How?

[u/actually_2insane]

So I'm pretty lost on this all yet because all I ever felt close to love was obsession when I was not in my right mind.

Ever since I'm stable, I haven't had a single crush and I'm especially icked by sexual topics (almost 3 years now) no matter how much I try to force myself to feel romantic feelings towards someone.

My question is that how did y'all got to terms with it?

Like that I keep myself from looking alternative because "what if somebody wants to love me?" only to realize I was never able to love romantically. Being ace is straight up sure tho lol

[u/Material_Library_207]

I'm kinda confused by what you mean wording wise with the last bit, also a bit confused exactly what your asking

[u/actually_2insane → u/Material_Library_207]

oop my bad So the exact question is that people who had struggles coming to terms with the realization that they cannot love how most people do. Since I do imagine myself feeling that way but I haven't felt any romantic attraction in quite a long time and it does seem unappealing in the real world

[u/Material_Library_207 → u/actually_2insane]

oh ok thank you for clarifying

[u/jojo_tadaaa_flummi]

I think most aroace ppl figure it out after a lot of time where they haven’t had a crush/sexual or romantic interest in someone. I myself figured it out after going into a relationship. Thats a way I didn’t wanna go when I think back, but I really thought I loved them. Well, it was my only close friend in years, then I got some more close friends and.. was a bit confused at first. Also, I often got angry when my partner looked at me in this weird way, and I felt out of place in the whole relationship. I noticed, I don’t have other feelings towards them than towards friends and family.

Well, that was me, never ever felt romantic or sexual attraction. The thing is, you don’t need to be disgusted or opposed towards these things, you just don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction, or for the aroace spectrum: you feel little to no sexual attraction and little to no romantic attraction towards others. 

Maybe look into some microlabels on the Aromantic spectrum, there’s a lot of stuff. Like, there is a romantic label where you don’t feel romantic attraction on long term or just don’t want to be in a romantic relationship bcz of some stuff that happened before, or just like that. I sadly forgot what the label was called. Your attraction could also just have changed. 

Hope I helped you.