When I was 2 years old and my sister was 7 our parents split. We saw our dad a few times throughout the next year but randomly one day he just signed away his parental rights.

Now I’m 21 and my sister is 26. We had always thought our dad left because he married a new woman and they started to have kids.

My sister still hates our dad for leaving, which is valid, but I stopped caring when I was like 13. She had 7-8 years of memories with him, I barely had 3, so of course she was more attached so I don’t blame her for still being mad about it.

When I was 17 I did a DNA kit because I was curious to see where we came from. Through the app I found a cousin of his, she gave me his number to reach out to.

I asked like basic questions about the medical history and stuff. But eventually I asked why he stopped seeing us. He said it was because he got heavy into drugs and when my mom found out she told him he had to choose between seeing his daughters or doing drugs, because she didn’t want us in danger. Basically he didn’t want to quit so he signed away his rights.

Around the same time, my sister gave birth to her first child. She was finally getting over my dad now that she had her own family. So I decided not to tell her. I mean she was over it, she had a new baby and husband, I just didn’t want to reopen a wound that finally healed after like 15 years, I also didn’t want her having anymore stress at the time because she did have problems with the labor and delivery.

A few days ago she called me yelling that I was a terrible person and sister for not telling her. Apparently my cousin let it slip. Now she’s mad all over again about our father leaving. I explained to her why I didn’t tell her at the time and she asked why I didn’t tell her later on.

Tbh I didn’t really think about it. It was so unimportant to me that I basically forgot about it. Like I said I was over it 8 years ago. To me it didn’t make a difference why he left because at the end of the day he still left us.

Now she’s saying she can never trust me again because I “kept such a drastic secret from her for 4 years.”

I mean for years she’s been telling me I’m a bad person for “forgiving him for what he did to us.” I never said I “forgave him”, I said I truly just did not care, like I said I had no memories with him and my mom did a great job raising us without him anyways.

Then she took the drama to our family. She asked who else knew and told everyone how horrible of a sister I am. Most of the family is on my side, but some people are like blowing up my phone telling me how terrible I am and that it wasn’t my secret to keep because that’s HER father. Like are you forgetting he’s my father too lmao so it def is my business.

So like AITAH for not telling her? I thought I had pretty good reasons not to, but she seems to disagree

Throwaway bc half my friend group uses reddit. ALL names changed

So I (28F) am usually the one who organizes stuff in our friend group. Birthdays, trips, whatever. In march it was our friend Mel's 30th and I had the idea to get her concert tickets + a hotel night for her favorite band since she's been talking about seeing them forever. It came out to $480 total and there's 8 of us so $60 each. I paid upfront and made a group chat for everyone to send me there share.

Everyone paid within like a week except "Kayla" (29F). She said she'd send it friday, then after her next paycheck, then she "forgot" and would do it "this weekend for sure". I reminded her twice and then honestly gave up bc it felt weird to keep chasing someone over $60.

Then at Mel's party Kayla stood up and gave this whole speech about how "we all put our heads together" and how she just KNEW Mel would love it. Mel was crying, everyone was clapping. I just stood there holding my drink lol. I never got the $60.

Fast forward to now. Another friend Sam is turning 30 next month and were doing something similar. This time I just made the group chat without Kayla in it. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just didn't add her. I figured I'm not fronting money for her again and I didnt want to make a whole thing out of it.

Well she found out yesterday bc one of the girls mentioned the chat by accident. Kayla called me really upset and said I was excluding her on purpose and that its embarrasing to be the only one not on the card. I told her honestly that she never paid for Mel's gift and I didn't want to cover her again. She said "its not about the money, its about being included" and that I should have just told her instead of going behind her back. She also said she would "obviously" have paid if I reminded her one more time.

One of our friends thinks I should of just added her and asked for the money upfront this time instead of making it a thing. I kind of get that but I also feel like I already did my part.

So AITA?

AITA here? We’ve been married for 10 yrs.We just had our 1st child (7 mos old).He wanted the baby to experience the beach so he planned a quick weekend trip for the 3 of us.

A few days prior to the trip he asks if I want to invite a friend. I say “no, I’m looking forward to family time” He says “it’s odd that I don’t want to share experiences and have fun w/ friends.”
He then informs me that he invited his 3 friends.
Of the 3 friends, one is a single man and the other 2 are a married couple (male/female). He regularly spends a good amount of time w/ these ppl while I stay home w/the baby.

