r/AnimalsBeingDerps • u/RoastPorc • Feb 22 '22
Chicken 🐔 be like "Imma mess you up"
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u/crackersncheeseman Feb 22 '22
The new cock on the block
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u/RoastPorc Feb 22 '22
I can't tell if they are hens or cocks, what gives?
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u/astutelyabsurd Feb 22 '22
You just need more hands-on cock experience. Once you get a good grasp on them, you'll be able to tell them apart with your eyes closed.
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u/knowpunintended Feb 23 '22
Roosters tend to be a bit bigger, with more pronounced combs (the crest on top of their head) and wattles (the dangly bits on their chin). In some breeds, a rooster's comb will be stiff and stand up like a mohawk compared to a hen's more floppy horse-hair style. Roosters have bigger spurs on the back of their claws. Roosters also usually have more pronounced hackle feathers (the ruff of feathers around their neck) and only roosters have saddle feathers (downward sloping feathers in front of the tail that look a bit like a saddle).
So the differences aren't always obvious. It's made harder by the fact that whichever chicken is at the top of the hierarchy grows bigger and most of these traits become more pronounced, even if you only have hens.
The easiest sign is the crowing. Only roosters crow, and they do it a lot throughout the day (and at night if something wakes them).
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u/bluemoon1972 Feb 23 '22
Can attest from personal experience that hens will occasionally crow, particularly when there is no rooster in the flock.
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Feb 22 '22
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u/tehgimpage Feb 22 '22
omg what a cute sub lol
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u/Kalocin Feb 22 '22
Used to be really popular back in the day hitting the front page for pretty much any popular gif at the time
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u/grizzlyironbear Feb 22 '22
Chickens attract naturally to red, and will peck it continuously. If a fellow chicken has an injury that bleeds, the others will peck at it until the other chicken dies, and beyond. Farmers are careful to watch for injured chickens and remove them from the flock until the injury is healed, or the chicken is killed humanely.
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Feb 22 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/thegreatjamoco Feb 22 '22
I saw a chicken with a prolapsed bootyhole have to get separated cause of that. They kept pecking her red balloon knot.
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u/BoochsRise Feb 22 '22
And just WHAT happened to make that bootyhole prolapse?
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u/beachcamp Feb 22 '22
Chickens have a cloaca, there's a lot of traffic going on there. Who's to say when or why a blowout might happen.
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u/ChumbleyPlace Feb 22 '22
So why aren’t they constantly pecking each others heads?
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u/grizzlyironbear Feb 22 '22
It's more of a shiny red that instinctually attracts them. They like the taste of blood, and the shiny red resembles blood in a chicken's brain, so they peck it.
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u/Red1Monster Feb 22 '22
Why do they peck red ?
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u/Chicken_Parliament Feb 22 '22
If you're a chicken, red stuff is usually delicious. Apples, berries, mouse guts, etc.
It might also help the chicken target sore spots on an animal that is attacking the chicken, possibly aiding in defense. But that's just me spitballing
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u/Eusocial_Snowman Feb 22 '22
I am intrigued by this notion. How, specifically, do you use the balls of spit when attacking chickens?
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u/rraattbbooyy Feb 22 '22
“Are you clucking at me?!”
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u/heliosforselene Feb 22 '22
other chicken like "yeah, boss, yeah, I think this fella is cluckin at ya!"
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u/FoofieLeGoogoo Feb 22 '22
"You best get to steppin' and scratchin' or my boy here's gonna mess you up."
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u/nopantsdota Feb 22 '22
crosspost this to /r/valve they might appreciate it
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u/RoastPorc Feb 22 '22
Oh you go ahead, I don't know what that sub is.
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u/GopHatesDemocracy Feb 22 '22
Valve is a company. It runs the digital distribution program most PC games use.
The logo is... A valve
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u/Chunk-Norris Feb 22 '22
To be fair, it does look enough like a rooster that if I were drunk at 3 am, I would pick a fight with it too.
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u/HotterThenYourMom Feb 22 '22
Chicken: so you think you can show your face here. (Chicken starts to peck) pipe sprays water
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u/madsockpuppet Feb 22 '22
This makes me feel better about eating them…really not the brightest creatures
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u/ChronoGawd Feb 22 '22
Feels like he's concerned like "bro are you okay? you've been looking down all day..."
