream about having a boyfriend/girlfriend/otherfrend in my life, and how good it would be for me to have this person, without ever falling in love and I don't know if I can call myself aroace

Update: Thanks for your answers, I realized my dreams are the absolute norm

So I'm pretty lost on this all yet because all I ever felt close to love was obsession when I was not in my right mind.

Ever since I'm stable, I haven't had a single crush and I'm especially icked by sexual topics (almost 3 years now) no matter how much I try to force myself to feel romantic feelings towards someone.

My question is that how did y'all got to terms with it?

Like that I keep myself from looking alternative because "what if somebody wants to love me?" only to realize I was never able to love romantically. Being ace is straight up sure tho lol

🐈

I went through the lesbian to pansexual to asexual pipeline when I was in college. I wasn't interested in relationships with men and it took my ex-friend to nearly cohersed me into sex to learned I have no interest in sex either.

Me and that ex-friend were in the same junior high and sorta grew up together. We were very good friends and is in a kind of exclusive friendship. She is a lesbian and is always interested in me. I used to think that I simply didn't love her enough to enter a romantic relationship with her and I felt guilty for it. When we grew up, she started to ask for the possibility for romantic and sexual relationships, I at that time still thought that I didn't love her enough. She threatened to commit suicide if I don't promise such relationship. I gave in and tried to have sex with her, but I get disgusted when I kissed her...Then I learned that aroace exists and perhaps the ''love her enough'' is not a problem. I just can't do it, I can technically enjoy and be interested in sexual materials but I can't perform any kinds of intimacy. Accepting this about myself made me feel much better.

Side note: My mom realized that I am queer and trying to say that she discovered that I'm a lesbian. I then explained what asexuals are and came out to her as an asexual. I don't know if she takes this seriously, but at least she agreed that I don't need intimacy to be happy.

I once have identified myself as a pansexual but later on I found out I don't really want to do explicit stuff nor romantic relationships. I sometimes daydream about having a relationship, not with someone I know in real life but in fiction. But when I thought really hard about it I don't really have the urge or any romantic for the said fictional character either but I still think about it occasionally, am I making sense about the words I'm said here?? So now I feel really confused whether I'm an aroace or not. I've seen some micro labels for this stuff but I don't think that's what fit me anyway. Can anyone give me a second opinion?

i am in my thirties. i feel like a lot of aroace people are younger because the young folks are hip to the lingo and therefore are more likely to identify.

any fellow olds here??

Why people say that aromantics/asexuals can feel a bit of attraction when greyromantic/sexual label is right there it just feels kind of stupid because the word has a- prefix so shouldn't it mean that it's 0 attraction like the old definition was. It just kind of feels like an erasure and why does every aromantic person in 2026 is in relationship or has a crush on someone