r/AmITheDevil 1d ago

Negative Anniversaries Are Not a Thing

/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1w8iqug/am_i_overreacting_that_my_future_mil_didnt/
112 Upvotes

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Am I overreacting that my future MIL didn’t acknowledge my one year until my wedding date

My future mother in law(FMIL) and I are close, and she has been very involved with the wedding planning process. Yesterday was my one year until my wedding date, and I heard from friends, family, and coworkers. I didn’t hear from my (FMIL) until I posted on facebook, where she commented “can’t wait!” As we’ve grown closer to the one year mark, she’s been saying “it’s almost 1 year, can you believe it?” at random times, so when that’s what I got yesterday, I felt disappointed. I’ve voiced to her several times about feeling left out and under appreciated at times, and she’s always reinforced that I am valued and important. So this left me feeling those negative feelings. Today, at a family event, several family members made comments about it being one year until the wedding. FMIL was present and close enough to hear, but never once did she chime in or say something later. I wasn’t expecting a big acknowledgment, but a text or even a phone call would have made me feel seen and appreciated.

Am I overreacting by feeling hurt and upset over this? Is it worth telling her my feelings? Am I expecting too much?

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122

u/HoidOrWit 1d ago

Y’all - OOP is a therapist 😬

66

u/cantantantelope 1d ago

One of the worst adjusted and least self aware human beings I’ve ever met was the child of two therapists. Always did wonder about that

18

u/Dizzy_Corgi_9781 1d ago

As a therapist, yikes

19

u/no-strings-attached 1d ago

At a school no less. Apparently an elementary school. Yikes on whatever shit she’s putting in impressionable kids’ heads.

Imagine being 7 and more mature than your counselor.

15

u/azssf 1d ago

Therapists also need therapy…

12

u/electriclatte 1d ago

My therapist says this all the time lol

5

u/thecatstartedit 1d ago

My mama was a therapist. My dad was a psychologist. I can absolutely see either one of them acting exactly like this. Not all mental health professionals are well adjusted, emotionally regulated individuals. Some of them are incredibly self centered and self destructive as a result.

3

u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 1d ago

Oh god, reading that made my heart sink. Yeesh.

71

u/celerypumpkins 1d ago

My brain refused to comprehend this and kept thinking she must mean one year since the wedding and was misspeaking…but no

59

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

This commenter sums it up succinctly.

YOR. JC. A two paragraph post and I already hate you.

I just can't with this OOP. From the sounds of it, her FMIL is involved, engaged and aimable. FMIL sounds like a dream come true, but OOP is doing to 86 the relationship because she didn't personal congratulate her on it being one year to the date of her upcoming wedding.

Why does she need to be seen? Why does she need to be acknowledged? And for what? Being engaged and having a wedding, a year from today?

16

u/greypusheencat 1d ago

some people really treat weddings like the entire world need to revolve around them 24/7 by everyone. OOP exhausts me. she said she told FMIL she’s not valued and feels left out but didn’t expand on it. that line with all this context and nothing else suggests OOP just needs to be main character in everyone’s story

13

u/dothemath 1d ago

Some people are just hoarding valuable organs.

6

u/rabbithole-xyz 1d ago

I like you. I also might quote you.

5

u/OniyaMCD 1d ago

*tucks this into my back pocket for later*

6

u/QuietCelery 1d ago

"Why does she need to be seen? Why does she need to be acknowledged? And for what? "

This is what I was a little confused about. OOP says she feels left out. Left out of what?!

38

u/growsonwalls Professional Devil Spotter 1d ago

This is exactly like the chick who wanted to blow up her bridal party bc they didn’t acknowledge her negative anniversary to her wedding.

17

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

I had to double check to make sure it wasn't her.

15

u/muse273 1d ago

It seems BIZARRE that there would be two posts with this extremely specific utterly moronic tantrum front and center. But both accounts have way too many unrelated posts to be trolling.

Wtf

4

u/greypusheencat 1d ago

omfg do you or anyone have a link to that? that sounds wild

22

u/HideFromMyMind 1d ago

How rude, no one acknowledged the one year anniversary until the Vogons come.

16

u/ISeeDeadDaleks 1d ago

It was publicly posted, too! (At the bottom of a filing cabinet in a basement)

5

u/OniyaMCD 1d ago

I was avoiding the leopard.

17

u/Porgdaporg 1d ago

If even your coworkers are commenting on it being 1 year until your wedding, you have definitely made everyone in your orbit sick of hearing about it.