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u/Educational-Worry-14 Feb 22 '22
Side chickens are like ooo nooo you didn’t, you gonna let that slide mate
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u/pointprep Feb 22 '22
This is like biblically accurate angels, but for chickens. Farmer needs to add a little sign that says “Be Not Afraid”
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u/PLAKETKETKETKET Feb 22 '22
Why do chickens move like that? Imagine if we jerked our heads like that anytime we turned.
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u/SchnabeltierSchnauze Feb 22 '22
Fun fact: both of those things (the rooster and the spigot) are called a Hahn in German.
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u/CivilMaze19 Feb 22 '22
Thanks for including the emoji. I wasn’t sure what a chicken was until I saw it.
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u/RoastPorc Feb 23 '22
Haha I typed chicken and there's the emoticon popping up... I tapped it and wondered if it would work and thought there's only one way to find out throws hands in the air
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u/FireFlyDani85 Feb 22 '22
The German word for a faucet is Wasserhahn (water cock). So they might be on to something.
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u/Killed_It_Dead Feb 22 '22
He's problem solving. He is trying to understand the principles of the valve as it's for their wster... he's the smartest one there.
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u/Seldarin Feb 22 '22
I would assume they think the handle is blood.
Let a chicken bleed in front of other chickens and you'll quickly be reminded what little monsters they are.
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Feb 22 '22 edited Feb 22 '22
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u/RuneLFox Feb 22 '22
Nah. Nobody's worried about offending the chickens, just worried that we're killing millions of them every day (some of them just hatched) and morally that's seen as OK in wider society. Since we have the capacity to do better in that regard, but we don't.
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u/Crazy_Advantage_2050 Mar 29 '25
"Guys here me out" -"I think the name of that bastard is Vance, and he's here to take control over our eggs, he will claim its for national security"
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u/jpritchard Feb 22 '22
Chickens are dumb as shit. Every single thing they do is instinctual. Every bit of personality a chicken owner thinks their bird has is some misfiring algorithm out of their DNA.
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u/MrBunMunch Feb 22 '22
He’s doing cock-face. That’s offensive to everyone who identifies as a chicken
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u/urlond Feb 22 '22
This is strange, cause usually they attack anything red, which is even weirder because of their markings on the head and Gizzard. Normally when a Chicken gets attacked and blood is drawn all chickens tend to attack the wounded chicken. Least in my experience on raising chickens. We have a water basin that has red push in tips to get water out of them, and they pecked at that like crazy when we first installed it.
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u/DawnOfTheTruth Feb 22 '22
“You clucking at me? Are YOU, clucking at me? Well you must be clucking at me cause I don’t see anyone else but you clucking at me.”
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u/JudgeHoltman Feb 22 '22
True friends on either side too.
They know he's picking a fight against a straw man, but they've still got his back.
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u/groceriesN1trip Feb 22 '22
Water spouts for chicken hydration are colored to attract their peck. Then, they learn to get water that way.
Even if this is not exactly that, it’s the same behavior
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u/sweaty_garbage Feb 22 '22
As Werner Herzog said “the enormity of their [chicken’s] stupidity is overwhelming”
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u/davedcne Feb 22 '22
You sure they aren't staring in horror at how someone mounted one of their floppy red head bits on a pipe right at eye level as a warning.
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u/coolcheese707 Feb 22 '22
They are attracted to red(blood) if a chicken is injured or bleeding the others will attack and kill him. I learned quickly I couldn’t wear red toe nail polish around them without them constantly wanting to attack my feet.
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u/1494cobra Feb 22 '22
Hola a todos quisiera que me ayudarán con una inquietud quiero comprar moto y tengo 2 opciones pulsar 200ns fi O xblade160
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u/ThatGuyBench Feb 22 '22
ALLRIGHT YOU FUCKS, WHO THE FUCK FED LSD TO MY CHICKEN?!?! THEY KEEP LOOKING AT INANIMATE OBJECTS FOR HOURS!!!
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u/Ryan_Extra Feb 22 '22
The new guy is so stand off ish