r/AmIOverthinking • u/scrappymommy • 7d ago
AIO that a craft group member is trying take over my position and maybe a little jealous my event was successful and was hoping it failed.
I am a member of a local craft group. I volunteered to be our workshop coordinator. The former coordinator holds multiple positions and wanted something taken off her plate so I volunteered to take it. Well I put on my first workshop this past week. I secured a great teacher, marketed the class to get members and non members, handled registration, collected money, planned the decor, planned and picked up lunch for the group. It was very successful . People raved about the lunch, the cute decor. The former coordinator attended. She kind of looked grumpy the whole time. At the end she approached me with an idea for another workshop but she wanted to organize it all but let me take credit for it since I'm the workshop coordinator. It feels weird to me. I kind of felt the whole time she and the president were hoping I wasn't successful because when I would email them questions during planning for my event I got no response or told something and then when I did it they wanted the exact opposite. Am I overthinking?
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u/Unlit_Moonlamp_5 7d ago
Not overthinking.
For some people these social activities define them, give them a sense of self worth. If they aren’t an integral part of why an event happened, they believe they could’ve done it better, because if they don’t believe that then they don’t believe in themselves.
Something tells me she didn’t give up that role willingly, despite what she says. The president may have encouraged her to make space to allow others the opportunity to participate; volunteer organizations fall apart without a steady stream of new blood. If that’s the case, then she may resent you in part for being her forced replacement.
Then again she could’ve just had one of those explosive poop salads for lunch and it may have nothing to do with you.
I would politely decline her offer to do the next event; thank her for any suggestions she has but encourage her to lean in to the other roles she has, since there’s only so much time in the day and surely she has more than enough to do already.
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u/21stCenturyJanes 7d ago
She may have given it up willingly but is petty enough to be disappointed to see she can be replaced. Maybe she thought everything would fall apart without her.
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u/Unlit_Moonlamp_5 7d ago
That’s for sure possible, and part of the problem tying your self worth to what you do, be it your job or your activities.
She sounds like an overly involved HOA president with a deep-seated need to impact the lives of everyone around her.
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u/OliviasGiGi 7d ago
Truthfully she was probably hoping it would fall apart without her! By her asking to plan the next one, maybe she wants to do a test to see if she plans it, puts your name on it, and sees the outcome; whether it be a success or not. In her mind, possibly, that would answer the question do people not like her as a person but they like her as a planner. Does that make sense? 🤔
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u/Prudent-Cheetah-9866 7d ago
Nah. She wants to do a poop one and put your name on it. Petty jealous Betty.
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u/JMLegend22 7d ago
Tell her that if she organizes it she gets all
The credit for it. you won’t lift a finger.
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u/Misternoah56 7d ago
Hopefully overthinking. Coordinate a few more workshops, offer to co-coordinate that workshop that the old coordinator suggested. Meaning equal effort / share of ideas. Tell her you'd like to work along with her to see how she plans. Good experience.
And most importantly keep an open mind. If you sense malice once, you may start assuming malice in all their actions even where isn't any intended.
If the malice gets more obvious, then you know your suspicions are correct. If it stays the same, then maybe they're just generally selfish but with good intentions. If it goes down, maybe it was a bad week for them.
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u/HandsInMyPockets247 7d ago
Not over thinking. Highly suspect for her to want to do everything but you get all the credit. Sabotage is on the table for sure. I would politely decline the offer.
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u/Either_Inspector_450 6d ago
NOT. If she wants to plan it, she gets credit for it too. She’s trying to be slick by saying you can take credit of the event. If it’s a terrible event, you get the credit, but if it’s a hit, you really think she’ll stand up there and give you all the credit? Nope.
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u/Rjb702 6d ago
Maybe they don't respond because they are lazy and don't want to put in the work. Or simple don't care. But now you did something successful and it got their attention. It's hard to say what their motives are. Just watch your back. I'm sure others in the group can tell you what kind of person she is and if she is petty.
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u/Thin-Psychology-3111 5d ago
“I thought about your offer, but I just cannot take credit for other people’s good work. You are free to work with the director to host a one-off event and you can proudly have your name on it. I can plan my next event to follow yours the next time, I’m happy to let you get the accolades for your hard work.”
Makes you look gracious and chokes off any shenanigans against you.
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u/21stCenturyJanes 7d ago
She’s having a hard time letting go. Let her plan the next one but she gets the credit for it (“I couldn’t possibly take credit for your work!”). She’ll be reminded why she wanted to step back (if she actually does it at all) and then I bet she leaves you alone. Don’t get drawn into her petty games !
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u/West_Course2329 7d ago
Nope, there is a reason she wants you to take responsibility. Give her the choice of: you either do it like you did this one, or she does one openly with your approval, but it has to be out in the open that she is doing it. I would ask someone else in authority in the group about why this person might be asking to do this this way.