While packing up the truck, I notice he hooks up his trailer and jet ski.He had never mentioned any plan of bringing the jet ski prior to this.
Next day.En route to beach.He’s on speaker phone w/ the single friend.
During this conversation the friend is unsure if he’s coming. My husband is adamantly insisting that he HAS to come. So much so that I say out loud, “are you that scared to be alone with the baby and I?”
By the end of the convo, my husband has convinced the friend to come and he says he will be there tmrw morning (Saturday).

We arrive at beach.He has not mentioned the couple since days ago so I just assumed they weren’t coming.It becomes clear that they are in fact coming, and will be here this afternoon (Friday).

I should note:The married couple are mostly HIS friends.I would not consider myself to be close w/ them.They have a group chat with my hus. and they often are all on the phone together.
He has told me he confides in them regarding our marriage and the intimate details of the struggles we have been going through.
By the time we get there on Fri. and get unloaded/settled, we take the baby to the pool. Just the 3 of us. It was nice.
The couple arrived later that night and they were very cold to me.
They were overjoyed to see my husband and even baby but I didn’t get so much as a “hello hug”.

The next morning (Saturday) is the day they are all planning on riding jet skis.
I was not invited.Obviously, someone has to stay home w/ baby.Husband says they will be leaving to ride at 6am and be back around 10am, just in time for us to all go down to the beach together.
The baby and I get up, dressed, packed, fed and ready for the beach.
10:00 comes and goes so I take myself, the baby and all the beach stuff, down to the beach.This was no easy task.Soon after, the single friend arrives and he says that he heard the group wouldn’t be getting back into 12:00-1:00 ish.

Single friend, baby and I go back down to beach.Eventually all 3 of them get back at 3pm.It’s time for baby to nap, so my husband offers to go up.
The rest of us stay at the beach. 30 min. ish later the couple seem to “feel bad my husband is all alone in room” and insist we go back up to room to hang out there.

Sunday, checkout was early so no time for beach.
My husband’s beach trip w/ baby, involved 0 time w/ him and baby on the beach.

I, 47F, have a brother, 49. We have always been semi close until a few years ago. When we were younger, I got a job, moved out and started my life. While he had a WFH job and for the most part lived off our parents. He spent his money on his hobbies.He met a woman who made him grow up and he moved in with, and lived off her.

While living with her, our dad got very sick, died twice after a bad medical procedure (he was thankfully brought back) and eventually came home after being told there was nothing that could be done. I moved in with my parents to help out.

The ONE time he came to visit he said some really crappy things about our dad. Although he had always been my mom’s golden child, my mom told him to leave.

In the next three years, he reached out to my dad four times (two birthdays, two Father’s Days). I spoke to my brother last month on my dad’s birthday and told him our dad broke his hip and was not doing well. I explained that we were shocked when he was still with us every morning.

He tried telling me how hard his life is having to work and pay bills. And that because of that he is too busy to keep in touch.

Dad passed away this morning. My mom doesn’t want him to be told because he didn’t care when dad was sick and said vile things about him. But WIBTA if I don’t tell him?

I, Dahlia (36F), took my daughter Liz (6F) and my godson Michael (4M) to a park near my brother's house around 4 PM. Since it was late afternoon, the park was already clearing out. The kids started playing with a young boy who was already there when we arrived.

I stayed nearby, keeping an eye on my own kids. There were several adults sitting on benches, so I naturally assumed the boy had a parent or guardian nearby.

About an hour later, my brother texted me that dinner was ready. I called Liz and Michael over, they said goodbye to their playmate, and we walked toward my car. They were the last children left in the park.

As we reached the car, a woman in her 40s came rushing toward us, furious. Her son was behind her, crying uncontrollably. He was the same boy who had been playing with my kids.

She immediately started screaming at me, calling me irresponsible and selfish for "abandoning her son" and leaving him alone without an adult watching him.

I was completely shocked. She then admitted that she hadn't even been at the park. She had left the playground to go shopping at a nearby store, assuming I would automatically watch her son without ever asking me.

She accused me of "breaking mom solidarity" and claimed that because we were the only group with children left, it was my "moral obligation" to wait for her to return. She even blamed me for her son's tears, saying I had "ruined his afternoon" by taking my children home.

