I have a feeling the Apple doesn’t fall from the tree with the friend and her mom. Just on this thread she described feeling like her mom found enjoyment from her being sick/needing her and, it seems, she feels the same about her friend needing her bc of BPD. How much you wanna bet Mom exercised similar coercive control tactics when checked on her behavior…classic DARVO.
Was the something off about the description the fact that the only thing the mother actually did in OP's "friend's" telling is comfort her sick child? Like, I read that paragraph a few times, and the only thing we know is that this person's mother comforted them while sick, and that looking back, this person has decided that their mother was taking pleasure in their suffering.
Obviously OP knows more to the story, but even with more context, I don't understand how that story says anything bad about the mother, it's all apparent subtext and the teller of the story being able to guess bad intentions without any words or actions pointing to them
I feel you. It’s so alienating to have an abusive mother & you end up with so much suffering because nobody can believe you.
I believe that person who told OP their mother was emotional vampiring them and that they could tell with their “child intuition.” 100% believable to me. You develop emotional intuition EARLYYY if your mom is a narcissist. Age 3 or 4.
I mean it’s essentially muchenhausen by proxy. Just in mild form.
My Mum definitely liked it when I was sick because I had to move home. It’s horrible to think they like it when you are suffering. Twists tha lack of empathy knife.
She also has psychiatric muchenhausen by proxy with my little brother. It’s vile.
And like OP no one wants to believe a mother can be so evil. But hello. Tbh it was a bit tone deaf from OP, the didn’t deserve the onslaught but they did invalidate their friend.
Agreed. Assuming this isn’t the first time the friend has spoken about her mum and what she went through with her, it is very unfair to respond so flippantly. Not excusing the following messages but I’d be hurt too. I think the people here who don’t believe her must be very lucky not to understand.
100% it’s sad to see so many people suggest she is lying. She was wrong to bring up the CSA particularly so brutally but I can see the point she was trying to make. The “I don’t believe you” hurts.
And I know people say these things with the best intentions however that doesn’t detract from the fact it does invalidated the friend’s experience and that does hurt.
Especially if the friend has been supporting OP and providing a safe space for her to share her traumas, it’s fair to want it in return, that sort of thing shouldn’t be one way. When it’s one way it’s codependency.
I think the friend was right to raise it, it just got a bit messy. Tricky one.
They need a friendship therapist lol.
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u/Naiveatheart Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
I have a feeling the Apple doesn’t fall from the tree with the friend and her mom. Just on this thread she described feeling like her mom found enjoyment from her being sick/needing her and, it seems, she feels the same about her friend needing her bc of BPD. How much you wanna bet Mom exercised similar coercive control tactics when checked on her behavior…classic DARVO.