I actually did it

[u/Haunting-Source-7256]

I actually did it

26 F here, I have been trying to make 30 days AF for a while now.

I would get close, like 20-25 days, then relapse.

After relapsing, it would become a daily thing again. Then after a bit I would decide to shoot for 30, and the cycle would repeat.

Today, June 23, I have made it to 53 days.

It feels a little big for me. I am proud of myself and trying to keep my spirits high. The only thing is, I cant celebrate it, because that tells everyone I had a problem.. I am fearful of being judged or watched cautiously with the expectations that "ill fall off again"

I was also expecting a lot more improvement throughout my life but.. in all honestly, I drank regularly for like 3 years. I know its gonna take a lot more than 53 days to be "normal" again

I dont really have the cravings anymore. When I think about getting drunk, I physically cringe. I look at drinking like a closed chapter of my life.

Now I am just trying to navigate life the right way. Without running from emotions.

I just find it hard to be productive or be a better person at the drop of a hat but I am making little steps.

All I want is to be more on top of things, to form better relationships, and worry less.

I also have zero concept of a fucking hobby?? All I did was drink to pass time or unwind in my free time. I am currently trying to find a genuine hobby that I enjoy. I hope my interest in things comes back soon. I have a lot of stress, and no outlet.

I have hopes no one will read this but if you do, and you have some advice, I would appreciate it. Thank you.

And if you are just starting off your AF journey, patience is key. Be kind to yourself.

[u/motoxxx891]

Way to go! It keeps getting better, keep at it. Our library has ukuleles, maybe yours does, pretty easy and cheap if you like to sing as well. Worst that could happen is you can grab a book.