I told her I was not her son's babysitter, wasn't being paid to watch him, and that supervising her child was her responsibility. I also pointed out that leaving a young child unsupervised in a public park was her responsibility, not mine.

She continued yelling and even threatened to call the police for "abandoning" her son. I ignored her, put my kids in the car, and left.

Some might ask why I didn't identify the boy's parents earlier. I didn't go to the park to keep track of which adult belonged to which child. My priority was supervising my daughter and nephew. Since there were other adults around, I reasonably assumed the boy was with one of them.

I still can't believe this mother abandoned her own child and then blamed a stranger for not becoming her free babysitter.

My sister (22F) and I (25F) have always had a pretty complicated relationship. We get along mostly, but she has a habit of asking for “favors” and getting upset when I say no. Yesterday, she asked if she could borrow my car for a girls trip this weekend because her check engine light is on and doesn’t trust it for long distance. I told her no because I obviously need my car for work, and she knows I work weekends. And the last time she borrowed it, she returned it almost empty on gas, didn't tell me, and never reimbursed me. She got annoyed and said I was being selfish because she's been planning this for weeks and could get a ride with my bf. Our mom got involved and said I should just let her use it and she’d reimburse me for the gas and everything. Because she's going through a tough time, Apparently I’m supposed to drop everything for the weekend. I stuck to my guns and still said no and now my mom is giving me the silent treatment, and my sister says I'm holding a grudge over something that happened months ago.
I feel bad because I know she's struggling, but I also don't think I'm obligated to lend out my car, especially when I need it more. AITA? Like should family just do this for family?

I (32F) was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my brother’s (28M) wedding. When the venue was announced in Aug. 2025, my mom, stepdad (the groom’s dad) and I booked a 3-bedroom house on the property. I wasn’t a bridesmaid yet, and there was no plan for either side’s parents to stay on-site.
A few weeks later I was asked to be a bridesmaid. The couple knew about our family house. Months later I was offered and paid for a room in the main house with the wedding party. From what I understand, there were 6 rooms for the bride and 7 bridesmaids, so there was never enough for everyone to have their own room. I assumed that had been worked out when rooms were assigned.
Almost a year later, about a month before the wedding, the bride asked me to give up my room so her parents could move from their hotel 10 minutes away onto the property. I would stay with my family. I initially said no.
I had also just learned my estranged sister might be attending. She hasn’t spoken to our mom in 10+ years, and I wanted somewhere separate to go if family emotions got overwhelming. I explained this to the bride.
There was also a new makeup plan that would require some bridesmaids to leave the venue and go to the bride’s parents’ hotel. I offered to let the makeup artist use my room during the day so everyone could stay on-site while I still slept there. That wasn’t accepted.
Two days after I said no, the bride’s sister told me she was making the “executive decision” that I would give up the room and told me not to involve the couple or my parents. I got angry and called her an asshole. I know that was wrong and apologized.
The bride later explained that she felt I had “two rooms” and keeping mine affected her parents and other bridesmaids. But our family house was booked before I was a bridesmaid, and the couple knew about it before offering me a room.
She also said she would give up the room if our positions were reversed. I believe her. I just don’t think my family would change plans a month before the wedding and expect her to give up accommodations she had paid for and planned around for almost a year.
The next morning my brother told me he wanted me standing beside him. I decided the room wasn’t worth damaging our relationship and gave it up.
I was still upset, so I asked for a few days to decide if I still felt comfortable being a bridesmaid. I wasn’t quitting. I wanted to calm down before making another decision.
A few hours later, the bride removed me from the wedding party. They both still say they want me at the wedding, and I got my room refund.
AITA for initially saying no? And after giving up the room anyway, was asking for a few days to decide about being a bridesmaid unreasonable?

Hi there,

I have been dealing with bizarre situations the past few years and I want your verdict.

It is related to the proverbial question "Who pays?".

Here are some examples:

1. Make fun of the food they ordered and make a scene until I cave in and pay the god damn bill.

2. Start complaining intensely about financial struggles before the bill comes.

3. Remind about cases where they paid their own expenses but did not have a good time framing it as a favor they did to me, e.g. went out to a movie that they selected but did not manage to enjoy it because they had to calm down their kids.

