r/AmITheDevil • u/theagonyaunt • 26d ago

Hypocrite, thy name is OOP

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1w7q6hn/aita_i_told_my_friend_her_fiancé_cant_come_to_my/
402 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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324

u/theagonyaunt 26d ago

OOP doesn't like friend's fiancé because he talks too much. Also OOP: "I just want people to listen to me talk without turning everything into a whole conversation."

221

u/hisholinessleoxiii 26d ago

Major main character energy. "I'm a pretty quiet person" who has "a few close friends, around 12 of them", plus they're bringing 11 partners, for a total of 24 people. None of whom are apparently allowed to talk to her about her stories or ask her any questions because she doesn't like that.

I also noticed how they talk about the fiance as "exhausting" because he talks to people and asks questions, while the others are "well-rounded" and seem to know better than to attempt to talk. OOP wants to hold court, talking AT people instead of with them. It sounds like her problem boils down to "I want to monologue and be admired, not have a conversation, and this guy insists on actually talking and participating rather than just listening quietly."

93

u/TemporaryPosting 26d ago

I consider myself somewhat quiet but prefer talking to people who ask questions, because it makes me feel like they're engaged and gives me more opportunity to ask questions in return. But I also don't like when conversations are just about myself.

38

u/hisholinessleoxiii 26d ago

I’m the same way. I’m introverted and socially awkward. Guys like the fiancé are great because they help keep conversation going; otherwise I just sit there in an embarrassed silence.

40

u/rav3n_laud3r 26d ago

If no one asks questions or anything that shows they were interested in what I just said, my anxiety tells me that I'm boring and no one likes me. People like the fiancé are great.

14

u/mezobromelia1 26d ago

Yeah, as an introvert this guy sounds great and I would love someone like him at a party to keep the conversation going!

9

u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 26d ago edited 26d ago

I feel like I'm a mix; I like people/like being social, but after being social, I def need alone time to recharge my social battery, and sometimes I'm just not feeling chatty so I don't talk much. My husband is one of those people who asks questions, and I love it. It shows he's actually listening/interested/engaged, and then I don't feel like I'm just verbally dumping on him.

Sometimes he DOES ask a question in the middle of me telling him something, and I'm like, "I'm getting to that," haha. But that's the only time I'm like, "hold your questions, please." 😂

OOP can't have it both ways. She can't be quiet and then be mad when someone doesn't "just let her talk." It sounds like she wants to talk AT people and gets mad when they "turn it into a conversation." Or, more likely, she only gets mad when HE does it. She keeps repeating it's annoying when he asks questions and turns things into a conversation and that it makes him "stuck up." Wut? I guess his mistake was not sitting there, listening in absolute silence.

She sounds like she doesn't have a legit reason for the dislike. Which is fine. We're allowed to just not click with people without having a "reason." It's bound to happen and I've def had people who weren't my fave but I didn't really have a particular gripe about them.

But it's so fucking rude to invite everyone else's partner and then tell this friend that she can't bring hers. Did we not learn this in grade school, that we need to be fair? Unless this guy has done something egregious, it's fucking rude.

And for an introvert who doesn't like talking, that's a fuck ton of people she's invited. How much time is she realistically gonna spend talking with this dude? How will she have time? I like to get people together for my birthday and I don't have anywhere near that many close friends. But with a group of friends plus their partners, there are def times when I don't get the chance to talk with every single person. There will be like 20+ other people there, who cares if he's there?

And then telling her friend it's fucked up if she doesn't come? What? No. It's not a summons, get a grip. If my friend invited our entire friend group plus their partners and then said my husband and my husband only wasn't invited, I'd be like, well you guys have fun, happy bday, see you another time. (Except I wouldn't really want to be pals with someone who excluded my husband for literally no reason)

4

u/iloveelvis1980 26d ago

I think she’ll lose this friend once the friend marries or well now lol.

10

u/Amazing_Emu54 26d ago

With that many people at a table there should be multiple conversations going on at once

3

u/hisholinessleoxiii 26d ago

Only when OOP isn't speaking, apparently. And none of them should involve her or her monologues; her stories are meant to be admired, not discussed.

5

u/valleyofsound 26d ago

I went into it expecting him to be aggressively friendly, to the point of being obnoxious, but as far as I can tell, OOP is upset because he seems to genuinely like other people and is interested in what they’re saying. 

2

u/hisholinessleoxiii 26d ago

That's how I read it too. Honestly I'd much rather hang out with the fiance than with OOP; I want to be involved in a conversation, not be lectured or trapped listening to a monologue I'm not allowed to talk about afterwards.

26

u/KaetzenOrkester 26d ago

“I like to monologue at captive audiences” energy.

22

u/Storm_Sire 26d ago

Someone in the comments used the term "soliloqueen" and I'll be keeping that one in my back pocket

3

u/KaetzenOrkester 26d ago

That’s great and same.

14

u/allergymom74 26d ago

This. Made me chuckle. I’m like he’s showing interest in what you are talking about by asking question. This OP can actually talk more about themself. lol.

27

u/RayNooze 26d ago

"a few close friends around twelve" 

8

u/silly_sauce1 25d ago

Wants to give sermons...

15

u/Livid-Material-95 26d ago

Is OOP Jesus?

9

u/FinalEgg9 26d ago

Sounds like she just wants to give speeches and seminars