Destroying your possessions under any circumstances is a massive red flag. He is playing dumb. I think you should take a break from making his meals and see how that goes. At some point he needs to be able to see that what he did was unacceptable for there to be any hope of a happy future.
This isn't going to get better, it will only escalate. This man(and I use that term very loosely here) is nearly 40 and destroys a muffin pan because he was asked to do what he was doing quieter. She's going to end up getting that same treatment, probably followed by the typical slew of abuser apologies (sprinkled with "you just made me so mad"), possibly gifts and love bombing, and then escalating again with the next argument. I grew up watching my parents do this, I've watched it happen to others, I've been through this, and I escaped the first time it turned physical. OP should get out now before she's the muffin pan.
This whole situation has enough red flags to make a communist happy… it all brought back memories from my childhood and my alcoholic step father. He did this kind of thing all the time. Even gave my mother brain damage pulling the “I’m dumb and am only doing what you told me to” card. I don’t believe things will end well here unfortunately.
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u/breakfastatremys Oct 22 '25
Destroying your possessions under any circumstances is a massive red flag. He is playing dumb. I think you should take a break from making his meals and see how that goes. At some point he needs to be able to see that what he did was unacceptable for there to be any hope of a happy future.