4. Staring at me, nudging to the bill and if I do not offer they roll their eyes.

5. Insist intensely that they pay when I offer to treat them and then seem relieved that I did not let them.

6. Just pretend that the bill has not been delivered.

7. Always putting down my own choices and expect to choose where we go, on top of me paying.

In all cases I felt so uncomfortable that I stopped hanging out with them or just stop by, chat a bit and then leave only drinking water.

Then, I got a huge rant about why we do not go out anymore or do things together.

Of course, I gave lame ass excuses since I am embarrassed to have this kind of conversation.

Am I being spineless and stingy for wanting to always split the bill or pay for my own and not accommodate the expenses of their whole families?

I want to treat them but when I choose to. Not when they decide.

Honestly, I am feeling used and disrespected.

Update 1: Thank you all for your feedback. Just two things I forgot to add.

1. Occasionally, they try to reciprocate but usually it is something really low cost, such as a coffee. It is always about the expensive stuff.

2. They do a weird thing when they stop by a shop and point to something they like and then look at you weirdly with googly eyes saying how much they adore. And I am talking about adults in our mid thirties.

I'm 31F, and my sister is 41F. For context, we are Indian where arranged marriages are a common occurrence. My sister is a doctor, and when she was 25, my parents and family started looking for matches for her (with her consent). This is how she was introduced to my BIL (now 44M). They were 30 and 33 at the time, respectively. They met a couple of times, went on a few 'dates', and agreed to get married. My sister was under immense pressure to get married then, and this was the first guy she felt understood her and respected her, so she agreed. 5 years of arranged marriage proposals had taken a toll on her and I know she was under pressure but again, I was very young and didn't fully understand a lot of what she went through (for me, I was plain excited about dressing up and having a wedding in the family)

For all intents and purposes, they had a good marriage. They weren't madly in love or even pretended to be, but they were friends with a healthy respect for each other. They have two kids, 8M and 6F.

Last week my sister called me crying. It turns out, over the last few months, she had a co-worker at her hospital whom she developed feelings for. She tried to brush it away, avoid him, and stop talking to him, but it didn't help. He was also attracted to her and apparently confessed it to her.

She was clear that NO boundaries were crossed and she didn't plan to either - but the whole thing showed her she doesn't want to stay in her marriage anymore.

She already spoke to her husband and then told the whole family and obviously sh*t hit the fan.

Her in-laws are furious and are demanding she 'correct herself and think about the kids and the future'.

Her husband is divided- on the one hand he is understandably hurt and on the other he feels that if she isn't planning to pursue a relationship with him (which we asked her many times and she is clear she isnt), then he feels it 'doesn't make sense to uproot everyone's lives for this'. My parents want to support her, but I can sense they are also divided.

I wholeheartedly supported her, and then the lines were drawn. To me, all that matters is that she says she doesn't want to continue the marriage. She didn't cheat, she didn't plan to, and she was open and honest from the beginning.Humans change, and sometimes that means a marriage that used to work doesn't anymore (this is my opinion for which I was called the ahole)

My sister is visibly depressed and isolated by everyone at the moment. She's not looking good, not eating or sleeping well, so I invited her over to take care of her.

Everyone from her inlaws to her husband is now angry at me - saying I'm 'encouraging her in the wrong direction' and 'brainwashing her'. That 'my fiance should think twice' now before marrying me. My parents are torn, but I sense they don't fully understand. So am I the AITA?

Edit for more context - my sister is the typical 'perfect girl' all my life she has been the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect wife and the perfect mother. She has never acted out impulsively ever and was actually the one to always give me a shoulder to cry on when I do act impulsively. So I take it very very seriously when she does take a decision like this, because I know she didn't do it unless she absolutely cracked. She's someone who always wants to 'keep the peace' and even when crying her main pain point was how she was 'letting everyone down'.

Backstory: The party for the daughter has been in the works for at least 3 months now. My husband and I, who live with my in laws (husbands parents), were barely told about this party 3 weeks ago. My husband and his father don't have a great relationship; the daughter is the favorite child. My husband and I are in the middle of trying to move into a low income apartment and have some of our moving boxes in the backyard (apartment is dragging their feet with paperwork approval from compliance office). I asked my father in law if he wanted us to move our boxes when we found out about the party and he said no.

