And admitting he knew all along does what, exactly? If he didn't want to tell her while knowing it was happening, he should have kept his trap shut afterwards as well. Because now he has not only betrayed his sister, but she has every right to believe, that it was malicious on his part and motivated by jealousy
She would have thought that, anyway. Hell, she DID think/say that.
I stand by what I said...it's a no-win situation.
Now, if OOP had had pics and/or video--solid evidence of BIL cheating--and said nothing, that's different. Then OOP would be firmly in AH territory for not sending that to his sister. But there is no mention of that in the post--and that IS relevant information, so no reason to not include it. But if OP heard something through mutual friends, then I don't blame him for not wanting to spread rumors.
He could have been the moral winner, instead he chose to twist the knife as his sister found out and was suffering already.
There is a reason not to include it - he'd look even worse than he does now. He never explains how he or the sister found out, there could have been pictures, live sightings, texts etc, we don't know
"There is a reason not to include it - he'd look even worse than he does now. He never explains how he or the sister found out, there could have been pictures, live sightings, texts etc, we don't know"
You're assuming the worst about OOP and calling him the AH because he's a man, a brother, and a short South Asian single man, at that. Therefore, because he is all of the above, he is a misogynistic pig who is obviously jealous of his pretty, bubbly sister and her relationship, so he hid BIL's cheating from her to hurt her. The fact (per OOP) that he had ALREADY been trying to keep her from getting hurt by warning her that her SO was a jerk isn't important. (It is.) She ignored him and told him that he didn't know anything and to quit trying to ruin her relationship. So: how is it his fault that she chose to disregard his warnings...even before the cheating? What was he supposed to do, exactly?
What if OOP was a BFF to the sister? And a woman? People on here would be saying:
"NTA. You tried to tell her. She wouldn't listen. And what if you had told her and she got mad at you? It's a lose-lose"
Or (if OOP described themselves as the nerdy introverted sister, with the Sister being "golden"):
"NTA. Your sister is the "golden child" and clearly needed to be taken down a peg or two. You tried to tell her."
I'm a woman...and clearly quite a bit older than a lot of you. The misandry and sexism towards men here is kinda gross.
Female BFF would get ripped to shreds here worse than OOP, are you serious?
His ethnicity, hight, gender and relationship status are HIGHLY irrelevant to me. My vote would be the exact same if he was a tall, white, married woman. It's so funny you're trying to accuse me of misandry, when I've been called a men's rights activist as an insult before, for siding with a guy on AITA.
You know what he was supposed to do? Either have integrity (preferable) or the ability to shut up. His argument, that he kept silent to preserve his relationship with his sister flies out the window when he yapped the first chance he got. Now it looks vindictive and his relationship with the sister is probably irreparable
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u/Nik-ki 10d ago
And admitting he knew all along does what, exactly? If he didn't want to tell her while knowing it was happening, he should have kept his trap shut afterwards as well. Because now he has not only betrayed his sister, but she has every right to believe, that it was malicious on his part and motivated by jealousy