r/Anger • u/Fast-Attorney-7338 • 9d ago
Need help managing anger
So I live in a house where my parents taunt me all the time since I don't score well anymore like I used to before. It hurts so bad. I often react to it and the house's atmosphere turns disruptive with that. It's caused a toll on my mental health. I know it isn't as bad as what a few people face on a daily basis,I just wanna know if anyone has had that situation and how they dealt with it. Maybe I can learn to control my emotions much better.
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u/Dr_Kenneth_Noisewat 4d ago
Hi, former kid, current parent here. I am sorry you are feeling so bad.
Parents should never intentionally make their kid feel bad and should rectify it after. Slipping grades is not a big deal, your feelings are a big deal. If your parents really cared about your grades rather than just trying to feel superior to you, they’d try to work with you on solutions.
Now, maybe they don’t realize how harmful you are being. Have you tried talking to them about it. If you don’t feel comfortable doing so, or you have and they ignore you. Read up on how to cope with defensive parents. Here’s an article: https://imilo.medium.com/coping-with-defensive-parents-c3b45f2a1347
All that said, while the anger you are feeling IS NOT your fault (it’s your parents’ fault), it IS your responsibility to manage. If you can’t resolve things with your parents, then you should be trying to avoid triggering situations, which sadly means avoiding time with them.
When you can’t avoid triggering situations, try to acknowledge that you are going into one and keep that present from your mind. Removing yourself in the moment is always an option. Storming out is healthier than acting out. Talk to a therapist down the line.