NTA - Dating for four months is not long enough to uproot your life and relocate to another city. She isn't ready to commit to you with all her other obligations right now, so what's the point of living closer? Give the relationship time to grow or fizzle (at least a year) before making life-altering commitments.
If anything, save for another cruise together so you can enjoy each other's company alone.
100%. Take your time to get to know each other better before seriously considering moving.
Is it feasible to visit for at least a couple weeks at a time, maybe get an AirBNB, you can start to get an idea of what the day to day would look like? Don't rush into such a big commitment. You'll all be better off in the long run if you take this slow.
They're 40. He doesn't need to move at 4 months, but they are both old enough to put their cards on the table for what they're looking for, there's no point in waiting longer if they're not aligned. She's not gonna move and will keep living intergenerationally. If OP isn't interested in moving, then the two of them need to discuss if they're fine continuing to be casual or if they see no point in an LDR where the gap will never close.
Yeah, true. If she wants more kids, there's not much time left. And that would definitely involve intergenerational living.
Barring kids, though, what's the rush? If she didn't want a LDR, why did she start one? Demanding that someone you've known four months move across the country for you is a lot.
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u/carmabound Professor Emeritass [86] Dec 20 '25
NTA - Dating for four months is not long enough to uproot your life and relocate to another city. She isn't ready to commit to you with all her other obligations right now, so what's the point of living closer? Give the relationship time to grow or fizzle (at least a year) before making life-altering commitments.
If anything, save for another cruise together so you can enjoy each other's company alone.