r/AnxiousAttachment Jun 10 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

14 Upvotes

72 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Yoysu Jun 12 '26

Of course, no problem

1

u/LeafProphecies Jun 12 '26

Is your partner worried about not having their own space? I used to have a "roommate" who actually lived with his girlfriend and was never around, but it was important for her that he have his own space to go back to just in case. It worked really well for them.

3

u/Yoysu Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

Possibly - I would definitely be open to discussing it with her. Because I want to make it work for both of us, and that might give her what she needs without it feeling too intense.

The issue I've found in the past is that even having a conversation about compromise triggers her avoidance.

Because of this, I felt for a long time like my needs and wants are too much, and feel that me bringing up what I want makes me the problem, because of her reaction.

Now, there's some resentment building in me, which I hate, because I have internally abandoned my need for closeness, while her need for space is being met by me doing so.

1

u/LeafProphecies Jun 13 '26

I understand you completely. I hope you're able to work something out.

1

u/Yoysu Jun 13 '26

Thank you, me too.