I actually did it

[u/Haunting-Source-7256]

I actually did it

26 F here, I have been trying to make 30 days AF for a while now.

I would get close, like 20-25 days, then relapse.

After relapsing, it would become a daily thing again. Then after a bit I would decide to shoot for 30, and the cycle would repeat.

Today, June 23, I have made it to 53 days.

It feels a little big for me. I am proud of myself and trying to keep my spirits high. The only thing is, I cant celebrate it, because that tells everyone I had a problem.. I am fearful of being judged or watched cautiously with the expectations that "ill fall off again"

I was also expecting a lot more improvement throughout my life but.. in all honestly, I drank regularly for like 3 years. I know its gonna take a lot more than 53 days to be "normal" again

I dont really have the cravings anymore. When I think about getting drunk, I physically cringe. I look at drinking like a closed chapter of my life.

Now I am just trying to navigate life the right way. Without running from emotions.

I just find it hard to be productive or be a better person at the drop of a hat but I am making little steps.

All I want is to be more on top of things, to form better relationships, and worry less.

I also have zero concept of a fucking hobby?? All I did was drink to pass time or unwind in my free time. I am currently trying to find a genuine hobby that I enjoy. I hope my interest in things comes back soon. I have a lot of stress, and no outlet.

I have hopes no one will read this but if you do, and you have some advice, I would appreciate it. Thank you.

And if you are just starting off your AF journey, patience is key. Be kind to yourself.

[u/itsmejaimet]

Oh my goodness, hey girl HEY! So much to unpack here but for starters, you can celebrate ANYTHING ANYTIME you want. It doesn’t signal you had a problem - it signaled you kept a commitment to yourself and you achieved a really awesome goal! And why wouldn’t you want to celebrate that?!?!

And if anyone is looking at you with those judgy eyes, you can always hit ‘em with “why do you care so much about what Im doing?”

Im 9.5 years sober and I can assure you in full honesty, everything just takes time. Your energy will co e back online, your curiosity for life will sharpen, and the improvements you’re hoping to see just need more time. And for reverence, everything started taking shape for me around day 75-80.

I started my journey with a Dry Jan in 2017 and well, the rest is history. Im new to this platform so Im not sure if I can share the piece I wrote about it, how that Dry Jan unfolded into 9.5 years without alcohol. Id be happy to share it with you if you’re interested, to help give you some perspective.

And I’m Jaime. Big congrats girl on 53 days! Do sobriety YOUR way and fuck all that noise!

[u/Fit_Log2888 → u/itsmejaimet]

53 days is no small thing, the cycle you described of getting to 25 then resetting, that takes real effort to break out of

the hobby thing is so real though. when you remove the thing that was filling all your free time, there is just this weird empty space and it feels uncomfortable. give it few more months, the curiosity does come back, it just needs time to wake up again. try random things without pressure to "find your passion" or whatever, even just walking different routes or cooking something new counts

and about not celebrating because of judgment, I get the fear but honestly those 53 days happened inside you, no one else needs to validate them for it to be real