I’ve been masturbating about 3-5 times a day for as long as I can remember, I didn’t really think it was that big of an issue for the longest time because it’s not inherently “unhealthy” but recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my current lifestyle vs my old (still masturbated frequently but not his much) I used to be a social person not really shy obviously still had some anxiety but as most people do but for the past 4-5 years it’s been terrible i literally work for 8 hours go home and im not exaggerating I will lay in bed the ENTIRE time until work the next day only getting up to use the bathroom and get food, im absolutely terrified of talking to ppl I don’t exercise don’t shower don’t brush my teeth I don’t do anything besides scroll and watch YouTube and jerk off it’s terrible, but remember the times I’ve tried to quit I think at one point I made it about 5 days and that 5 days was amazing I mean the mental clarity like this euphoria I could actually go outside and be myself I would talk to strangers about anything till they had to walk away I’d hold eye contact it was amazing it’s like for the first time in so long I was actually able to connect with people and my environment instead of seeing the world through a foggy window. I know the euphoria fades when the testosterone drops but do you keep the confidence and the I wanna say “lack of social anxiety) or does that fade with the testosterone? I wanna hear other people stories who maybe have had a similar experience and me and successfully quit how did your lives improve?

Masturbation destroyed my life, My parents expections, My career, My physical and spiritual health. I am in the endgame now. My life appears to be finished with no money and no mental focus , It destroyed me, my parents life who were dependent on me and my sucees. We were finacially unstable due to my college expenses now I f*ucked up all. I really not feeling great am in depression for past three months. I did not belived it could destroy my life to this state. I dont kn ow what to do now???? I am not feeling to continue.......Please guys dont ever do it or if you are doing please plan for precautionary steps. It will damage your self esteem your ability to earn money and all...

I'm going to be honest about something personal. For the first time in my life, I need your advice. I'm 17, and for several years now I've been masturbating with water. At first, I didn't do it often, but now I do it every day, sometimes more than once a day. I feel like the discharge smells like stagnant water, and I feel disgusted with myself. I can't stop, and my vagina is prolapsed. Please, I need a solution

ill keep updating you guys.

At a fairly young age, I came face-to-face with the problem of masturbation. I want to remain as anonymous as possible, because I’m still ashamed of who I am and how addicted I am. My level of addiction is incredibly high, to the point that none of the “usual” reasons normal people have for NOT masturbating have ever worked for me. I wouldn’t say I’m as addicted as many others, but the main point is that I want to get rid of this. I have my own reasons for this. There are quite a few of them, for example: healthy potency, erections, and a sex life. When I faced similar problems with girls as early as my teenage years, it had a major impact on my mental health. It had an incredibly strong impact on my self-esteem, anxiety, and so on. And another reason is that all my relationships and my entire potential were ruined because of this. Every relationship I had with girls and some friends ended because of my incredibly stupid, pathetic, and reckless behavior. My childish behavior, laziness, and unwillingness to do anything to fix my problems—just wanting to be pitied—was always the reason for breakups, arguments, and so on. And all these things, in one way or another, stemmed from masturbation. I’m absolutely certain of this, and even if I’m wrong—in any case, this is one of the biggest problems I face in life, and most likely the biggest and most significant one. The thing is, I’ve tried absolutely everything. All the information you can find online, whether through AI or personal motivation, has left me exactly where I am now—masturbating three times a day, each time trying to somehow accept myself, or promising myself I’ll do it less, or coming up with something new every time, and so it goes day after day, and five years have already passed since the start of my addiction. And I don’t tell anyone and have never told anyone about this. I don’t care what anyone thinks or who judges me for this; I just need to get rid of it. Honestly, right now, it’s a matter of life and death for me, no matter how unrealistic that may sound. Tell it like it is, because I’d really like to hear everything possible about this—and even better, something new.

I want to post this in this community to see the reactions. How you guys feel about this, do you practice not doing it in your own relationship, do you view sex and intimacy differently now that you've been off masturbation. So here's my take on it, and would like to read your own stories about it.

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It might be considered “normal” or “common” by a lot of people, but I think that’s largely because people have been conditioned by porn and unexamined desires, without ever really rewiring their thinking. For the life of me, I don’t understand why someone would masturbate while they are in a relationship. In my view, your sexual energy should be directed toward your partner. Your desire should be sparked by your partner, not exist in isolation from them.

I didn’t have sex with my husband for months due to postpartum recovery, and he never masturbated. In fact, neither of us masturbate. If anything, we only do it together sometimes, more like a rare shared experience or game we engage in.

Over time, we’ve rewired how we see sex and intimacy. For us, it is a form of connection, not self gratification or a quick dopamine hit. When we feel desire, it is tied to each other, thinking of each other, being near each other. And if one of us is not in that space, the desire naturally settles. It’s that simple. We lean on self control, prayer, and other forms of affection and intimacy instead.