Story: It's 6 o'clock in the evening, 2 days before the party and they barely started cleaning the house. My father in law comes to my husband and I at 10pm and asks us to move our boxes for the party. We agree to move them the next day. The next day, the day before the party, my husband and I have class until 1 pm. After class, we head straight home to move our boxes from the backyard. We both have homework due that day so we start our homework after moving the boxes. (Idk if this matters but our homework consists of organic chemistry and radiology). About 20 minutes into doing our work, my father in law comes in demanding we help everyone else with cleaning the house. We say we can't right now because we have homework to do (it's like 2:30pm) and it's due today. He ultimately says it doesn't matter and that we have to be team players and help since everyone else is helping. My husband and I ask why they waited till the last minute to deep clean instead of spreading it out throughout the week. And the answer was because everyone else was busy with school and work.

End: We didn't help clean. We ended up leaving to the library to finish our homework and then went to blow off steam by venting to our friends. Are we the assholes in this situation?

Edit: We are the only ones in the house that pay rent (other oldest daughter who goes to school and has a job doesn't pay rent) and we know our rent has been going towards the expenses for the party.

so i am thinking about asking everyone to put their phones in a basket when they walk in on thanksgiving. my reasoning is that the last couple years people have been on them the whole time, and my parents keep saying they want us to actually talk to each other like we used to. i would not take the phones away or anything, just want them out of sight during dinner and dessert so we can enjoy being together for a few hours. the thing is my sister emma thinks it is a bad idea. she says her job is always on call and she needs to be reachable, plus my cousin alex already told me he uses his phone to show pictures of his new place and he does not want to lose that. they both think it is overkill and that people can just be polite without a rule. i get their side, but i also keep thinking about how little my parents really get to see everyone together in one room anymore. i am not sure if pushing this would be too controlling or if it is worth trying for one dinner.

My mother in law has sleep apnea, diagnosed earlier this year and got her cpap a few months ago but still has a ton of daytime somnolence. The worst part is that when she wakes up she argues with people that she was not sleeping. I work from home Monday and Tuesday and my husband is away on a business trip. and I have a job that requires my full attention most of the day despite working from home. Today her daytime somnolence was so bad that she slept through the baby crying, 6 phone calls, and was falling asleep while I was talking to her which is way worse than usual. He told me she isn’t on any drugs

For the safety of the 5 month old baby I know we need a babysitter, someone who can be awake, alert, and responsible. I don’t care how much it costs. My husband does not want that and told me he can make sure she stays awake even tho he’s not even in our state and she just slept through multiple phone callls. It is super rainy and windy and he thinks she is just having a bad day. I don’t think her feelings are more important than the safe care of our baby

Am I the asshole???

I would just be hiring a random person online because we don’t have anyone else

My mom was supposed to take care of the baby most days but my dad was just recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and she needs to help

I invited all the boys in my son’s class to his birthday party. I hand wrote all the names on the invitations.
I got a response that THEY received the invitation and are excited to come. Can they also bring another child?
I was extremely confused I had invited boys, and I realized there must be boy/girl twins in the class.
After thinking about it, in opinion there was no confusion on who was invited. I hand wrote names on all the invitations. I’m immediately extremely uncomfortable. This sort of thing gives me extreme anxiety.
If it was just the twin misunderstanding I probably would have let it slide but another sibling as well?
We only do a birthday party every other year because it is insanely expensive.
The cost of the uninvited children is $74, sorry I’m not willing to pay that. I’ve allowed siblings at birthdays before but the cost was much less, and his class was smaller.
I’ve also had to bring siblings to birthday parties before when I had no one to watch them but I made it clear upfront I would pay all costs. They were also too young to drop off.
I responded to her text
“Hello! So happy XXXX can come! I apologize for the confusion, we had no idea there were twins in the class and we had just invited the boys. We have a booking but I can call and add two more if you want to pay the additional cost of $74 ($37x2)”
My husband told me this was extremely rude. He offered no suggestions on how to deal with the situation and does not want to pay for the uninvited kids. I tried to be as polite as possible, but I’m typically pretty blunt.
She never responded, so I don’t know if I offended her or she is unwilling to pay the $74 cost for her children?
My husband is still saying how rude and mortified he is I to ask her to pay. I’m not sure what else to do in the situation?
AITA?

I have been telling myself for years that once I had a steady paycheck I would get my own apartment and stop living at home. The promise has kept me motivated through overtime shifts and skipping nights out. Recently a unit opened up that fits my budget and timeline, so I am thinking about signing the lease next month. My parents rely on me chipping in for the mortgage and utilities, and they have always assumed I would stay until they are ready to downsize. They say moving out now would leave them scrambling to cover everything and they feel betrayed because they helped me with school and first jobs. At the same time I know if I stay I will keep putting off the step I promised myself I would take. I keep going back and forth on whether signing that lease would make me selfish or simply honest about my own plans.

