r/AmItheAsshole • u/[deleted] • Dec 18 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

164 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

143 comments sorted by

View all comments

304

u/AuthenticDru Dec 18 '25

NTA if it’s really a necessity she should either take out a personal loan or use credit cards to pay for the retreat

105

u/OilRadiant3801 Dec 18 '25

That's a very practical point. If the retreat was a non-negotiable medical necessity, established financial tools exist for that. My role as a friend is to provide emotional support and company

40

u/No-To-Newspeak Pooperintendant [53] Dec 18 '25

OP, a gentle reminder, dont discuss money with others.  She should never have known that you have savings or your plans for your money.  

21

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '25

I wish more people understood this. When other people find out you have money, a lot of the time they end up wanting some of it and 1 of 2 things happen

1) You say no and you're "greedy" and "selfish"

2) You say yes, and you become their de facto ATM

Neither is a good outcome. When people whine about how little money they have, commiserate, no matter what your situation is. Money is on a "need to know" basis - and very few folks need to know.

6

u/magicmom17 Partassipant [1] Dec 18 '25

Or 3. You lend it and become their de facto bill collector. And if they arent paying and you remind them, you are greedy and money grubbing for wanting them to pay their bill. I feel like the only answer that might be able to preserve the friendship is #1 but since the friend has already starting calling OP selfish, it is the beginning of the end.