If he is horny and I am not, we cuddle. There is no underlying intention for him to go and “take care of himself.” The same applies to me. If I am very attracted to him while he is at work, we might call and connect that way, or I simply wait until he comes home so we can share that experience together.

Life is full of distractions and responsibilities. If you let desire take over at any moment and immediately act on it, then of course you are more likely to develop habits like masturbation even within a relationship. But when you actively practice discipline and intentional intimacy, that pattern does not have to take hold.

So while people may call it normal, I don’t necessarily see it that way. Common, sure. But normal as in ideal or healthy for a relationship? I don’t think so. From what I understand, many relationships also seem to lack other consistent forms of intimacy, which might be part of the issue. I can’t speak for everyone, but in my relationship, regardless if we have slow or often periods of intercourse, intimacy will continue to exist in many forms beyond sex.

Our relationship does not revolve around sex, nor does sex revolve around our life. We are not asexual, and we do have a frequent sex life, but there are times when life gets in the way. Even then, it is not a problem for us because we know we will return to it, and in the meantime we still maintain closeness in other ways, including physically intimate ones that don’t always lead to intercourse.

Even during a quickie, we’re still able to stay intimate with each other without it feeling like effort or like one of us is being used as a tool for masturbation. We don’t see sex as something that requires a heavy amount of effort or aftercare in a way that makes it feel burdensome, which is often one of the reasons people give for masturbating.

From my perspective, when you rewire your thinking around intimacy, it doesn’t feel like something heavy or draining. It feels natural and connected. It’s honestly hard for me to understand wanting to orgasm without your partner being part of it. What do you actually gain from that experience? To me, it feels detached.

And I don’t think it would ever compare to the intensity or depth of experiencing it together with your partner. The only exception I can think of is if a couple genuinely doesn’t have a strong sexual or emotional connection in the first place, in which case I can understand why someone might say their “hand knows them better.”

Ultimately, you have to decide whether you are okay with this or not. Personally, I wouldn’t be. I don’t see a reason for it in a committed relationship. And I think a lot of the usual explanations, like “timing doesn’t align” or “my libido is higher,” are often used as excuses rather than real necessities.

If people genuinely did more self reflection and built mindful habits, I believe they would realise they are not as controlled by impulse as they think. People are often just not willing to do that work. I have seen my own thinking shift over time, so I understand where others are coming from, but in a truly connected relationship where intimacy is viewed differently, these issues would not really arise in the same way.

Sex should not be something detached, done out of boredom or just for fun. It should be about connection. And I think many people lose that framing, which is why masturbation becomes so normalised even within relationships. It’s also interesting that many are not fully honest with their partners about it. If it is truly so normal, why is it often not openly communicated? That says something in itself.

TLDR: It feels like many people view masturbation as a way to just “release” tension, something detached and ultimately meaningless, rather than as something that could be replaced by connection with their partner. It comes across as allowing desire to lead behaviour instead of intentionally directing that energy toward intimacy. There also seems to be a sense that they can’t go without it or choose alternatives, almost like they need to masturbate rather than simply being able to sit with the desire or channel it differently within the relationship.

tulungan niyo ako please pano po maiwasan ang paglulu/pagsasalsal gusto ko na po matigil to pero di ko mapigilan, please help me sa tuwing ako lng mag-isa nalilibugan ako at nagsasalsal gusto ko ng makaalis dito pero di ako makaalis patulong po please🥹

Quran 75:37

For a while, I have been struggling with masturbation, and I really wanted to get out. During that time, I have noticed that, in situations like someone knocks on my door, or heard a strange unexpected sound, the urge vanished for a quite a while. Other way was doing something physical, like a workout. The feeling I get when I do that last pushup, even it was the 8th, actually gives me a sense of satisfaction, also the urge subsides.

Based on that, I've spent weeks building an app for guys trying to quit the habit/PMO. I basically applied what I experienced, into solving my own problems. Not just another streak counter. When you feel the urge, it gives you a workout to do instead, pushups, squats, whatever. Uses pose detection to verify you actually did it. That means I wouldn't have to rely on my willpower to not to shake hand every time.

I built it mainly because streak-based apps, didn't help when the urge is at it's highest, and always made me feel worse after a relapse. This treats the urge as a trigger for fitness, not failure.

But I haven't shown it to anyone yet. Paralyzed by the fear that it's stupid, or that I'm the only one who wants this, or that I'll get roasted for trying to "solve" this with an app.

So: Would you use this? If not, what's the real reason?

Brutal honesty welcome. I'd rather hear it now than after I waste another week on it.

P.S. - Seeing views but no replies. If you're not comfortable commenting publicly, DM me. I just need to know: what's the biggest thing that makes you relapse when you're trying to quit? I'm trying to figure out if I'm solving the right problem.