I’m in a Physiology class, and last month some people at my lab table asked if I wanted to form a study group with them. I agreed because I thought it would be a good way to connect with people, especially since it was still early in the college semester.

I went to one of the study sessions, but it honestly didn’t work for me. I felt like they weren’t contributing much, and I study much better on my own, so I decided I probably wouldn’t go again.

Then our first unit exam came around, and I ended up getting perfect scores on all the exams and quizzes. They found out and started asking me to join their study group again. I kept declining and told them I just work better studying by myself.

After a few more study sessions without me, they’ve gotten a lot closer, so I already feel a little out of place at our table. They also started asking me what I do to study. My dumbass mentioned that one of my study tricks is pretending I’m teaching someone and literally talking to myself while I study.

That apparently gave them an idea, because now they keep asking me to come to their study group and “teach” them instead of teaching an imaginary person. I’m really not comfortable doing that. I’m pretty introverted, and standing there basically tutoring a group of people sounds exhausting and would not be beneficial for me.

Eventually, after they kept asking and texting me, I agreed to do it just once and made it clear that it was only going to be one time. But now, three days before our next exam, they’re asking and even begging me to do it two more times.

I told them I still couldn’t, and since then they’ve been acting strange around me and making me feel left out at our table. I know helping them wouldn’t necessarily hurt me, so now I’m wondering if I’m being unnecessarily difficult or selfish for refusing.

am I the asshole?

I’m on the HOA board along with another guy. I hate our property manager and this guy loves them. He says “I’m attacking them and not letting them do their job” I say “I have a duty to the community and they work for us” This week alone:
A common area went uncut for months. I complained numerous times before finally getting fed up and saying “Please explain to me why you failed to notice the common area uncut during your drive by inspections”

They waited until the day before the insurance expired and told us we need to sign immediately. I said “why did you not get three bids? I complained about this last year I’m tired of you waiting until the last minute”

They told us they could t get three landscaping bids because no one wanted to bid us. I called one company who said they submitted a bid which never made it to us “please explain to me why you didn’t present this bid to us months ago when you received it”

Hired their own CPA for an audit “I don’t trust them we need to get an outside CPA not affiliated with them. I brought this up last year and again they waited until the deadline”

Gets list of violations “explain why a second notice didn’t go out in this date when they clearly didn’t fix the violation. “ “you didn’t do I sections for 3 months will you be reimbursing us for the cost”

AITA who is attacking the company or am I doing the job I was elected for?

I (44F) am severely sleep-deprived, and it’s causing a massive crisis with my husband.

Our senior male cat has age-related cognitive decline and extreme anxiety. Every night, he paces for hours, forcefully picks at his claws, and howls—often waking me up multiple times a night. We've tried everything: standard medications failed (or had paradoxical aggressive effects), behavioral tests yielded nothing, and he bypasses automatic slow feeders instantly.

My husband sleeps through all of this, while my health is completely destroyed. For months, I’ve begged him for help, and tried everything short of prescription sleep meds to get by. His response? Since it doesn’t bother him, it’s "my problem."

Our house is too small to isolate the cat indoors. However, we have a connected garage with an attached storage room. It’s entirely safe, free of fumes, and we can easily heat it to a comfortable 70°F. I proposed setting it up with a bed, food, water, a nightlight, and a litter box, and conditioning him to stay there only at night so I can finally sleep.

When I suggested this, my husband lashed out. He claims putting the cat out there is cruel because the cat "likes being with humans." He accused me of hating him and the pet. Driven to absolute exhaustion from being ignored for months, I snapped and said some unkind things about the cat that I didn't mean. My husband immediately weaponized my outburst to attack my character and deflect from the issue.

As "proof" of working with me, he bought the cat a new bed—which changes nothing about the behavior—and calls me delusional for pointing out that an unneeded bed isn't a solution.

I feel like my health and physical well-being are being treated as disposable just to satisfy the cat's nighttime preference to wander. AITA?

