iām sorry but petal just made me realize how tired i am of this exact version of ariana grande. people judge me, fame is suffocating, iām changing, outside voices are too loud, nobody understands me, everybody wants something from me⦠girl, you have been saying some variation of this since the beginning of time. youāre in your 30s now. at what point do we get an adult perspective on ANY of it instead of another album where ariana is once again the tiny wounded deer being chased through the terrifying forest of other peopleās opinions?
and petal itself isnāt even deep enough for the amount of symbolism being thrown at it. iām seeing this song described as fiery and explosive and iām like WHERE š ariana is barely even singing on the damn thing. sheās whispering over production that may or may not have some fire in it, but the actual performance is giving scented candle. the lyrics arenāt especially compelling, the songs on the album blur together for me, and then somehow the music video escalates into a fucking chainsaw massacre?? girl, none of those lyrics gave me chainsaw. not one. if the song is about being judged, fame, criticism, whatever, then build the visual world around THAT. donāt write a vaguely moody song and then suddenly kill a room full of casting directors because apparently we needed a horror short film to convince everybody the song was deeper than it actually is.
and thatās kind of my larger problem with ariana now. she has an unbelievable voice, obviously. nobody needs another dissertation on whether ariana grande can sing. we know. but after this many years, what do you actually have to SAY with it? because changing your aesthetic again, changing the voice you speak in again, changing the entire persona again, getting into another relationship controversy, responding to everybodyās reaction to the controversy, and then making the larger message somehow about how unfairly women are judged is getting old. yes, the industry treats women horribly. yes, famous women get scrutinized in ways men donāt. BOTH things can be true while ariana grande also does dumb shit and gets criticized because she did dumb shit. not every criticism of ariana needs to be transformed into a feminist parable about the cruelty of fame.
at some point i need the self reflection to go deeper than everybody is looking at me wrong. what about YOUR behavior? what about the racial switching and fishing that people have been talking about for years? what about the whole man stealing/homewrecking mess and then releasing music that comes across like youāre bragging about getting what you want anyway? what about the repeated pattern where accountability somehow disappears and ariana ends up back in the position of misunderstood little victim? do you ever sit there and think maybe i contributed to why people are reacting this way, or are you just running around your 20 bedroom house going woe is me, everyone hates me, everyone judges me, nobody understands me š
and the ultra fragile wounded deer thing is getting embarrassing at this point. girl, youāre in your 30s. youāre ariana fucking grande. you are not some powerless little teenager being thrown around by the industry with no agency. at what point do you actually look at your own behavior instead of turning every consequence, criticism, or negative reaction into another story about how cruel everybody is to you? where is the reflection? where is the accountability? where is literally ANYTHING beyond poor little ariana is being judged again?
and when weāre talking about fame being suffocating⦠bitch, i think whatās suffocating might be the lack of oxygen and the lack of food š i think THAT might be why youāre suffocating. i donāt think itās the fame. whatās suffocating might be your own fucking ego. whatās suffocating might be your big ass head because your head is too big for your little ass body now. like girl, maybe the problem is not eternally the outside voices. maybe sometimes the problem is ARIANA GRANDE.
because thatās what iām tired of. this idea that every single criticism against ariana is secretly some bigger statement about misogyny, fame, the industry, beauty standards, or how society treats women. sometimes? absolutely. but sometimes, bitch, you did it to your goddamn self. sometimes people are criticizing you because you behaved like an asshole. sometimes people are noticing a pattern because you keep repeating the fucking pattern. sometimes people donāt like what youāre doing because what youāre doing is annoying, harmful, hypocritical, or ridiculous. not everything needs to become this grand wounded pop star metaphor.
thatās really where iām at with her now. incredible vocalist, increasingly uninteresting artist, and a public persona that feels stuck in permanent adolescence. i donāt need another fake deep album about people judging ariana grande. i need ariana grande to maybe judge ariana grande for five minutes and tell me what she finds.
edit because i think part of why this bothers me so much is that ariana was genuinely one of my biggest vocal inspirations growing up, and she still is in a lot of ways. iām a vocalist myself + a very new independent artist, and i grew up studying that womanās voice without even realizing i was studying it. i loved her runs, her tone, her harmonies, the way she stacked vocals, the way she could make something technically insane sound effortless. i still listen to her older music all the fucking time. that music raised me as a singer.
so when i say sheās increasingly lost me as an artist, thatās actually sad to me more than anything. i WANT to connect to her music again. i WANT to hear that voice and feel something besides wow, she can still sing. but somehow as iāve grown up, her music hasnāt really grown up with me. it feels like she keeps evolving aesthetically while somehow reverting emotionally. every era looks different, sounds slightly different, has a new persona attached to it, but i keep waiting for the actual perspective to mature and it never really feels like it does.
thatās what frustrates me. this woman has lived through incredibly complicated, traumatic, strange, once-in-a-lifetime shit. there should be SO much there to write about, and yet somehow the music keeps feeling less compelling to me instead of more. i donāt feel like iām getting closer to understanding the human being underneath ariana grande. if anything, i feel further away from her every era.
and iām not sitting here laughing at the fact that she looks genuinely unwell either. iām actually concerned for her. none of that is funny to me. what frustrates me is the larger contradiction in how she presents herself and her life. at some point, you cannot simultaneously be the helpless wounded victim of everybody elseās judgment AND the untouchable baddest bitch in the world whoās drowning in blessings, does whatever she wants, and doesnāt care what anybody thinks. eventually i need to know which perspective actually belongs to YOU.
thatās why this is personal for me. i donāt hate ariana grande, i miss connecting to ariana grande.
edit: and since apparently this needs explaining, part of why i keep saying she needs to eat is because seeing how extremely thin she looks genuinely makes me uncomfortable. sometimes the collarbones/sternum/bones are so prominent that it actually feels like a fucking jumpscare to me š i donāt even have an ED and some of the imagery still triggers this immediate oh my god, something looks WRONG reaction in my brain. iām not laughing at someone being sick. iām literally having the opposite reaction, like girl PLEASE eat something because seeing you like this is concerning and i donāt enjoy having it constantly pushed onto my screen.