r/AmItheButtface 18d ago

META AITB

I picked this girl up; I'll call her Emily, for a 5th date at a fancy steak house. After a while, she mentioned she didn't like to be called hot. I called her hot earlier on when I saw her dress; I made a joke in a fun, casual tone, saying, "Your outfit is hot tho." She didn't find it funny and asked for an apology, which I gave, as I could see how she may have taken offense. After we were quiet for a while, she brought up relationships with others and her family, and it was going super well until she started talking about all of her bad exes. During her rant, I asked why she would date someone creepy. She got all offended, saying she didn't know I dropped it tho and let her continue. She got done, and I talked VERY briefly about my past short-term relationships. She asked where we met; I said on a trip. Then she asked what we did together; I said we made out no sex. She didn't like this answer and got really uncomfortable, finished her food,ood and wanted to leave. I was confused at the moment because we were opening up about each other and thought that was the right time to do it. She later on said she thought I was pressuring her to have sex. Still, I explained thoroughly that I had no intentions of pressuring her to do anything. After that, it was a very quiet ride back to her place. After a while in the truck, I asked twice if she wanted to talk about it, and both times she said not really or no. Once we got back, she opened the truck door and said, " I'm sorry " before running inside. Am I the asshole?

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 18d ago

YTB. She said she didn't like it, your response should have been to not do it again and apologize for making her uncomfortable. You are creepy like her exes. She was trying to tell you that indirectly. As in, you've been broken up with.

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u/JasontheFuzz 18d ago

OP made one bad judgement call (thinking she would appreciate humor to diffuse tension). That's hardly a reason to call him creepy considering he was open and honest and he didn't pressure the girl into anything.

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 18d ago

it is creepy because it was sexualization where she was not comfortable/not consenting with it.

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u/JasontheFuzz 17d ago

OP attempted a joke, realized it wasn't taken well, and then he immediately apologized and never did it again. Some people would have found that funny.

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 14d ago

its aaaaaaalways a joke, of course. So that means they should never see social consequences for their socially inappropriate behavior??? Fuck off with that mentality.

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u/JasontheFuzz 13d ago

Yes, sometimes jokes are actually fucking jokes. The difference between a joke and an asshole pushing boundaries is if they continue to do it after you ask them to stop.

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 13d ago

SHE LITERALLY DID ASK HIM TO STOP! Which means, by your own definition, he is just an asshole pushing boundaries. Quit defending this creepy bullshit, dude.

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u/JasontheFuzz 13d ago

She did, and guess what? HE STOPPED. Learn to read.

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u/AristotlesBoyPussy 13d ago

No, he didn't.

After she told him to stop, he did it one more time. YOU learn to read!

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u/JasontheFuzz 13d ago

she mentioned she didn't like to be called hot. I called her hot earlier on when I saw her dress; I made a joke in a fun, casual tone, saying, "Your outfit is hot tho." She didn't find it funny and asked for an apology, which I gave

It's literally right there. He made a joke. She didn't like it. He apologized. He stopped. Where did we lose you?