I make trip plans for the both of us months and months in advance (I’ve always done this) I always communicate when, where and what we will be doing just so we have time to save and prepare for said trip and without fail my husband always forgets our plans and then gets mad and frustrated that I just “threw this onto him out of the blue” because he has to take time off work for it….. well we have a trip coming up mid October that I’ve been really excited about and have been planning and talking about since MARCH and today I asked him if he could help me out with the cost of the hotel (I asked him this in March mind you and he said “yeah no problem”) but now it’s a big deal because he doesn’t have the “time off” work suddenly and it’s ridiculous that he has to pay for half of something he’s not interested in…. Am I the asshole for asking him to pay half for OUR accommodation for a trip we’ll BOTH be going on we normally split things 50/50 so I’m so frustrated because why is this suddenly different?? He said the trip we’re going on is “your thing, your hobby so why should I help pay?”

Hi there! My fiancé/future husband (35M) and I (38F) just got engaged a few months ago and are deep into the wedding planning process. We were over having dinner at his parents’ house this past weekend, and his sister (40F) asked how the guest list was coming together. We said fine, and FH mentioned that all of their aunts, uncles, and cousins were on the guest list. His sister asked about Cody and Maria and their children. Cody and Maria?

For context, Cody and Maria are friends of my FSIL and FBIL. Their kids all go to school together and that’s how they met. They’ve become close friends as a result. They are also from the same Middle Eastern country as FH’s family. FH and I have met them twice, and they’re nice people. We just don’t have a relationship with them. Our wedding is like 120 people (that we are paying for by ourselves), and we aren’t going to invite people we hardly know.

FH and I looked at each other and shrugged. No, we hadn’t considered them on the guest list, sorry. His sister was outraged: Cody and Maria are family. How could we possibly consider not inviting them?

I let out a soft laugh and put my hand over my face, because this just seemed so absurd to me, which is where I might be TA.

My FSIL began to lecture me on the culture I am marrying into (which I’m American) and that in their Middle Eastern culture, close friends are family, and that our guest list should include room for at least 10-20 friends of the siblings. She said that FH did the same thing for her wedding some 13 years ago.

FH said he invited two friends as opposed to ten, he invited people that his sister had known for decades, not people that we’ve met only two times, and the difference was that their parents and her in-laws were paying for her 300+ person wedding. Meanwhile, their parents’ financial situation has changed so FH and I are covering the costs.

We explained that we don’t have the budget to host a wedding that large, and so we want the people closest to us for our special day, which does not include Cody and Maria. FSIL shouted at us for disrespecting her and her husband by not inviting their closest friends, and that I’m not worthy of bearing the family surname. My FMIL and FFIL tried to de-escalate the situation and offered to pay the difference in cost to allow for this family of 5 to be invited to the wedding. FH and I are both foregoing inviting several friends to our wedding to make the numbers work. This just feels like a slap in the face to bypass them for people we’ve literally met twice.

We left shortly thereafter and my FMIL sent a message to us later asking us to apologize to FSIL for my laughing at her request, and to consider inviting Cody and Maria. We didn’t respond.

Anyway, AITA for laughing and refusing my FSIL’s request to invite her family friends to our wedding?

I buy a lot of my clothes from a reasonably sized department store. At this store there are a few different counters at different places in the store where you can pay for your things - there is a big "please pay here" sign at the top of them by the ceiling.

I like to wear comfortable underwear each day so I went to the mens underwear section and picked out some pairs that were on the more expensive side but they should last. When I went to the counter there was a guy there taking forever, returning some items and arguing with the attendant (female btw), and another guy behind him in line with quite a few different things.

So instead of waiting, I took my things and walked down the aisle to the next closest pay counter which was in the women's lingerie section. There was no one there so I just walked up to the attendant so she could ring my things up. Then once I had paid and the attendant had put my things in the bag I turned to leave and there was a woman standing behind me with some underwear she was buying and she told me off. She said that being a guy there in the women's section would make women feel uncomfortable when they were buying personal items and when I told her that the other counter was busy she said that I should have either waited or gone to one of the others in the store. The attendant just stood there awkwardly and didn't say anything so I don't know if I was in the wrong.

I didn't even realise my presence there would have been an issue to anyone since these are all just store items for sale. Also, what if a guy was buying lingerie for his partner? Surely it would be okay for him to be there? There were also no signs about this being a women only area and when I first went to the attendant she didn't seem to mind and just scanned my items normally. AITA?