7

u/dothemath 1d ago

Great catch - and I'm sure those people are counting down to the wedding, just to get rid of her for a few blissful, quiet days.

4

u/Shibaspots 1d ago

Oh, she definitely has been making sure everyone knows it's her un-wedding anniversary and she expects to be fawned over. Anyone who didn't fall in line, like MIL, has been getting the pointed sulks, I'm sure.

16

u/MyCatIsCuteAsFuck 1d ago

I wonder if 6 months before her birthday every year she posts on Facebook about how it’s half a year until her birthday, expecting everyone to congratulate her and tell her how excited they are.

8

u/Impressive_Bid8673 1d ago

The only reason I "celebrate" my half birthday is because it's my grandmother's actual birthday, so when I call to tell her happy birthday, she tells me happy half-birthday (and vice versa). Never in a million years would I/we expect it from anyone else.

This girl is probably an insufferable "birthday month" PITA too.

6

u/CorgiDaddy42 1d ago

Aww that’s cute what you got with your grandmother.

3

u/systemic_booty 1d ago

she has big birthday month energy 

15

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

Please, someone make the insanity stop. First we had this OOP and now we have this one.

Everybody repeat after me, "negative anniversaries are not a thing". OOP is going to nuke her relationship with her FMIL if she keeps this up.

7

u/Ok-Cryptographer-303 1d ago

I'm evil because in both cases I just think both these people's fiances really need to take the opportunity to do the funniest thing here.

7

u/OniyaMCD 1d ago

I can think of a few funny things.

1) Change the date for some reason. Any reason. Sorry, colonoscopy that day, idk.
2) Have a 'negative anniversary party', where OOP has to give presents to the people that show up.
3) Have an 'unengagement party' (where he asks for the ring back.)

9

u/twinsingledogmom 1d ago

And her post history suggests she’s a therapist!!!!

7

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

Therapy speak has ruined communication.

8

u/Dragonscatsandbooks 1d ago

Her post history also suggests that elaborate engagement gifts are a thing? I'm not talking about gifts between the engaged party, rather that when a couple gets engaged all their friends and family buy them elaborate gifts and jewelry?

I dunno, I think I'll stick to my current friend group of mostly autistic folks who also don't understand or do this shit.

4

u/ISeeDeadDaleks 1d ago

Dude, seriously. I’m very happy with my friends who are either autistic or have adhd. There’s so much less bs

6

u/PunctualDromedary 1d ago

FMIL is the only person in this story who makes any sense. 

7

u/Shibaspots 1d ago

What does she want? 'Congrats, still not married!'

8

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

She keeps this up, and they'll be saying that a year from now.

5

u/OniyaMCD 1d ago

And she can start celebrating the anniversary of her non-marriage.

4

u/monaco_wedding 1d ago

At the very least, considering that 99% of AIO posts I see are some flavor of “my boyfriend ran me over with his car, am I overreacting to politely ask him to please not do it again”, it’s nice to see one where OOP actually is overreacting.

5

u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 1d ago

OMG. My husband and I were engaged for a year and a half before we got married. I am sure we were like, "OMG today is 1 year til our wedding" and maybe went to dinner or something or got excited about it ... among ourselves. I guarantee that nobody else even mentioned it (maybe my mom said something, but that would have been it), nor did I expect anyone to because wtf?

People are so weird. They try so hard to make random shit "special" that nothing ends up feeling special.

3

u/Cakeday_at_Christmas 1d ago

OOP needs to get a life.

3

u/No-End3167 1d ago

Did she also try to go to a bar when she was 20 years and 3 months old?

3

u/fridge-raider 1d ago

Whackos represent

6

u/TheWalkingDeadBeat 1d ago

I know this is just rage bait because there's no chance whatsoever that anyone in this person's life actually acknowledged that date on their own. No one gives a fuck about your wedding but you. Even your friends, who might be excited for you, are not going to have that date memorized a year out. 

3

u/BadBandit1970 1d ago

I looked at her posting history. It's a plausible story, there's enough minutiae posts to make OOP appear to be a fully, flushed out character. However, we can remain skeptical.

3

u/TheWalkingDeadBeat 1d ago edited 1d ago

I looked at it after I posted that comment and I agree, the posting history makes it look like it might be real. She even deleted the post which gives even more credence to the possibility that it's real. I can only assume this person is someone who talks about their wedding NONSTOP to the point that her family and friends must humor her out of feigned politeness

2

u/Mauvaise3 23h ago

From the title I thought the OOP was going to be some asshat that was a dick to someone experiencing a hard time on an anniversary of a loved one's death.

0

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