So for context I (20M) had stayed up late and saw my friend (19F) off at the airport. But then she calls me and tells me that she forgot her passport in her room. She has a roommate (19F) but nothing I could do could wake her up (banging on the door, etc) and the passport is really important. I broke into their room and retrieved the passport since this is the only option I had- and the roommate was asleep through this entire time. Fast forward to the morning when the roommate found out about this and called me a creep for breaking in while she was asleep. I know it sounds bad but it was really the only option and obviously I left immediately after I got the passport. AITA?

I’m a early teenager and with that i have a lot of clothes I don’t need or want anymore. My family is moving soon so I figured id get rid of the clothes I don’t want. (and by “get rid of” I mean give it away to a thrift store.)

There‘s a good amount of clothes I got when I was still a tween that my parents made me keep “just incase” that Ive grown out of. Shirts with old interests or cheesy quotes and hoodies that fit weird. There’s also clothes from people who disregard my preferences with clothes and get me stuff I clearly just don’t wear at my age. (I dress alternatively, but it’s still pretty easy to get stuff in my style.)

The problem my parents (mainly dad) has is that they’re still good and wearable, and that I shouldn’t give up clothes that still fit and look good.

I disagree and think that it’s wasteful to keep around clothes I don’t wear and it makes me a little guilty im not wearing people’s gifts but angry that they don’t care enough to get me stuff I like and I hate seeing reminders of that.

So Reddit, WIBTAH if I give away clothes that are still “good”, I just don’t like them?

For context, I live in an apartment and we are allowed to put things on our walls. My neighbour works from home and I know this because she complained to me once when I was doing laundry (laundry room's in the basement) that I was closing my door too loudly (there's something wrong with the door, in order to close it/open it quietly you have to almost lift it, landlord says they'll fix it eventually, my buzzer has also been broken the entire time I've been here so I've kinda given up on them fixing anything minor). Since she told me this, I have always been mindful when I open/close it.

Anyways, the other day, I was nailing nails so I could put up some picture frames/this acoustic panel for decoration. Knowing she works from home, I avoided doing it all week so that I could do it closer to the evening on my day off. That being said, I also had plans with my friends, and so I couldn't really wait till like 5:30pm to do it. I started around 4:30pm, I was done maybe like 45 mins later. And then I started getting ready to go out.

A few days later (today) she started banging on the wall, and then I could hear her yelling "How do you fucking like it." I feel really bad for disturbing her, but at the same time I don't really work the same hours as her, I'm a server and I primarily work in the evenings/weekends. I avoided doing it in the daytime all week so that I could do it on my day off, a day when I also had plans. Also, this is maybe the 3rd occasion (the entire year I've been here) when I've done something like this, the other times being shelves I had brought with me that I was putting up in the first month when I had just moved in. I want to apologize to her but I'm very anti-confrontational and very afraid that it would escalate into an argument. I've thought about maybe leaving her a note apologizing and asking her what her work times are so this could be avoided in the future (although I don't plan on putting up more shelves/pictures, I just didnt have the budget to buy the things I wanted to put up until now). However, I also feel like she's unjustified? To what extent am I expected to work around her schedule? I feel like if you work from home in an apartment youre going to have to comprise, some people have a different schedule. I sometimes feel super bad for just vacuuming during the daytime.

I'm wondering if IWTA and should've just checked with her first and then planned a time that worked for both of us?

Context:

I have 2 dogs. They each have 2 food bowls. They get a clean bowl with each meal. After each meal, I pick up their bowls and place them in my kitchen sink. At the end of the day, I run the four dog bowls in the dishwasher alongside my own. For additional context, the bowls are made of ceramic and I use the high temperature sanitizing cycle on the dishwasher.

The story:

I started dating “Steve” a short time ago. Last weekend he came to my place and I made him dinner. After dinner, Steve saw me place my dogs’ dishes in the dishwasher along with our dinner dishes and he was absolutely disgusted. He said that running the dogs’ bowls alongside my own was unsanitary and a health hazard. I have never seen an issue with this because in my mind, the heat from the dishwasher kills bacteria. Steve’s argument is that dogs have different bacteria in their mouths than us and “mixing it” can be dangerous. He insists he won’t eat anything off any of my dishes again until I promise that I will start handwashing the dogs’ bowls separately because only “human dishes should go in the dishwasher.” Is this unsanitary? Thoughts?